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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 9:52:15 AM

PeonForHer

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I think you're conflating two different kinds of attractions between people, Dnomyar. If people could 'change their attitudes' such that they're able to see as physically attractive those people they currently find unattractive, they probably would. It would give us all immensely more opportunities of ending up in bed with someone!

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 9:55:51 AM

LadyConstanze

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Well, you skipped my point completely or did you have a problem with the fact that I make a difference between just meeting somebody as a friend or somebody meeting somebody else as a potential partner?

I was NOT talking about being friends, I was talking about the ones who are looking for a partner. Would I be looking for a partner I would also look in my own age group, a type I am attracted to, and not meet with somebody who I simply wouldn't be attracted to, that would be stupid and actually a bit dishonest, raising hope where there never will be hope.

As far as friends go, I'm not an ageist and I have friends from who are barely 20 and some that are well into retirement, so I do know somebody 30 years my senior can be a damned nice person, though the interests are quite different, I wouldn't go out of my way to meet somebody where all the odds say we won't mesh very well.

As for you dating women in their 20's, I have a different point of view on that, 40 years difference is A LOT, that's basically 2 generations between you, she might get a feeling of security from you but at the same time she is losing part of her youth. My partner is slightly younger than I am, I dated guys older than I am (though never much more than 10 to 15 years with one exception), the bigger the age difference is the more problems arise from it and frankly speaking, if there are 40 years difference then do look a bit ahead into the future, when one is 40 the other will be 80, possibly that there are fit 80 year olds about but chances are much more that somebody will still be relatively young and the other will be happy sitting at home with the TV and the highlight will be the doctor visits... If that works for somebody, great, more power to them, but I would prefer a partner that I can grow old with, not a partner that grows old on me.

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 2:28:31 PM

mummyman321

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From: Dusseldorf
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For me, I am willing to share a pic, but only if our interests match. Many Dommes will not even reply without a photo in your profile or a pic in your first email. Its their right to ask but it also tells me that is not who I am seeking. At the same time, I do not need to seek a picture of the Domme either. Her personality will show in her writing. I want to know if our interest or compatable. I think its kind of funny that a pic is required to even consider dominating me.

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 3:47:23 PM

MsStarlett

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Joined: 12/23/2007
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I don't normally require a photo for domination or friendship... but I do like to put a 'face' on the nics. So many of the nick names sound alike, I need a way to differentiate between the multiple people that I'm talking to at any given time.

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 5:59:05 PM

AAkasha

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide

If a person will not send you a picture or phone number after several mature message's, they could very well be passed by.

Then people may feel free to pass me by. I don't need them. I've been stalked before. It's not fun. People within a 100 miles of me are going to have to jump through extra hoops to find out who I am because I don't want nut cases showing up at my work wearing dog collars and expecting me to 'go to lunch' with them whenever they feel I should make time to feed their kinks. I don't want them on my doorstep begging to 'service me'. I don't want them calling me at home, at work at all hours of the day and night. Or showing up at public places that I frequent acting like total drooling idiots in front of my family. No Sir. Not my idea of fun. If it pisses off subs on CM - Fine by me. I'm NOT going through that crap again.

I have been going back and forth on this topic. I'm still not sure how I feel. I have a couple of pictures I am willing to share, but I don't give any others out - period. Ever. I especially don't give out snapshots. I never go on web cam. Do I have anything to hide? No. I just have issues with stalkers. I am happy to go on the phone with someone I am interested in - immediately. But I can't give multimedia out that is private and expect just because they promise me they won't share it that they won't. This is because of the web site I have - and have had since 1995 - and has managed to collected a handful of real yahoos that hang out at my post office box (I never go there, my mail is automatically forwarded, but I have been alerted), used to hang around clubs where I went, and private message people in my chat room on my site asking for photos of me and offering to pay for them. I don't know if it's multiple guys or one guy, but giving out photos or going on web cam is dangerous, and I might as well just post them on my site for all weirdos to see so they can follow me around and find my house - no thanks.

I am out in my career and out to my family, so there's no blackmail worries, but I will much more likely just fly to a city and meet someone than give them private pictures or go on web cam, which can be recorded. If people want to think that means I am male, any web search associated with my name will bring up such a long history, including people who have met me many times, that it's clear I'm not fictional.

At one point I considered making up a persona that had no affiliation with my web site, so I could freely use pictures, web cam, whatever, and only let the connection be made once I had some trust with a person - but it's a huge bomb to drop on someone that I "kind of have a web site of more than 700 erotic stories and articles I've been writing for 13 years." And even then, how could I know if things didn't work out he'd start spreading my personal pictures around?

It's kind of a no-win situation. I just meet the people who I connect with on my own dime - and there are few arguments for that. If they do have a problem with that, I have to move on.

Akasha

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 6:40:21 PM

MsStarlett

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I feel for you. I really do. And those who haven't had this problem are just sitting on that ticking time bomb. Eventually, we all run into someone who is a brick or two shy of a load.

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/13/2008 11:20:28 PM

azjojoba

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Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Wow, you really think I am funny? I am soooo flattered and yes, I have cracked the whip and made jokes, you know being a Domme doesn't mean that you have to be pissed off, I quite enjoy whipping people, so why should I actually act pissed off...

So since I am not a pro I must be a fake? Or should I just wait a few years (I hope you don't decide to upgrade your age limit) and then come back. Will you give me a shout when you have reached China, you are a fantastic digger!

I challenge you to go on a regular vanilla dating site and put up your picture, mention that you are married and you are looking for a bit of fluff on the side, not able to make a commitment you just want your kicks, and then come back and report that you had so much more success there than here.

So you are 51 (or your profile claims that) not exactly a fitness addict and you are disgruntled that women who could be your daughters aren't interested in "casual, private meetings" with you for the joy of fulfilling your desires. How about a dose of realism? What exactly do you have to offer?
To be honest, even if you had the body of an Adonis, charming, exactly my cup of tea, etc., after reading your journal, I'd be put off simply because I wouldn't particularly care to have private moments displayed on a public site for all to see, I do believe in the old saying that a gentleman enjoys but doesn't brag about his exploits...

Yes, lady, you are quite amusing. I just wish you would think things through a little more before you start flaming, but perhaps that's part of your evil charm.

As for fitness, that's all relative. I hiked ten miles in the mountains today, so your assumption that I'm some kind of couch potato is wrong. I do look like one though, and I would like to change that.

On the fake thing -- I said that there are exceptions. If you are one, bravo! Your profile seems sincere and honest so I have no reason to believe you are a fake. You said you used to pro domme, which probably proves my point on the age factor. If you were younger I have no doubt you would still be doing the pro thing. Are you getting a little too old now? Let's face it, most guys that want to pay for services are going to choose young women, so you are definitely over the hill to make the big bucks. Sorry babe, but that's just the way life works.

And before the pros have a hissy fit, let me make it clear that I have no problem with pro femdoms or any other type of cash for sexual services. That's just not a situation that pushes my buttons. That's too bad because it would be so much easier for me if I just paid for it. For one thing I wouldn't have to put up with the hecklers on this site!

You also seem to think I'm interested in young females. Wrong again. I made it very clear in my profile that I prefer being dominated by older women.

Your challenge is silly since I'm not interested in looking for a vanilla relationship. I have that already.

So, what I have to offer that's different than hundreds of other guys on this site? The only thing I can think of is my sparkling personality and superior intellect!

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RE: Question about talking to People from Collarme - 11/14/2008 4:03:43 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

Yes, lady, you are quite amusing. I just wish you would think things through a little more before you start flaming, but perhaps that's part of your evil charm.

I haven't flamed you at all, because I think with your "superior intellect" and your "sparkling personality" you would possibly think that irony is the land where the Ironians live.

quote:

You said you used to pro domme, which probably proves my point on the age factor. If you were younger I have no doubt you would still be doing the pro thing. Are you getting a little too old now? Let's face it, most guys that want to pay for services are going to choose young women, so you are definitely over the hill to make the big bucks. Sorry babe, but that's just the way life works.

Wow, that hurts me so much, especially coming from somebody with your amazing looks, you should be in Hollywood, you know...
Actually I stopped being a pro-domme about 5 years ago, maybe when I wasn't over the hill so much (somebody please hand me my zimmerframe) and the sole reason for that was simply that it was a risk with my vanilla career, which by the way always made bigger bucks than domming, the superior intellect you mentioned might tell you that the equipment doesn't come cheap and it is a myth that you can get rich from it, that of course would require that you would be informed and try to rub 2 braincells together, it's not that difficult, give it a try... Can you actually understand that somebody might not do it full-time and simply because they love it? And the fact that I never relied on the money (everything I made basically went to feed my leather fetish and bought new toys and tools, now I always had the liberty to say "Thank you, but you are not for me" because I didn't need the money to pay my rent, you still follow me or is it too complicated for you?) actually let me enjoy it to the max, but when it boils down that you are working in an environment where you are at a certain level, the risk of being outed might outweight the fun. I know it throws your theory quite a bit, but several advanced degrees pull in bigger bucks than swinging a whip.

I dressed up for Halloween and I do see what you mean, clearly I should be put to pasture (though I thought I had a few more years until I hit 40, wasn't 40 your big number?) and most guys would possibly pay me to not domme them, let me cry in my tea that I obviously have lost all my looks and became such a terrible old hag.

quote:

You also seem to think I'm interested in young females. Wrong again. I made it very clear in my profile that I prefer being dominated by older women.

Great, and that is the reason why you keep harping on that all the women under 40 are fakes or scammers? It should be paradise for you then, why are you complaining, gramps?

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