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RE: Managing Fears - 12/20/2005 4:44:51 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

First let me say anyone with the gumption to lay themselves out like that in this forum has NO fear. You have more strength than you know and I tip my hat in repsect.

My only limits a.k.a fears are the ones ones I put on myself. Therfore I cannot reach my natural depth with a fear of drowning.

fldrkhorse,

Thank you for the compliment.

I do not see courage as an absence of fear, but rather as having the strength to move forward despite the fear. Although I spoke of something that was deeply personal, I was terrified of actually posting it. In fact, I called my Lord at work shortly after I hit “post” to get a reality check. It came down to a question of significance. I am seeking other’s opinions, but they have little significance in my life and I will allow only the opinions that enhance me to influence my thoughts of self. I enjoy and value many of the thoughts and opinions shared on this board, but most here do not have a significant role in my life.

BTW, I like the quote in your signature line. Seeking to be a better me is a passion of mine.

Knight’s kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to fldrkhorse)

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RE: Managing Fears - 12/20/2005 5:01:16 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

i have a fear of being rejected as well. i feel that i am never good enough. That i could be better. So i am constantly striving to be "perfect". i do this with my Master now. i want Master to have no reason to want to leave me so i keep trying to be what others (husbands, partners) wished they had. i have it in my head that She will leave me and i try to deal with this almost on a daily basis. i have spoken with Master about this but i still feel the same way inside. i don't think i've figured out a way to manage yet because i still have these feelings. Maybe this thread will help me as well. i wish you the best kyra.

-carolyn

(in reply to Sensualips)

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RE: Managing Fears - 12/20/2005 5:05:13 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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I truly appreciate everyone's comments on this thread. I do not think it a possibility to say I will no longer fear rejection and for that to be a reality. We are finding that there are certain triggers (phrases and situations) that bring out this fear. It happened again last night, something triggered the fear and it was almost an instantaneous switch in mood. What I was most proud of myself for is that I didn’t fight it, I didn’t try to make it better, I didn’t try to talk it away. I just lay there and felt it and cried till I was exhausted. I just let the emotion run itself out. Then was able to think rationally about what was said that triggered the fear and realize that I can manage this.

Small steps, but progress nonetheless.

Knight’s kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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Post #: 23

RE: Managing Fears - 12/20/2005 5:13:19 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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i try and manage them by saying "screw the consequences" and charge forward. Erm, i lie to myself. i talk to myself. Actually at the moment, i am about to head out on a 10 day cruise, AWAY from MASTER, with MY FAMILY. Ug and double ug. As lame as it sounds, it frightens the bejesus out of me. Like where i can mentally seeing myself locking myself in my cabin. With out Master has my anxiety doing flips. Difficulty breathing, feeling all jittery. Eh, no i'm not happy about it. Dont ask why, i know its an irrational fear. Ug 2 days. Ug ad DOUBLE ug. So i am recognizing that it IS irrational, that i will be fine, everything else will be fine, i'm gonna have to go ahead instead of backing out, and constantly re assure myself and ask Master to re assure me that its going to be okay.

ug but it doesnt feel that way. And i know its not the same thing, but it is something that has fear.

Oh and Master wants to pierce my clit which i am terrified of. Half of me is coming up with a million ways to divert his mind into other things and the other half of me is wanting to just get it done and over with. But instead, i am just here and he will do it when he pleases andi will be terrified, but i am sure it'll be okay. BUT i'd really like to get it done and over with, as the worry drives me up the wall and i'm sure its not sooooooo bad. And it was brought up to me over a month ago. i'd like to stop being terrified of a BIG needle going through my SMALL clit. So.. charge! Just charge forward.

Oh and just incase ya care to know, which ya prolly dont. My clit is prolly being pierced the night before i leave. Ug. LOL

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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Post #: 24