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Hathalud -> RE: Are You Equal? (11/8/2008 2:54:03 AM)
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*chuckles* Am I equal to others? The devil's hiding place no... and while nearly all of you don't know me, I'm in a certain degree superior to most... That said, I approach others that I don't know with the expectation being treated as an equal. I'm not superior to others because of any single thing, but because the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Am I being Egoic, probably, but none of my closest friends would disagree with the above statement either.
Now... here's the zinger, I'm predominately submissive.... *chuckles* Bet you thought I was dominant...... So, for me to take a dominant and respect them as superior to me.... they have to earn that right. It's not automatically given to them, they have to earn it the same as my having to earn the right to be their subbie. I'm not inferior to others by any means. There may be areas in life that they may excel at in comparison, but when you get right down to it, if we put in equal effort, then we are equals. Sadly, most are unable to put in an effort to equal me, few match my... intensity.
Just because I have a deep seated need to please others and to make them happy does not mean that I am in any way shape or form inferior to them or anyone else. If and when I submit to another, I am still in a sense equal if talking to a total stranger. It is by choice that I choose to become the inferior as it is their choice to become the superior.
People that only care about getting their needs, wants and desires met and not really caring about the partner in their relationship, be they Dominant or submissive, getting their needs met too is a sign of two things:
1) An over inflated sense of self entitlement. An over inflated sense of entitlement is the biggest cause of trouble in our lives. For instance, when people steal they feel that they deserve whatever it was that they stole or the rewards of said theft.
2) An inability to actually relate to and bond with their partner on an emotional level. Into BDSM or not, if you love, truly love someone in that unconditional way that starts as compassion and grows from there, you're going to want to see them happy and that means that you have to care enough about their needs to do so. Discard their happiness and you show them how little you really care for them.
Bringing this back to on topic, someone that demands to be respected from the onset of communication for more than the equal that they are until *proven* to the other individual as otherwise, is a fool and a player. Conversely, someone that automaticly assumes that they are inferior is either suffering from extremely low self esteem or playing up to a fantasy of theirs (which probably relates back to the prior one)
Remember, the goal is to attain a level of love and trust that creates a level of devotion that the submissive entrusts their very life in the hands of the Dominant and the Dominant is equally devoted to the submissive enough to not allow undue or excessive harm come to pass upon their precious sub. You just can't do that if you demand from the onset that someone respect you just because you said they had to. Next you'll be demanding that they submit to genital torture with zero experience, warm up or conditioning to what you want to do....just because they are nothing to you but a hunk of flesh to bend to your will
*sighs* All to often humans forget their humanity and that people around them see, think, feel and so on are human too. After all, that's what hostage negotiators do, they remind the hostage takers that the people being held hostage are humans. This type of Dominant is the type to be afraid of and run away from while screaming.
I wanna add more, but I'm ready to pass out. *chuckles and then passes right out mid chuckle*
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