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Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 4:59:13 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Hello
For the past few weeks I have been listening to something within me that seems to speak more from a slave's heart verses what I always considered myself as a submissive. I am not asking about the difference between a slave and a submissive, since there is plenty material in the search libraries here. What I am seeking is how did those who considered themself submissive journey into being a slave? How did you come to realize you were more of a slave then a submissive?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for those who choose to answer.
oceanwynds

Post #: 1

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 5:00:56 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

HI ocean,
I found peace by having another make the decisions. That was the clincher for me.

Simple, but not easy.

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 2

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 5:16:02 PM

littlemisssnarf

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline

for me it was the Master i was with at the time.... he once said " be proud slave girl for you are cherished"

i said to him - no no i am not a slave .... that means i am a doormat!!!

he said oh yes you are girl... go read and you will feel....

and guess what - i did and i am proud!

hugs
xx

_____________________________

let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 3

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 5:27:28 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you sunshine miss for replying.
I beginning to understand that peace myself.:)
oceanwynds

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 4

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 5:29:17 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you littlemissnarf
Yes, the doormat is what tripped me up for a long time. Yet i do not feel like a doormat with Sir. It is an honor within me to serve him completely.

(in reply to littlemisssnarf)

Post #: 5

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 5:48:35 PM

suessub

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline

This past weekend, listening to a talk by Jack McGeorge discussing M/s, he stated it in a way that made some sense to me. A slave is always a slave, but a submissive is that episodically. I do not want the choice of whether I am to serve my Domina tonight or not. More than that, I want to learn to truly find my pleasure in her desires, to let her be the guide of our journey.

I do not long to be a blank marshmallow, just waiting for her explicit command. I love when I am told how something should be, how she expects the hotel room when she arrives. Then I get to figure out the details and run around purchasing what is needed. For then I have the opportunity to be creative and in the end to make her happy.

Another part of this has to do with eradicating a lifetime of internal fantasy based wants and desires in me. Like most, when I first came to playing, I was centered on what I wanted done to me. That was natural, what else did I know? But now, that feels so wrong, 'topping from the bottom', robbing her of her domination. My satisfaction is greatest when I make no demands, instead trusting her to know what we need. Not that she does not ask and explore with me. In the end, she does as she wants, as do I (do as she wants). And I get lost in it, I find calm and safe. I curl up at her feet, rest my head on her thigh and she strokes what is left of my hair. I do not have to worry about stepping back to the old roles. Well, only as much as the rest of life demands it. But our time at the end of the evening doesn't start with her asking 'are you in the mood?' or me saying 'you know what would be fun?'

ok, I'll stop rambling now. oceanwynds, thank you for the question. It is exactly what has been on my mind all day, hence the ramble as I try to figure out why think I am changing from a submissive to slave.

_____________________________

"Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won by standing in any one place for too long "
- Nick Cave

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 6

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 6:07:34 PM

Barelily

Posts: 96
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline

lol that question doesn't seem to be able to be answered anymore, look on the boards and you'll see all sorts of answers.
There used to be a clearer difference, now there doesn't seem to be except that most Dom's like the word slave more then sub

For me personally, I've decided since theres no real definition anymore that I'll submit until the trust is built, then I'm his slave

quote:

a submissive is that episodically. I do not want the choice of whether I am to serve my Domina tonight or not.

Being a 24/7 sub does not mean you decide when your going to submit, at one time it only meant you had a few more options going in, but now slaves do also, so it's all moot really lol

Disclaimer: This post was made in response to the post made by oceanwynds and is based on my opinion and experiences only.

_____________________________

"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that that take your breath away."

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 7

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 6:17:07 PM

donnaamarie

Posts: 335
Joined: 9/7/2007
Status: offline

hi oceanwynds,

I think that most of the time it is the man who determines the level of submissiveness. I could not be a slave to all men, perhaps not another man, but with my Master it is by far the most normal and comfortable state for me to be in.

donna

_____________________________

Life is not about waiting for storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 8

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 6:41:49 PM

stardancer00

Posts: 60
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

hello oceanwynds...

you said it is an honor within you to serve him completely. That is all you need to know, really. That level of service goes beyond definition and labeling. It is what happens between you and him, and you have said it perfectly.

sky

(in reply to donnaamarie)

Post #: 9

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 7:04:35 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

How did you come to realize you were more of a slave then a submissive?

My Owner told me I was her slave. That pretty much changed it for me.

DV's Fox

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 10

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 7:22:46 PM

Lilith13

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/2/2008
From: Takoma Park, Maryland
Status: offline

For me, expanding from submission to slavery was about expanding the power difference. I found that our power difference had to be so big that it couldn’t be turned on and off just for sex sessions. We had to live it.

_____________________________

Feels so good, it must be wrong.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 11

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/7/2008 9:40:52 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

i too equated slave with doormat, and cringed when He first referred to me as His slave. Then as we talked, and got to know one another, i realized that He did not want me to be a doormat, and to express my opinions and be myself. It slowly dawned on me that He knew i would do anything (within my discussed limits) for Him and that i did indeed have "slave tendencies" - i like to do things for Him. Now, when He refers to me as "My slave girl" i am proud to be such.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to Lilith13)

Post #: 12

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 7:29:58 AM

HisPrincess05

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stardancer00

hello oceanwynds...

you said it is an honor within you to serve him completely. That is all you need to know, really. That level of service goes beyond definition and labeling. It is what happens between you and him, and you have said it perfectly.

sky

I totally agree... "it's an honor within" to serve my Master. Regardless if he calls me his submissive or his slave I know that he owns everybit of my being- my heart, my body, my mind and my soul. For him I am a complete total woman.

princess

(in reply to stardancer00)

Post #: 13

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 8:20:35 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Hi all,

I've never been submissive, i went from having no clue and definitely not submissive in nature or loving to serve or please (actually, i was plenty served and pleased by the guys in my life -- not in the BDSM Mistress way, but just utilizing my femaleness) to being a slave through a Man's determination of how i will exist in his life not my determination. He created this by mastering me and enslaving me and those two actions of him created the reactions of the slave in me and the slave to be compelled to emerge. His will was stronger than my own. One of my favorit sayings is "His will is such I can only be what naturally compels me." To me, slave is reactionary not actionary, and because of same needs a catalyst to naturally occur. Its a natural state within. It has nothing to me to do with being submissive nature, as i am very dominant in nature. What i mean by this is what a person does is not what makes her a slave, a woman does not make herself a slave but her reactions to the Man, and his mastery and enslavement of her is what makes her slave. Reactions to me is what the slave within is about. In my opinion, discovering her has to be explored with the catalyst of what causes her reactions. I tell many women who are learning slavery to learn to recognize, embrace and listen to her reactions. To allow her instincts to release her from her mind. Slave is not to me a thinking thing, its a reaction thing. The slave within is a natural reaction to a Man who has determined to master and enslave, the slavery is what a woman does when she is mastered and enslaved to serve and please the man who owns her.

Good luck, its a fun, frustrating, exasperating, and yes at times a very pissed off emtion to come to terms with. But trust your reactions and instincts with the Man who has determined to master you. Don't try and force what you believe should be the correct way to react or respond (that's the thinking thing). Just respond and go with your instincts and allow the reactions to free you to place yourself in his mastery and the enslavement will secure you.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 11/8/2008 8:23:40 AM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to HisPrincess05)

Post #: 14

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 8:49:34 AM

LydiaSciKitten

Posts: 43
Joined: 10/16/2008
From: Luxembourg, now in UK
Status: offline

It is very simple really. If you feel that every inch of you belongs to Him at all times, this inch being physical, mental or emotional, and that you want to completely surrender your self to him, then you clearly identify better as a slave than as a submissive. If you just have the need to submit to Him, but don't feel you are absolutely overwhelmed by Him at all times, the you are a submissive. I myself identify Him better as Master than as Dom, but I am myself a little bit of an inbetweenie. Because our lives also have a very strong non-BDSM element, and we both have very strong and stand-on-our-own-feet personalities, slave rings very strange to us. Completely unpleasant even. But then again, it's not like one can help how they feel.

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 15

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 8:53:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

See the "problem?" Each persons journey is unique. You can't define the journey into slavery without defining slavery. Since everyone's "end point" is different, their journey will be as well.

Not that there isn't a lot to be mined from it, just understand that each and every persons definition can be countered by an equal and opposite definition. That doesn't negate anything, it just adds to the pile.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LydiaSciKitten)

Post #: 16

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 9:01:43 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Yes, I was aware of this happening Lucky Albatross
Just was curiours about how they got there, and didn't expect to find a recipe for it. For me it isn't because Sir told me I am a slave. For me it is more of a personal feeling that I am exploring now.

I do appreciate everyone replying what their journey was. Though I might not have had the same experience, I find it all interesting.

oceanwynds

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 17

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 10:01:49 AM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

I'm still on that path. My master calls me his slave and sometimes I appreciate it. Other times I can't handle it. I'm not sure where I fall yet. I'm definitely the one that submits to my master... but how much and under what terms are still being negotiated. Maybe they always will be.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 18

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 10:30:53 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stardancer00

hello oceanwynds...

you said it is an honor within you to serve him completely. That is all you need to know, really. That level of service goes beyond definition and labeling. It is what happens between you and him, and you have said it perfectly.

sky

Thank you Sky for your remark. It is a part of my heart. Not saying it is better or not to be a submissive or a slave, just viewing where my head is at this time.
oceanwynds

(in reply to stardancer00)

Post #: 19

RE: Discovering the slave within - 11/8/2008 10:33:19 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Hi all,

I've never been submissive, i went from having no clue and definitely not submissive in nature or loving to serve or please (actually, i was plenty served and pleased by the guys in my life -- not in the BDSM Mistress way, but just utilizing my femaleness) to being a slave through a Man's determination of how i will exist in his life not my determination. He created this by mastering me and enslaving me and those two actions of him created the reactions of the slave in me and the slave to be compelled to emerge. His will was stronger than my own. One of my favorit sayings is "His will is such I can only be what naturally compels me." To me, slave is reactionary not actionary, and because of same needs a catalyst to naturally occur. Its a natural state within. It has nothing to me to do with being submissive nature, as i am very dominant in nature. What i mean by this is what a person does is not what makes her a slave, a woman does not make herself a slave but her reactions to the Man, and his mastery and enslavement of her is what makes her slave. Reactions to me is what the slave within is about. In my opinion, discovering her has to be explored with the catalyst of what causes her reactions. I tell many women who are learning slavery to learn to recognize, embrace and listen to her reactions. To allow her instincts to release her from her mind. Slave is not to me a thinking thing, its a reaction thing. The slave within is a natural reaction to a Man who has determined to master and enslave, the slavery is what a woman does when she is mastered and enslaved to serve and please the man who owns her.

Good luck, its a fun, frustrating, exasperating, and yes at times a very pissed off emtion to come to terms with. But trust your reactions and instincts with the Man who has determined to master you. Don't try and force what you believe should be the correct way to react or respond (that's the thinking thing). Just respond and go with your instincts and allow the reactions to free you to place yourself in his mastery and the enslavement will secure you.

angel

Thank you for the advice angel
I will meditate on it for sure.
oceanwynds

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 20

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