RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants?

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:18:16 PM

ResidentSadist

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yes

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:22:38 PM

RumpusParable

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Both of my current regular subs/bottoms are more than 20 years older than me. The third, occasional play-bottom is 6 years older.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 11/9/2008 7:23:09 PM >

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:23:04 PM

Eliana

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Thanks for all your interesting replies so far, appreciate your thoughts.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:25:27 PM

lilmisssubmiss

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me myself wouldn't mind an older guy..more expierenced and mature...
but my friends and family definitly would put me through hell for it i deem it's not worth it right now.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:31:12 PM

Padriag

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Ya cute lil tease, you.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:33:34 PM

Maya2001

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I've always liked older men. I get a lot of Cmail from men in their 20's and it doesn't interest me in the least. Of course, the older I get, the narrow the margin between my age and 'the older guys' since I do rather like them to be umm.....breathing.

LOL I am pretty the same , when I was younger my preference was for older males at least 10 or more years older,,, now I want close to my age ..those 10 years plus are suddenly mostly appearing too old.. and now find my preference range to be 5 years younger to 7 years older ... but yes like you I get lots of 20 to 30 year olds cmailing me being most are my sons age or younger they have no appeal to me

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 7:39:48 PM

greeneyedreamer

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I think like many have said, it's all about personal preference and the maturity level of everyone involved. I have met men my own age who were very immature and acted/thought younger than guys 10 years younger. It's all about maturity and personal preference. I have a Dom my own age now and I adore him.
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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 8:52:27 PM

ResidentSadist

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BDSM, vanilla or otherwise, the “old bulls” will always have an appeal. I am 53 and since Aug 1st when I started dating again, I aquired a collection of lovers that are 18, 22, 24 and 49 years old. Some kinky vanilla, some BDSM. Young girls like stronger older men.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 12:41:35 AM

JustDarkness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

me myself wouldn't mind an older guy..more expierenced and mature...
but my friends and family definitly would put me through hell for it i deem it's not worth it right now.

mm yes. I had that....well they never told me..but they mentioned it to her.
Can be hard.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 6:28:12 AM

antipode

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quote:

friends and family definitly would put me through hell for it

If you were to invite them for brunch on the yacht you spend the weekends on they'd probably come around... *grin*

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 6:48:44 AM

antipode

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I'll never forget the young (20) European sub at my house that went to answer the door, and I heard from the other side of the house she was talking to one of these kids taking part in a magazine selling scam, something she of course knew nothing about. I went over, interrupted his pitch, and told him to piss off, and as he turned around, he said: "You know, Sir, your daughter is much nicer than you are".

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 7:15:59 AM

SimplyMichael

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I like to be attracted to them but that attraction can come from many things as long as there is a basic underlying personality match. They have to be happy, interested in the world around them, have a natural air of confidence, but the rest is negotiable.

I have been in love with very big women, young women, and even older women, in lust with many more. Young women TEND to be less interesting because we don't share the same experiences but going to a California university I do tend to meet those sort of girls who are 20 going on 35 and they can be quite interesting. I am seeing someone now who keeps telling me she is much older although I can't tell and don't really care about her age. I guess as long as they make both brains happy, we are good to go.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 7:22:31 AM

Surata

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Personally, I prefer a young soul in an older body and an old soul in a younger body. I've always been attracted to the contradictions in a person.....

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 8:00:15 AM

MrRodgers

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Eliana

I've noticed one feature of the BDSM world is older Dominants often seeking submissives or slaves who are considerably younger than them (for relationships, not just play). I've also noticed - with all respect - a lot of them seem to have been looking a very long time without apparent success. This leads me to ponder - how realistic are they being?

I've observed these days that not only do a lot of the younger women clearly want men who are also younger, but in recent years a lot of the OLDER women also want - and get - men much younger than themselves. There seems to be a feeling that the younger men don't have the "old attitudes" which is to say they don't generally display the chauvinistic attitudes which tend to be more prevalent in the older generations, and that young men make them much happier.

I'm generalising here of course and not suggesting by any means there are not many very desirable older men, nor that they all have sexist outlooks, but realistically how many older men are really going to attract women half their age, except maybe for the odd few?

It would also be interesting to hear why some of them do or would prefer younger women.

Thanks!

It is my observation during all of these years that younger women want a secure, safe, mature man who has taken life every bit as seriously as his sub/slaves and kinky and fetish/sexual needs.

Not painting a broad brush here but many have told me that they tire quickly of the young chest-thumping bad boys, or guys named Joe with a gift of gab and the 6 pack abs. They go too far in thinking the world revolves around only them.

Among other qualities like job, house surroundings etc., the daddydom or older master is just having a very good time and let relationships evolve for themselves. Nothing to prove, nothing to hide (hopefully) and seeks mostly the sincere young potential sub/slaves..

I know a 19 yr old. (at the time) through my work whose 'daddy' was 60. She told me she didn't think she could be happier. Told me she had the best of all worlds.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 9:08:47 AM

akisha

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~FR~

Like others have said I look at compatibility not age. I've dated people 17 years older to 5 years younger. I don't often go for younger people for the reason that I'm not very old myself and going alot younger i just find that compatability is just not there.

My Dom is 4.5 years older.

After I had my minikid, i lost alot of interest in dating anyone over 10 years older then myself, the reason for that being was I was looking for a life partner not a play partner and and having a very young person in the home I felt someone closer to my own age would be better. Just a personal opinion on that, because most the guys older that I talked to had grandchildren the age of my daughter. Just felt.... odd for me.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 11:37:06 AM

CreativeDominant

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My first submissive was 19 years younger than I was. My second submissive was 8 yrs younger. My third submissive was 2 yrs younger, same as my ex-wife. I've spoken with submissives that are 39 to my 53 and with submissives that are 51 to my 53. I would not want to deal with one in her 20s anymore except for play but I don't want to deal with one older than myself as most of the ones I've met that are older tend to have this "mothering/bossing" instinct that comes out and I don't want/need it. I want to be cared for, not taken care of.

I think one reason that many dominants in their 40's, 50s, 60s go for submissives 10-20 years younger is that there are an awful lot ...though please note that I did not say all or even a majority...of submissive women in their 40s-50s whose primary interest seems to be the relationship to be formed with less interest in the dynamic and/or the BDSM and/or the sex. Speaking only for myself, the dynamic and the BDSM and the sexuality are a huge part of what I seek. If I wanted someone just to be in a relationship with in which we occasionally fuck, I'd have stayed married to my wife. Been there, done that.
Another reason is, as others have noted, a jaded and/or cynical attitude towards many things with an underlying attitude of "I already know that". This can come off as being so very excited when they are telling you about what happened to them at the latest play party or what one of their friends is doing and then, when you begin to discuss what you'd like to do with them or to them or worse yet, carry on just a normal conversation, their excitement level drops noticeably. Tis like it is the immediacy they have to have to maintain excitement.
Finally...you reach the ones who have done it all so much that they are just bored or judgmental about your technique or no longer wish to do what you might be interested in because they've tried it. Though some would say that this is just incompatibility...and may be right...I can't help thinking that "you know, I've tried a lot in my 53 years and there's a lot I haven't tried. I've yet to lose interest in too many things." Outlook? Being willing to give something another chance to see if it might be different because of the partner?

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 11/10/2008 11:48:17 AM >

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 1:19:50 PM

softhearted

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When I was (much) younger I almost always was attracted to older men. When I hit my 40s, though, I started being attracted to ones my age. Now that I'm on the other side of 50, though, I'd much prefer a Don my age or younger. A lot of that is because I'm old enough to be thinking the "rest of my life" stuff and, as noted above, older woman/younger man makes more sense long-term. (Seeing my mother having to take care of my not-altogether- there older husband doesn't help either.

)

I really wish I had started in the BDSM world in my 30s rather than a few years ago. It seems that 30- somethings get the attention of every Dom in the area, 50-somethings not so much. And I wonder why the occasional 40-something Dom who writes to me would want someone older. Not that I'm not wonderful and a great catch, of course!

quote:

There are an awful lot ...though please note that I did not say all or even a majority...of submissive women in their 40s-50s whose primary interest seems to be the relationship to be formed with less interest in the dynamic and/or the BDSM and/or the sex

Can't I have both? Please?

< Message edited by softhearted -- 11/10/2008 1:22:03 PM >

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 4:05:08 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softhearted

When I was (much) younger I almost always was attracted to older men. When I hit my 40s, though, I started being attracted to ones my age. Now that I'm on the other side of 50, though, I'd much prefer a Don my age or younger. A lot of that is because I'm old enough to be thinking the "rest of my life" stuff and, as noted above, older woman/younger man makes more sense long-term. (Seeing my mother having to take care of my not-altogether- there older husband doesn't help either. )

I really wish I had started in the BDSM world in my 30s rather than a few years ago. It seems that 30- somethings get the attention of every Dom in the area, 50-somethings not so much. And I wonder why the occasional 40-something Dom who writes to me would want someone older. Not that I'm not wonderful and a great catch, of course!

quote:

There are an awful lot ...though please note that I did not say all or even a majority...of submissive women in their 40s-50s whose primary interest seems to be the relationship to be formed with less interest in the dynamic and/or the BDSM and/or the sex

Can't I have both? Please?

Sure you can have both...~quiet smile~. And as I noted in my first post, it is certainly not all women past the age of 40 or so who've lost their interest in sexuality. A great many have though or have slowed down. The problem with that, for many older dominants such as myself, we've been there and done that with wives or girlfriends who acted as if we should be "past all that". Guess what? We aren't.
I've met several submissive women close to my age who get that...and whose sexuality matches my own so I know that they are out there...just not in as great a supply as the younger ones.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 8:56:28 PM

Midnght

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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i need a certain level of dependability, responsibility, accountability in my man. i find this to be more prevalent in the age group in which i look. i have always been attracted to men in their late 40's to mid 50s. Its simply my personal taste. When i was in my 20's i was still looking for the same qualities that i am now as i approach 40. Men in their 40's access a certain amount of insight and a degree of understanding of how a woman works, emotionally and physically. There are always exceptions to every "rule".

Hey now no fair talking about me without letting me know about it. }:>P

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/10/2008 9:35:08 PM

persephonee

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dont you have vitally important computery type work to do Sir?....i wouldnt want to interrupt with my babbling...:)

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