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RE: 'Online training' - 11/10/2008 6:48:43 AM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

My question regarding on-line training is how do you know a submissive is doing what you tell them to do? Really how can you know?

I would guess unless your seeing it on cam, you can't. You would have to develop some form of blind trust.
I am of the opinion unless you have developed trust, and communication ( and yes I feel these can only be developed in person, not typing about it) that you have no obligations or growth.
As for the 5 basic slave positions (mentioned in above post).....I must have missed that day at "domschool".
I would never consider someone I have never met to be my slave... perhaps I am simply too old fashioned for cyber BDSM, I prefer to teach people my prefrences, desires, wants or needs in person, not type about them. I prefer to get to know someone in person, and grow with them, before I feel the desire to offer them a place in my life.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/13/2008 1:26:40 PM

subintrainingnc

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i was thinking this same thing, i am contacted a lot by Doms just stating "would you be up for online training" and that is all they say in their initial email. i just don't see the point, i guess if i am a closet sub never wanting to meet a Dom in person maybe.. but to me it is just a guy getting off on giving orders and getting off..

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/13/2008 1:31:41 PM

StrtbkNamdDesire

Posts: 53
Joined: 11/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

My question regarding on-line training is how do you know a submissive is doing what you tell them to do? Really how can you know?

photographic evidence? :) this may be alright for some, but for me any online relationship that isn't a precursor to something real & tangible is just another way for people to be isolated and atomized individuals in a post-technocratic world. it's depressing.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/13/2008 1:34:45 PM

daddysliloneds

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i can see online training working for a number of things, such as developing job skills or getting a degree. for me personally, the idea of online training when it comes to a relationship is hysterical!

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/13/2008 4:11:23 PM

antipode

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Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

Really how can you know

You don't. Then I have never cybered, but my guess would be it doesn't really matter, it is all in the mind. I do know that vast rivers of kids, young 'uns that either still live at home, or are locked in a dorm room, practice this stuff, and of course they have little other recourse. Most will eventually grow out of that, but I understand that some grow up with this as a real addiction.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 12:58:54 AM

masterforRT

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I currently train a submissive 100% via email. I assign her tasks, she does the tasks and then she writes me back about how the tasks have affected her. The time she takes to write and the thoughtfulness she puts into her writing-well let's say if she's faking it, then she's putting a ton of effort into faking it.

Email training doesn't work for everyone, but in this case (and several others I have been involved in) it works well.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 6:58:44 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subintrainingnc

i was thinking this same thing, i am contacted a lot by Doms just stating "would you be up for online training" and that is all they say in their initial email. i just don't see the point, i guess if i am a closet sub never wanting to meet a Dom in person maybe.. but to me it is just a guy getting off on giving orders and getting off..

I get those, but not as much on this profile. I always ask them what exactly they think they can train me to do online and they never respond back.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 9:34:37 AM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

If you've been into BDSM for years and years, surely you know enough people in real time that you don't have to waste your time with the online stuff. I can't imagine that online would be very satisfying to anyone who has been doing it in full living color for years.

Okay, so what if people relocate? And what if they relocate internationally or across a continent?

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 10:19:03 AM

antipode

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quote:

Email training doesn't work for everyone, but in this case (and several others I have been involved in) it works well.

Umm, works well to what end? What do you get out of it? It replaces other activities in your life, one assumes, I head outdoors and do stuff that is fun and has some purpose to it.

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Post #: 29

RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 10:21:05 AM

antipode

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quote:

Okay, so what if people relocate? And what if they relocate internationally or across a continent?

That applies to all manner of human relationships - but I can't say I hear frequently that people have online marriages, or start online families, or do the laundry together online.

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RE: 'Online training' - 11/14/2008 11:10:25 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

My question regarding on-line training is how do you know a submissive is doing what you tell them to do? Really how can you know?

As MasterforRT mentions, part of the task would have to involve writing.
Sometimes, just having someone imagine something can be effective, and when they describe it in writing, that is proof that they have imagined it, at least enough to write something about it.

I had a long correspondence with a sub once before we ever met. We even put off meeting for a little while longer because we were enjoying the "mystery", if you will, of not knowing exactly who we were speaking to. I wouldn't describe it as "online training", exactly, but occasionally I would ask her to do things. Usually just very simple things like observing something in particular where-ever she was at some point in her day and making a note of it, or thought experiments, like having her imagine attempting to pick up a stranger she saw on the train during her commute home from work, or something like that. Those could be funny, but they would sometimes lead to serious ideas around the edges that were interesting to talk about.

Not training, perhaps, so much as simple little tasks to think and write a paragraph about.

We kept it light and had fun with it, but I think it laid a nice basis for getting to know one another a little bit before we actually met in person.

Edited to add; so, I think I can see how online could have some potential, but my experience is not the traditional, I don't suppose. I'd be curious to know how others approach it.

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 11/14/2008 11:12:19 AM >

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