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stella41b -> RE: Online Stalking and Harassment (11/11/2008 7:42:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
This is all very sad. A person took the time to jot a few suggestions down to share with this community and quite a few of you reacted with hostility. I highly doubt the author sat down snickering and haughty, thinking of coy little ways to indirectly insult us all.
Agreed this is sad, but are we really talking about hostility or being critical? While I have no doubt that the OP had good intentions unfortunately it isn't a given that when you start a thread on a new topic everyone posting to that thread is going to agree with you.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
Is there a justifiable reason that the responses were negative instead of helpful?
Moot point would be to say the tone was dictatorial, but it was certainly one of 'what you should do'. Nobody here needs telling what they 'should' do, far better when giving unsolicited advice is to use the verb 'could'. Another thing is online harrassment and stalking is a very serious and complex issue which can have very serious consequences and contrary to what the OP may believe it isn't usually something you can prevent. The word scaremongering is perhaps too strong, but there was a negative tone in the OP which some people might have picked up on.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
At what point could those of you hostile respondents not have replied with:
"While I appreciate the good intention of this post, I must agree to disagree. I found that xyz worked much better. Have you considered them?"
Don't you think that 'hostile' here is a little too strong? Thank you for the suggestion in what to think and post but I'm quite happy with my previous posting on this thread.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
Where has civility gone?
As an example, would you care to go back to my posting and point out where I was being less than civil? Part of civility is allowing people to express themselves freely. I just thought I might point that out.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
Ours is a very stigmatized and feared group. We should be working on building each other up, not tearing each other down.
I agree with the first statement though I don't quite understand the reason for partisanship, another common problem on these boards, and the need to take sides in a matter so trivial as whether posters on a thread agree with the OP or not. Discussion of an issue does involve disagreement and it is this disagreement which promotes learning and perhaps a better understanding of a given issue. However the mind needs to be open.
But coming back to the first point this is a public message board and it cannot be ruled out that someone, either now or in the future could be looking for this thread experiencing harrassment or problems due to stalking, the threat they face could be very real and they could be in a position of grave danger. Consider that many of the preventative measures given in the OP may not apply or the situation might have progressed further than that.
Let's not forget we are dealing with an issue where every year thousands of women are beaten, maimed, raped and even killed not to mention those, who along with members of the LGBT community might be living in fear. In most cases especially when it comes to women the abuser gave no outward signs that he was or could be abusive. So tell me, how does the advice given in the OP deal with that situation?
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHeather666
So, OP, I hope you will not mind if I try to restart your post again. Though it is impossible to please everyone, your post could have been written in a more open and collaborative manner.
Please feel free. You probably won't please everybody but surely agreeing to disagree and to learn from such agreements is part and parcel of what taking part in these messageboards is all about.
But to continue with the thread....
Online stalking is an unfortunate experience for many people on the internet and here on Collarme. For those reading this post, what are your experiences? How did the situation finally end? What recommendations and advice could you share with us all?
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