RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people?

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RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/24/2008 9:47:25 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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As with most dysfunctional families, we all here on CM have our good moments of rallying around the hard times of some.And we have moments where we can be at each others throats about an issue, a stance, or an opinion (usually a good fire extinguisher called Mod 11 comes into the fray)..but then the following week said battlers will be agreeing wholeheartedly with one another..The maso in me can appreciate a mental slap down if done in a well thought out clever manner, and the voyeur portion of me likes to sit back and watch the sparks fly and the sadistic part of me loves to give a slap or 2 back if I can also deliver in a clever manner..You just got to love those AHHAA!!! moments..:0)...enjoy the ride..but never expect predicatable civility in any....Tempting

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Post #: 41

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 12:44:10 AM

oddjobbery

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

nope. this is, in effect, one step closer to real life than any of the other boards you've been on, because being rude on here means you get ignored/shitted on for the rest of your collarme tenure. I would guess that the boards are similar on most vanilla dating sites, as well.

(in reply to Eliana)

Post #: 42

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 1:06:27 AM

sexisubi

Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

0.0 They have active boards on nilla dating sites? really! thats kinda funny actually...

i guess it makes sense though... everyone is always trying to get into the other sex's head.

even though i think of Collarme as more of a networking site too... kinda gets you in tune with people who possible share your deep seeded secret or maybe just share your lifestyle.

(in reply to oddjobbery)

Post #: 43

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 6:22:33 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

Dualism in thinking is good for making comparative choices but when you are stuck with dualism as a thought process when it comes to people in general I generally find you are on a slippery slope.

Dualism is 'us' and 'them', black and white, male and female, fat and thin, old and young, dominant and submissive, beautiful and ugly, rich and poor, kind and cruel, active and passive, kinky and vanilla, positive and negative, and so on.

It's a simplistic view of looking at people and the world. When you ascribe yourself the 'we' label to include people you perceive to be like you, you invariably also create a 'them' label for people you have decided don't meet your criteria.

Pride in BDSM? Okay, so how about white pride? Gay pride? Black pride? Why create the unnecessary division? Don't you think that there are too many problems in this world today caused by such thinking?

I'm sorry but I don't see this. I just see people. Different people, each and every one of them just like me, an individual.

Yes people tend to be more civil and 'cultured' with me, irrespective of whether they are interested in BDSM or not.

Recognizing that each and every person is like me, an individual, I go out of my way to emphasize this, and to treat them in a way which I feel is like no other way they are being treated, I treat them in my own individual way, and make it a point to treat them for who they really are - an individual. Most people recognize this and respond accordingly, being of a similar mindset. Some don't, but these people I find are generally not worthy of comment. It's better to move on and find someone with whom you can share much more positive relations. It's not a given that I am among like-minded people here, and it's not a given that everyone here will like me. I can but try, whether I succeed or fail, all I can do is try.

Why do I do this? For a pat on the back?

No. I do this to make others and myself happy, and simply to be able to feel comfortable when I see myself in a mirror every day. That's enough for me.

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(in reply to Eliana)

Post #: 44

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 6:42:37 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sofiasslave

It would seem to be a sad fact. I have been on this site for 2 days, and already had that notion wiped from my mind. WHile when I meet people involved in all different aspects of BDSM in RL, through bparties, munches, whatever, your statement seems true. Contrary to the "vanilla"notion that these people would be something else, I usually find these people to be really nice, understanding, intelligent, loving people. On this board on the other hand, the most vocal are insulting, close minded(their kink is okay, yours is sick), and downright cold. My guess is this is a combination of a few things, none of which being more prevalent than a lack of feeling good about their own wants and desires. In short, sad.

You've obviously got a totally different comprehension of reading than I do. I've gotten to know some really awesome people on here. Many of whom have posted on this thread.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/25/2008 6:43:29 AM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Sofiasslave)

Post #: 45

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 6:47:55 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

BDSMers are no different then nonBDSMers. People are people and whether or not someone is kinky has no bearing on their manners. I've seen it online and off. There are good people and assholes in every walk of life, every culture and subculture. Trust me, it's no different.

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 46

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 7:01:01 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

On this site, I see a lot of just bluntness called being mean and nasty. I think that's very sad. A lot of people get called rude and cruel when they aren't being so at all and usually it's because their reply wasn't what the poster wanted to "hear".

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Deviant Mind
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(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 47

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 7:25:54 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

Gahd dammit...

Theres going to be a very simple truth here, people who are into bdsm are just that, people. And just like any other bunch of people who have different intrests theres going to be the typical ratios of assholes, dicks, Charity givers, bastards, asskissers, asskickers, badasses, pussies, devils, saints, friends, enemies, lifemates, soulmates, horny fuckers, nerds, twerps, retards, assclowns, heroes, idiots, prudes, bible thumpers, bible haters and those really fucked up people who watch Scrubs and actually like it.

To ask if BDSMers are any better or more civil or can eat peanut butter more effeciently is pointless, the same question could pertain to people who are into martial arts or a a bunch of carpenters or the fucking Celine Dion fanclub. We're all people and we're all going to have the same kind of attributes, debates and conflicts most people everywhere have regardless of what our little interests are.

fuck...I need coffee.

-D the T

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(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 48

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 7:57:15 AM

Lordi71

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline

unfortunatly there are idots in any internet forums. That said the BDSM scene does seem to be more polite, once you delete the trolls etc...

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 49

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 11:19:03 AM

oddjobbery

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

dualism is the default western mode of thinking, and has been for upwards of 3000 years. asking people to change in a minute, a day, a year, or even a century is far too much. For the foreseeable future, the West (and, to tell the truth, much of the world these days. what imperialism did in a century is amazing) will see black and white. Calling it a simplistic view is to call Aristotle simplistic - to call Homer simplistic - to call Kierkegaard simplistic. It's not simple - it's basic to an understanding of the Western mind.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 50

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 12:58:53 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oddjobbery

dualism is the default western mode of thinking, and has been for upwards of 3000 years. asking people to change in a minute, a day, a year, or even a century is far too much. For the foreseeable future, the West (and, to tell the truth, much of the world these days. what imperialism did in a century is amazing) will see black and white. Calling it a simplistic view is to call Aristotle simplistic - to call Homer simplistic - to call Kierkegaard simplistic. It's not simple - it's basic to an understanding of the Western mind.

Wow. Have you actually read those guys, or did you decide you could pontificate without consequences because this is the "prove we can be nice to one another" thread?

The Greek philosophical tradition was a dialectical one. The root of that word is "dialego," which referred to the dialogues the Sophists had, which were the predecessors of Plato's "Socratic" dialogues. The idea of dialectic is to achieve a higher truth through the struggle between -- and the weighing of -- seemingly opposite points of view, by discovering the facets of a larger truth those points of view illuminate. This notion of achieving purity and truth through unification (not duality) permeates Aristotelean metaphysics, and, for example, a minor western religion that worships the Holy Trinity -- the Three Who Are One.

I won't smack you with Homer or Kirkegaard, because it would just be mean. But using big, humongous, cranial-capacity-sized words is not as impressive as using plain language that contains something called "content."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to oddjobbery)

Post #: 51

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 1:18:51 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Thank you Red, my sick sinuses, fever addled, brain just wasn't up to it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 52

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 1:38:46 PM

oddjobbery

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

Frankly, that was so rude I really don't feel like answering. Unfortunately, your ignorance of dualism really cannot go overlooked. The things you're mentioning (Christianity, Catholicism, Aristotle, UNITY, the holy trinity for christ's sake!) are basically the definition of dualism. The SEARCH for truth itself is the very basis of dualism! Dualism (based off of the root word duo, meaning two) refers to the play of binary opposites. Truth? Beauty? Two of the most generally used binary oppositions of ALL TIME. Unity? What, exactly, is Unity trying to avoid? Surely not it's binary opposite, disunity. The Church? The Church is often used as the example FOR the play of binary oppositions in our society - evil versus good, god versus satan, dead versus resurrected - And you're going to tell me Aristotle is not based in dualism? That all of western thought is not based in dualism? That the very church ethics Kierkegaard argued were not based entirely in dualism? As for Homer, don't make me laugh - surely you learned something in high school? You clearly don't read, you certainly don't publish, and your "opinions" (such that they are) are not fit for a high school general english class.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 53

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 1:43:19 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Thus proving that no, Virginia, we're not all that polite. We do however make a helluva lot of popcorn.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to oddjobbery)

Post #: 54

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 1:43:53 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am having a vision............

Someone will suffer greatly if they continue posting as they have so far.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to oddjobbery)

Post #: 55

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 2:10:11 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

OK, my take.
We as a group like enslaving people, we like to whip, beat, stick with needles, dunk in water, p** on, s**t on, hang, put in chains, dump hot wax on, ravish, carry off, punish, cbt, cut, fire, and all other sorts of activities.
That being said, some of my closest friends are here. But then, I have never claimed to be sane.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 56

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 2:10:20 PM

oddjobbery

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

not-so-veiled threat? i assume this is your contribution to the open, friendly BDSM community you were so proud of.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 57

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 2:17:52 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oddjobbery

not-so-veiled threat? i assume this is your contribution to the open, friendly BDSM community you were so proud of.

No, definately no threat. Just a prediction.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to oddjobbery)

Post #: 58

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 2:20:15 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am having a vision............

Someone will suffer greatly if they continue posting as they have so far.

No! Please don't hurt me!

Damn, I'm in a good mood right now. I "should" respond, I suppose, but I just can't bring myself to. The irony is that I'm adding the final section to a journal article right now. I had a rough six weeks, and some here know about that, but the holiday season looks fantastic, and I hope everyone is having as great a time as I am.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 59

RE: Are BDSMers a more civil group of people? - 11/25/2008 2:21:22 PM

oddjobbery

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

i wait with marked pause.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 60

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