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The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/11/2008 11:32:21 PM

shymetalsub

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I've always wondered what was up with the taboo of a femdom receiving anal from a submissive sexual partner. When properly done (going by what I've heard), anal barely hurts and can be extremely enjoyable. A woman can receive anal from the front or even go on top, it doesn't just have to involve some guy bending a lady over a table and spanking her during. Despite all this it still seems that most female doms just hate receiving. why is this?

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/11/2008 11:42:51 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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A lot of people have different feelings about different sexual acts, and associate them with dominance or submission, when in fact, no act is dominant or submissive in my opinion.

I don't enjoy it, and therefore don't do it, and no don't want to try because so and so is especially good at it. Knowing plenty about what makes me tick is kind of kool, and some things (and I ain't saying this is one of them), I don't need to try to know I won't like it. My derriere may only be enjoyed in ways that don't entail bis, cylindrical insertable things.

M

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 12:16:39 AM

MsLadySue

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"taboo of a femdom receiving anal from a submissive sexual partner"

I never heard about this taboo, appears someone tore a page out of my copy of the "Femdom Rule Book".

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 12:22:43 AM

FullfigRIMaam

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With all due respect, I don't think he's making it up. I've talked with, chat with, and dated submissive men who said no fem dom they had ever known, would perform fellatio, nor would they permit intercourse. So, if oral and plain old intercourse are out because they were considered submissive acts, I'd imagine receiving anal would be considered straight up heresy. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 11/12/2008 12:24:17 AM >

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 12:30:36 AM

colouredin

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Seeing as the strapon is often used as a demasculating tool as part of hummiliation etc it is no wonder that some Dominants wont do it, also as a female sub anal is used in a similar way to with male subs.

Anal is a taboo anyways that wont stop.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 12:40:34 AM

Usako

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I guess I missed the class that said a dominant woman is not to enjoy anal. I know I for one enjoy it and if I had a guy I trusted enough to engage in sex then it would be on the menu.

But then again, I don't think the "taboo" of anal is a femdom thing, I think it's a female thing. Even if anal didn't hurt at all (which it can if done wrong or if the woman is just over sensitive) a lot of women still wouldn't like it. I don't think it has to do with d/s so much as it's just...I dunno a woman thing. I don't get why more women don't like anal. I do know some do but it seems, if you ask, a lot do not. You often hear a lot of "ewws" if you ask about it, not to mention even some guys don't like it. The whole "out hole only" so if a woman has only been with guys that regard her backside as a poop shoot then she probably won't be open to anal...unless the right guy opens her, her mind I mean.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 12:41:52 AM

dreamerdreaming

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I LOVE anal! When the time is right I will have my slave service me this way. MMMmmmm....

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 1:42:28 AM

hopelesslyInvo

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it's a pretty common view for certain acts to inherently seem if not arguably be submissive or dominant in and of themselves, while this may not exactly be one of those such as being bound to a helpless degree, i think this is simply one of the ones that push too many buttons for dominants, but being penetrated in general is often something dominants will not let/have submissives do to them, being anal sex on top of that, the amount of people that will enjoy or even try it cannot be depended on.

if i found one that would want me to be a part of that experience with her, i'm sure i'd be quite ecstatic, curious, and interested to try something i never would have expected to, but there's a reason i never expected it.

i wasn't aware of it being a taboo though so much as just being a moot topic.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/12/2008 1:49:43 AM >

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 1:53:16 AM

malloves69

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my mistress allows me to do anal on her when shes in the mood

she says its my special treat when i do something that pleases her

gawd know she uses my ass on a weekly basis by her strapons and being fisted

doesnt happen that often but when it does it is mmmm mmmm good ...love cumming in her ass now that truly is a special thing

and yes we do have vanilla sex too

wish she could cum in my ass always wanted to feel that at least once just to see what it feels like with her strapons ...but oh well

love being fisted by her because its actually a part of her thats inside of me and yes cleanliness is mandatory

have fun mal ...the lady is amazing

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 3:59:31 AM

MsStarlett

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What Dommes do with their life partners and what they do with their subs are totally different ballparks. I do enjoy occasional anal sex with my husband. But I have only allowed one other man to do that, and he was also a longer, closer relationship. With a sub? No way. I don't even have vanilla sex with boy toys. That's not their function in my life.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 7:19:21 AM

darchChylde

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

But then again, I don't think the "taboo" of anal is a femdom thing, I think it's a female thing.

Geez, with comments like this i'm going to have to walk around swinging free *smirks* just so nobody thinks i'm a woman, almost everything about me points in that direction anyways. ROFLMAO, Ma'am has already told me i have the most estrogen in the family. My gosh, just because i listen when people talk to me, don't like sports and have pretty hair and long nails.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 7:51:46 AM

OttersSwim

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I view any penetration with my Lady as a privilege, and not in any way an act of submission on her part. This brings us closer. It is not about the act, it is about the authority. She has it, always. I am adult enough, and smart enough, to not interpret her desires for me to penetrate her as an act of submission on her part, nor to let any of that nonsense get in the way of our dynamic.

If ya don't like it, that is one thing...if you are threatened by it, that's another.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 8:03:14 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shymetalsub

I've always wondered what was up with the taboo of a femdom receiving anal from a submissive sexual partner. When properly done (going by what I've heard), anal barely hurts and can be extremely enjoyable. A woman can receive anal from the front or even go on top, it doesn't just have to involve some guy bending a lady over a table and spanking her during. Despite all this it still seems that most female doms just hate receiving. why is this?

I think anal sex by and large is still considered a very out-there sexual activity in most of American culture anyway. It's highly associated with gay men and consider how well they are viewed in general, are you really surprised?

Then there is it's association with bodily wastes and those necessary functions. A turn-off for many folks I"m sure.

You can add in the fact that there so many possibilities of sexual interaction that why are any of us surprised if one or two or even several are a turn-off or just don't do it for everyone.

I think expecting someone to enjoy or not enjoy any type of sexual activity simply because they are in one category or group is rather silly.

If an activity is really important to you then use that as one of your criteria when choosing a partner.

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 8:40:16 AM

Lashra

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It depends upon the Domme whether she likes it or not. I have never tried anal, but I do like it when my sub uses his tongue there. I guess for me its just the fact that a woman can barely feel anything there (so I've read) and only feels a fullness. To me unless its going to give me an orgasm or a wonderful feeling of relaxation, I'm really not interested.

He, on the other hand, loves anal and that is because men can feel whats going on back there. So I give it to him quite a bit.

~Lashra

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 8:44:04 AM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

It depends upon the Domme whether she likes it or not. I have never tried anal, but I do like it when my sub uses his tongue there. I guess for me its just the fact that a woman can barely feel anything there (so I've read) and only feels a fullness. To me unless its going to give me an orgasm or a wonderful feeling of relaxation, I'm really not interested.

He, on the other hand, loves anal and that is because men can feel whats going on back there. So I give it to him quite a bit.

~Lashra

Au contraire. Many women feel much "back there". Plus, just because I do not get an orgasm, does not mean it is not stimulating. i dont orgasm from doggie style either but that doesn't mean these positions don't pave the way for a bigger "POW".

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 10:42:50 AM

tasha_tart

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Many women don't wish to receive anal. So what? It's their choice.

It isn't some official femdom taboo.

Tasha

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 1:34:20 PM

LadyHibiscus

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If I want to have anal sex with my partner, then that's what's going to happen. I haven't done it in years, but you never know when the mood may strike. (here's to hoping that the mood strikes when someone else is in the room...)

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 2:01:50 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

What Dommes do with their life partners and what they do with their subs are totally different ballparks. I do enjoy occasional anal sex with my husband. But I have only allowed one other man to do that, and he was also a longer, closer relationship. With a sub? No way. I don't even have vanilla sex with boy toys. That's not their function in my life.

I pretty much agree with everything you said, but I simply don't care much for anal, it doesn't have to do with anything taboo, I also don't like marshmellows, just a personal preference. Would I be inclined to have anal sex, I would possibly do it with my partner but not with a sub, vanilla sex of any variation is something that doesn't have a place with subs (or toy boys or whatever you want to call them), that is just my personal view and in no way I would claim it is the "rule" - who enjoys a different approach, good for them, as Brian said "We are all individuals"

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 3:49:47 PM

DelilahDeb

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Point the first: distinguishing between a professional dominatrix and anyone else. Many (most? all?) professionals do not allow penetrative (any) sex with their clients, for reasons concerning the laws against prostitution (sexual services for pay) wherever they operate. That's a legal, professional, practical consideration, regardless of how silly the laws in question are.

Point the second: any domina may choose the ways in which she wishes (if at all) to be pleasured by any particular submissive. That's a matter for negotiation beforehand.

Point the third: some people cannot abide having the soles of their feet tickled, or even touched. Me, everything from tickling to a nice medium bastinado suits! Guess what? everyone is different. We all have a whole lot of nerve endings in the anus; only the Y-chromosomed have moderately direct access to a sexual organ (prostate gland) from inside the rectum. Us double-XX-ers have another entire muscle wall (vaginal wall) between anal stimulation and the rest of the goodies. So that may account, just possibly, for a tendency for women to prefer frontal stimulation to rear access stimulation. Maybe.

Finally, once upon a time, anal intercourse was the only sure-fire contraceptive (although vinegar sponges and herbal spermicides were also used). But we've got 1500-plus years of religio-cultural teachings that forbid non-procreative sex acts running throughout "Western" culture. Taboo? Hell, if you're Catholic, it's probably a mortal sin. (Handy to have those Anglicans around, ain't it?)

Me, I can tell you I don't allow it because it's an instant off switch for any sexual impulse I may be feeling! (Tried it, and I know.)

Lady Delilah Deb

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RE: The taboo of anal in femdom - 11/12/2008 3:55:02 PM

DiurnalVampire

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For many, the idea that anal sex is inherently submissive comes from the porn they have seen and the stories they read. I enjoy it on occasion. Not often, but when I do want it I expect to get it. The idea that the reciever is quite out of control is also one that is very prevalent, while not necessarily true. Like with any other act, WHAT it is is not nearly as important as HOW it is done.

DV

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