RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (Full Version)

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SugarKitten -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/12/2008 2:03:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monywildcat

Your idea of the night of pampering is a good one and may be very beneficial to help you relax and focus.  I second colouredin's idea of the lavender, very soothing.  So's vanilla, to me anyways.  And remember that first-time jitters are perfectly normal, you are in unchartered waters right now but I am sure everything will be just fine.  It can be incredibly hard to turn off the brain, and just feel, but it can be done.  Nay, it must be done, lest you fall into "analysis paralysis" and think things to death and then no one gets to have any fun.  Relax.  Deep breaths.  Trust in your Master and in yourself that everything will be okay.

And hey since you have this kitten mentality, would a bowl of warm milk help? [;)]


Warm milk + cinnamon = yes

:3

thanks for the advice! I think i'm just overthinking it instead of just letting it flow naturally :P like i know it should.

Master knows best. And besides i know that once i get into it i wont be able to stop. so maybe giving him this relaxation time is a good plan! [:D]



Aynne88 -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/12/2008 5:39:20 PM)

Sugar kitten,

Try googling GABA and 5 HTP. They are usually recommended to people with anxiety disorders or ADHD prior to going to a prescription med. My ex took them for years, he is the definition of high strung anxiety, and they really worked well. Cheap, homeopathic, highly regarded in the psychiatric community and you should find them in any health food store. Make sure you use caution as with anything, and you aren't taking any others med that might interact. Good luck.



azropedntied -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/12/2008 6:16:27 PM)

s~k > I too agree with many of the posts made here  for "you time ", perhaps an erotic massage  you could both rub each other and  enjoy .enjoy is the key word here  if your so wound up and nervous your not able to just let go and enjoy .Some nervous feelings and nerves are good , its how you deal with them .Try the meditations , try the essential oils and hot baths ,read a nice book , Do not think of how much time you have on your visa just enjoy what you have .The universe is giving back exactly what your asking and putting out .Example if you keep repeating nervous , nerves  that is what you shall get reinforcing it over and over gaining strength .But if you ask for calmness and bliss- happiness and enjoyment that shall come to you .Yes i know it really does  sound corny yet it works .



antipode -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/12/2008 6:17:09 PM)

quote:

Needless to say I'm a virgin.


Hmm. Well. Quite a story, lass.

My guess is that you wanted out of the rut you were stuck in, and chose to do it this way. So now you've got the shivers, but you came here, and to him, to do the real time thing. So go do it, the shivers are part of the initiation. Do what you came here to do, and stop blabberin' [8D]

There is nothing irrational about hyour fears, we've all been there, we've all had our first exposures, and you just have decided to go live dangerously. Cool, in my book, that's how I first ended up in London, never went home again. Kneel, offer your cherry, and get it over with.

Couple of comments.

There is a bunch of information about getting medical care on the NHS while traveling abroad. Go into the NHS database and find out. The Daily Telegraph has an excellent expat section, where a lot of this information is collated.

Secondly - do not overstay your visa, even by a day. Assuming you're here on a visa waiver entry, your visa is not convertible and not extensible, and if you overstay even by a day they won't let you get back in the country for years. All those rules have changed. If you majorly overstay you even jeopardize your eligibility for business visas, work visas etc. If necessary, you should head back to the UK, and apply for an artist's visa - that will give you a longer term visa that can be modified and extended.

Good luck. Stress all you want, but don't forget to have fun. And remember that condoms habitually tear when you're deflowered and there is an intact hymen, so make sure you're on the pill. Unless you want to start a family straight off....




theobserver -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/12/2008 9:42:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Kitten
I have no doubt your Master has good intentions.  However I do believe you are both unwise to even 'go there' at this time.  You should and do need counselling and professional assistance and as much as you may not want to be told this, the liklihood that you will 'recover' via a relationship is virtually nil.  You should have and should be getting professional assistance.
 
the.dark.


I agree.

I am a strong supporter of mental health therapy. I think in these situations people should seek it and utilize it (if they can afford it). It's one of the best services available to an individual going through something like this and passes along the skills and guidance needed to work through past trauma's and emotional issues.



SugarKitten -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/13/2008 9:25:59 AM)

 Aynne88
Thank you for the reference :3 i'll be sure to look it up and try some if the nerves dont dissapate soon. <3

azropedntied
:3 thank you for the advice, massages are something he always enjoys, i havent done any erotic ones yet, just the normal backrubs so that would be something to help us both i'm sure. I always wanted him to learn it on me too, because i carry a lot of tension in my shoulders all the time, and this would be a good way to help him too! 0:3 We both need to take some time to relax and "get to know each other" a little more, which i'm sure he wont argue with!

Antipode
Thanks for the wealth of advice there :3 And i like your bluntness, i'm the same way normally its just this is the one thing that knocks my usual brashness aside. To be honest i always felt like he shouldve just taken it when i was kneeling in the middle of a scene and be done with it, get it over with and then get on with having fun. The buildup of nerves, i think, is just that, excitement and nerves that cant be distinguished. I am, thankfully, on the pill and it was the first thing i sorted out medically before coming over to the states. I went to the US embassy in London to sort my visa out and upon arrival in the states i explained my situation, because i'm technically over here promoting a children's book i illustrated with his father, i was vanilla with my Master when they first spoke with me so that's what they see us as. Customs gave me a full six months, and the flight home had already been arranged and booked before departure anyways, and its a full 5 days before my visa runs out on my passport so no real worries there. I know that i'll be coming back here, and reapplying for the necessary visa, so its not like i'm never going to see him again its just all the necessary paperwork that needs to be done first that will get in the way. If the nervousness still prevails even after all of this then i shall look into the NHS care when i return home. Thanks again :3

Theobserver
Thanks for stopping by :3 if i cant get over these nerves by the time my visa runs out i'll be sure to have a look into it, if i need to.

Kitten
xxx





RealSub58 -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/13/2008 10:04:35 AM)

Some posters have given you great advice.When I ask for advice, 1) I either accept it and change my behaviour or thinking2) rationalize and or justify my own behaviour and thinking3) defend the one or thing I am seeking advice about. The 2 of you are very young! I was 27 yrs old when I didn't accept a proposal cause sex was not part of who I was at that time. It took another 6 yrs for me to figure out why sex and intimacy were such problems for me.... with a therapist. I am also going to say something which many will probably buck at as well as you.  A 19 yr old man is still a teenager and most 19-21 yr olds think they know it all.  He is not a "master" for he has not yet proven himself as a dom.   You want to belong to each other and have a commitment...do just that and have fun. Enjoy each other and don't push or you just might push each other away. 



antipode -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/13/2008 10:09:57 AM)

quote:

Customs gave me a full six months,


And you're on the pill. Excellent, you have the basics taken care of, smart girl, well done. Now get the depraved debauchery sorted and you'll never look back *smooch*

[:D]



kiwisub12 -> RE: Need help with getting over my nerves amongst other things! (11/13/2008 2:21:19 PM)

One thing you might remember is that the first time will probably be awkward - either with intercourse or bj's. It couldn't possibly be anything but - you are new to each other and "the act"!  Everyones first time is awkward, and shame on anyone who says otherwise! [:D]

just concentrate on your partner, react to his cues, and do what seems good or feels good or might be interesting. Don't aim for fireworks - look for fun and pleasure, and you will be fine. If it makes you feel better - when i met my Sir, i was about as anxious as i have ever been, and things were just fine.

Seems to   me that a massage is a perfect segway into a bj. Rub him on the back, flip him over and rub him on the front, suck nipples a little and just ... drift lower, if you get my drift.  I'm reasonably sure that he won't need any encouragement from you to show his enthusiasm in the most masculine way. It'll be fun and erotic and just down right sexy!!

good luck - and come back and give us an update. [sm=dance.gif][sm=excuseme.gif][sm=hearts.gif][sm=hearts.gif][sm=oddballs.gif][sm=cheering.gif][sm=cute.gif][sm=cute.gif]



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