quote:

ORIGINAL: StrtbkNamdDesire

Alright... so I've done some thread searches, I've been talking to a few folks (Dom/sub/switch) and doing some other 'research' to decide exactly how to proceed in my journey into this lifestyle.

It seems many of the experienced people on the forum recommend playing in public as a good introduction, before zipping off with some Daddy Dom only to re-emerge 2 yrs later broken and pleading for a second chance. :P (i keed i keed...

One of the dungeons in my area has weekly educational sessions for n00bs like myself- they are both an introduction to the dungeon itself, to safe/sane play, and involve a Q&A with some of the Masters/Dommes at the dungeon, as well as an overview of the local community and a chance to sign up as a member. I think this would be a really good way to dip my toes in and get a good idea of how to proceed; any thoughts?

(I'm also thinking this is a good way to find exactly what I'm looking for- play opportunities and like-minded folk without the online-nuttiness. So many people here seem to be into the D/s aspect of the acronym... I much prefer the BD SM parts.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I didnt like that idea when i was new. However, that is the most responsible way to do things. Plus with the advent of the internet people just think that all that makes them a Dom is the gear without any education on safety or how to use it. At a dungeon you can make sure people know what they are doing ahead of time. I have had more than one person that didnt know what they were doing or take the necessary precautions. lessons learned the hard way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrtbkNamdDesire

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I didnt like that idea when i was new. However, that is the most responsible way to do things. Plus with the advent of the internet people just think that all that makes them a Dom is the gear without any education on safety or how to use it. At a dungeon you can make sure people know what they are doing ahead of time. I have had more than one person that didnt know what they were doing or take the necessary precautions. lessons learned the hard way.

Pre-zacktly my thoughts. Thank you. (Does anyone else find it ironic that a dungeon is considered 'sterile' and 'safe'? :P)

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Why not?........... Like anything else, give it a go and if you like it and it suits you , you'll have fun. If you don't, you can stop going.  It's as good a way as any to explore.

agirl

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ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I'd say that sounds like about the opposite of the right direction, in my opinion.  But that's the beauty of it - it's up to YOU to figure out what you want.

One thing though - you should probably reply to your PMs.  I messaged you on your first day here and you haven't even read it yet.  :p

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ORIGINAL: StrtbkNamdDesire
Does anyone else find it ironic that a dungeon is considered 'sterile' and 'safe'? :P

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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I'd say that sounds like about the opposite of the right direction, in my opinion.  But that's the beauty of it - it's up to YOU to figure out what you want.

One thing though - you should probably reply to your PMs.  I messaged you on your first day here and you haven't even read it yet.  :p

Yoou talking to me? I have been here well over a year and always answer my cmail. but not IM.

quote:

Oh, I've never heard that about dungeons.  I've definitely heard the opposite though.
As for the idea in this thread that dungeons are safer than houses because "at least at a dungeon you know the people are serious and properly trained", huh?  That's like saying it's safer to eat at a restaurant because at least at a restaurant the people have taken a Food Safe course.  But have you ever gotten sick from eating at home?  I haven't, but I've been sick from eating out 3 or 4 times now.  Just because someone is on the inside of "a dungeon" doesn't make them safe, experienced, educated, compatible, fun, attractive, or any of the other things you (probably) want in a partner.

EDIT: No, lusciouslips19, I was talking to the OP, sorry I didn't make that clear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

My perspective comes from learning the hard way. I broke off with a dom because he was technically unfit. I was hit behind the knee in the crease. this is an endangerment site filled with blood vessels. It took 3 weeks for the bruises to go away. That is 2 weeks longer than any bruise should take to heal. I have also suffered swelling in my wrists from someone not listening. Had Doms whacking me aboout my hip bones and slapping at my kidneys. Safety is of the utmost importance to me. I am lucky that I know what these cautionary sites are. As a Massage therapist and educator i have learned and taught it. Some may not know as much as me and may not know the danger is hitting these areas until its too late.

I know I am on the safety soapbox again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


I have posted this chart many times.

http://www.massagenerd.com/pictures/endangerment1.jpg


I started a thread on it and post it whenever safety is talked about. These are the endangerment sites. i have also done threads on different types of pain and what to watch out for. I am a massage therapist and Instructor so these sites apply to any palpation or hitting. i do agree that everyone bruises differently. My butt has become quite resistant. The politeal area(behind the knee) should never be bruised.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

My perspective comes from learning the hard way. I broke off with a dom because he was technically unfit. I was hit behind the knee in the crease. this is an endangerment site filled with blood vessels. It took 3 weeks for the bruises to go away. That is 2 weeks longer than any bruise should take to heal. I have also suffered swelling in my wrists from someone not listening. Had Doms whacking me aboout my hip bones and slapping at my kidneys. Safety is of the utmost importance to me. I am lucky that I know what these cautionary sites are. As a Massage therapist and educator i have learned and taught it. Some may not know as much as me and may not know the danger is hitting these areas until its too late.

I know I am on the safety soapbox again.

• impact to joints equals injury. The sjambok as weapon is used directly at joint strikes.
  
• impact to bones equals probable injury, or at least bone bruises—(not minor).
  
• impact to fleshy parts (muscle especially) equals fun; and caning as a top should never be undertaken without instruction! Sensual Caning article
  
• constriction at joints equals caution. Repetitive stress injuries, compressed major nerves. Limited blood flow is fairly safe play for up to a few hours (except to HEAD!!!) but research first.
  
• common sense ain't! Don't toss your horse sense out with your control; negotiate first, and make sure to include communication option during a scene as well as beforehand.