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RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 6:15:21 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

and what if , you know people deal with shock in different ways, so what if as a way of dealing with his shock he slapped you back, you ll understand he did not mean to do it, it just happened, like i say a reflex action, like could it become a slapping game then, You slap me, i slap you, You slap me , i slap you, a bit like a pantomine, would You regard that as ok, has this ever happened to You, and how would You react if it did
kevin

not if you are REALLy a slave you wont. Unless you are really not.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 41

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 6:24:01 AM

MissEnchanted

Posts: 510
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;)

If he fails to be polite when trying to make an impression, he won`t improve if things progress. His lack of taking note of your request, says more about him than his above average command of English ever can, Ma`am. Look at it this way, your first "task" and he was unable to comply.

Yep,

And that condescending comment he made about 'modesty' was just plain ol' rude.

If a man is courting a Domme.......he shows that he can follow her lead, politely.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 42

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 6:54:14 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

and what if , you know people deal with shock in different ways, so what if as a way of dealing with his shock he slapped you back, you ll understand he did not mean to do it, it just happened, like i say a reflex action, like could it become a slapping game then, You slap me, i slap you, You slap me , i slap you, a bit like a pantomine, would You regard that as ok, has this ever happened to You, and how would You react if it did
kevin

That has never happened. Since divorcing my first husband and a couple of failed relationships, I do not associate with men who would ever raise a hand to a woman unless it was self defense. I suppose, in a hypothetical situation, I would immediately dismiss the offender and that would be the end of the relationship and I would most likely tell him to never, ever speak to me again. Then I would turn, walk away and never look back.

I never said that I would slap a stranger or a casual friend for foul language. That would be inappropriate. But my submissive who disobeyed a direct order? Yes, I would correct the infraction.

That being said, I often tell the story of my friend John who got very drunk at a science fiction convention. He and his room mate were sitting on a bench in the hotel lobby letting John 'sober up' a bit before trying to walk any farther. A female role player came up and asked the room mate "Is he drunk?" His response was that yes, indeed, John was pretty toasted. Without provocation or further comment, the girl leaned over and bit John hard enough on the neck to leave a huge black and blue mark ringed with red tooth prints the next day. (Just FYI - In Vampire role playing games, the only way for a Vampire to become intoxicated is to bite a drunk.) John, being ex-military put his left forearm across her chest, grabbed her clothing, pushed her backward as he stood up and round house punched her in the face bloodying her nose. She, naturally, went crying to the hotel security to have him arrested. When the authorities showed up, John showed them the ring of teeth marks on his quickly reddening throat and said "She bit the hell out of me and I knocked her off me." They told him to leave the hotel.

Who was right? Who was wrong? Everything is relative according to the relationship between the two people involved.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 43

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 6:55:31 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted
Yep,

And that condescending comment he made about 'modesty' was just plain ol' rude.

If a man is courting a Domme.......he shows that he can follow her lead, politely.

Amen, sister.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

Post #: 44

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 7:02:19 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

If you are asked in a conversation or correspondence to not do something or to do something and you refuse, the requester then as every right in my opinion to cut off all communication with you. I hope the OP did stop all communications otherwise an inconsistent and mixed message was sent that only re-enforces the vulgar language.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MsFlutter)

Post #: 45

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 7:05:05 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I didn't appreciate it in Carlin or other comics either. When I have something to say, I can say it and rarely ever resort to such words. It takes effort and disipline sometimes to do so, but I don't even remotely consider it dishonest. I have taken great care and pains to express something in a much fuller context than the off the cuff expletive can ever do, so that is not to be taken as some minor thing. There are a lot of folks who know when I would have cussed if I spoke the way they do and really do appreciate me transcending that. It is a matter of better communication, not that one is any more honest than another. Habits and a part of an overall personality are no excuse.

lovingpet

Sometimes a loud F..... is actually the perfect expression. I used that repeatedly when my wallet with passport and all cards was stolen

But these words lose their ability to communicate well when they are used too casually I think. I would also think that with strangers we might be a bit more polite or has basic etiquette disappeared from the world.

And yes, I do swear especially when I'm stressed -- the words demonstrate my feelings. They would have no meaning were I to use them all the time.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 46

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 7:07:27 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shymetalsub

His lack of taking note of your request, says more about him than his above average command of English ever can, Ma`am.

Please do not mistake me for trolling or flaming but hardly ever in my life have I disagreed with anything more than I disagree with this. Submissive men are not machines. They're not perfect in their ability to obey, nor are they perfect in any other regard, because they're people. When I briefly experimented with D/s with my ex before we broke up, I found myself utterly disobedient and unable to comply with two or three requests. One example was her order to buy non-black clothes. There's just this odd thing I had for black at the time, I got extremely anxious in any other color. And if she had wanted me to tone down the cursing, I probably would have reluctantly tried to obey and failed repeatedly *force of habit!*.

There are so few truly articulate people out there. If you find one of them and dwell on a few particular words you don't like (especially words with no truly harmful implications), you're missing the big picture. Most intelligent people are opinionated, and even a bit stubborn. While I realize this could get in the way of the whole submission thing to some extent, all I'm saying is that people who are well spoken should be appreciated for what they have to say, and I would take a brilliant foul mouthed domme over a polite dumby any day of the week.

With a stranger this isn't about obedience but about making a good impression.

If you can't take your target audience's preferences into serious consideration then you are not being articulate and you are harming your ability to communicate with them. If that happens don't be surprised when communication completely stops and you are ignored.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to shymetalsub)

Post #: 47

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 8:04:41 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

and what if , you know people deal with shock in different ways, so what if as a way of dealing with his shock he slapped you back, you ll understand he did not mean to do it, it just happened, like i say a reflex action, like could it become a slapping game then, You slap me, i slap you, You slap me , i slap you, a bit like a pantomine, would You regard that as ok, has this ever happened to You, and how would You react if it did
kevin

You must have seen some pretty strange pantomimes then Kevin.

Yes I have used such language 'for effect' but you know, I was 13 years old at the time and it was between me and my friends. I've since grown up and so has my language.

Unlike other languages such as German, French, Polish and Spanish there is no 'Sie' and 'du', no 'vous' and 'tu', no distinction between formal and informal language and because of this English, the language we are all using here, relies heavily on context. Context dictates that we use words in the appropriate manner to the appropriate person at the appropriate time.

By all means use an expletive to express extreme emotion, which is what they are there for, to be used and where they are appropriate, but in my opinion they are NEVER appropriate in an e-mail to a prospective domme, in a posting on these boards, in a profile or in any other communication between submissive and domme other than what is permitted and excused by the domme herself.

This isn't even etiquette, but a knowledge and understanding of one's own language, but as we see oftentimes on both sides of this site both knowledge and understanding of plain simple English are sadly lacking.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 48

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 8:37:35 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
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in the case of the teeth marks i think the man was correct, i would do the very same thing, as You can possibly observe biting is not my fetish
kevin

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 49

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 10:17:49 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Back to the point, using that language while courting, well, it would make me think that the guy would possibly also take me to an environment on the first date where you have to duck punches and low flying bottles. Somebody who can't control their language in company possibly also can't control a lot of other things, it also would show me that he doesn't respect me enough to have a polite approach.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 50

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 10:30:15 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

I'd like a general reaction to an email conversation I had with a sub male. Despite his above-average command of the English language, his emails were peppered with unnecessarily salty language - his favorite being '8sshole'. I diplomatically suggested that emails were always easier to read when they contained something other than 4 letter words. His response follows below:

....Unfortunately You will see those words in the mails i send You. Hell, they're coming from me, and what a big one i am lol - a, stubborn as one as well. Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself ....

Have basic courtesies died an ugly death ?

Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;)

I wonder what other assumptions he has made about a "Dominant Woman like Yourself"?

You know, sometimes people fill in the blank spaces with things they want or think is right. It is a natural thing in text communication. I think this is why verbal and face to face communication is so important. You fill in those spaces, not with your fantasies, but with the reality of who the other person is.

This certainly could be an example of that "filling in", but the manner in which he presents himself (and you) is disturbing to me. He is telling you how you should be. That is not the submissive role.

It might be a simple slip - only you will know as you have seen his other communication and can better judge his intent.
It might be indicative of an attitude of topping from the bottom - again, this needs to be your call based on your other interactions with him.

Hope that helps.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to MsFlutter)

Post #: 51

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 11:49:51 AM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shymetalsub
Some people, myself included, are foul mouthed. There are many people who swear a lot who are also articulate and have a lot to say, just look at George Carlin (R.I.P.). When someone truly curses a lot, it's a part of their character. It's a habit that's hard to change. And while I'm not trying to sound (too) condescending, I really do find the idea that cursing is harmful and disrespectful to be dated and a little silly. Cursing is just something that people do, and to not hide or censor what you're thinking in it's raw entirety is honest speech in my opinion. So on the whole concept of cursing, I don't really take your side, unless this was excessive to the point of being repetitious and awkward.

I'm pretty foul-mouthed, too. My dad was a profanitarian, and I expect that I got it from him. He was also a really smart guy with an excellent command of the language. I think I got some of that from him, too. I know that my level of profanity use is not acceptable to some people. For some folks, any curse words are awkward and uncomfortable. There are places where curse words aren't acceptable, like at work or around the grandkids. I try to keep it clean there, but I don't always succeed. I try really hard not to use even the mildest curse-word around my mother-in-law - it would make her feel really uncomfortable.

I'd be a poor match for someone who was offended by coarse language. I'd offend them. I know how they feel. I feel the same way about lousy table manners. I always make sure that first dates are meals because I know I could never live with someone who held their spoon like a shovel or chewed with their mouth open. I'm sure that there are some people who would think that this is a little silly, but it's a pretty fundamental thing for me.

There really isn't any right or wrong here. I can understand the point of view expressed in the OP, and would suggest that if profanity is a limit this isn't the right guy for her.

(in reply to shymetalsub)

Post #: 52

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 12:00:12 PM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

i dont use bad language , all im saying is i dont think its a slappable offence
for me a Woman who face slaps lacks authority really in the sense they cannot communicate their displeasure , they have to use violence to do it
kevin

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 53

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 12:08:34 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

kevin, since you addressed your reply to me, it shows a lack of understanding of how these boards work.

As for communicating displeasure, quite a few Dommes here have communicated their displeasure with you, and I doubt any would be tempted to slap you, dominate you or engage with you otherwise. Again, you seem to have issues with Dommes, you seem fairly inexperienced (remember when you educated me that OTK spanking is edge play but refused to answer my questions about your experience or what could possibly go wrong)...

[Mod Note: image removed]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 11/15/2008 3:59:49 PM >

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 54

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 12:29:48 PM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

i am inexperienced Lady Constanze i mean i have five years of experience online but i still think im a newbie if that s a contradiction i dont know, i feel quite green and not just because of my nationality, green in the sense of naive, innocent, not very informed
kevin

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 55

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 12:31:35 PM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

i am a slave, i guess i just am frightened of violence i dont know how id react if i were slapped, the last time i was slapped was seven years ago
kevin

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 56

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 3:17:01 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

So um yea...a certain amount of violence is sort of expected...if not down right required!

Go into the sub forum and ask: "Okay, who wants a spanking!?"

ohmemememe!Pickmemepleasepickmeohspanking!mememe!Ilovethose!pickmeOMGmyturn!
yayspanking!yespleasecanI?Iamready!OhYeah!me!I'mNextAndthentheoralsex!
whooohooo!yeeehaaaa!Iwantmore!HurtmeplsKKonlyifyoumeanitAreyousureIwonthurtyourhand?
Spankdaddy!Isthatthebestyougot?Iwantmore!MeMeMEEEEEEEEE!IthinkIjustwetmyself...

**Please note: the above is meant to be an entire silly topic condensed into a single post. Please DON'T go into the sub forum and ask who want's a spanking! It is retorical.

Violence...yea a bit...this is BDSM, not Hello Kitty Island Adventure...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 57

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 5:04:59 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
this is BDSM, not Hello Kitty Island Adventure...

Oh hell. I just realized you could combine them -- and that's hot!

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 58

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 5:07:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
this is BDSM, not Hello Kitty Island Adventure...

Oh hell. I just realized you could combine them -- and that's hot!

Okay, now I want to go out and play! My Batz-Maru blankie will make an excellent cape!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 59

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? - 11/15/2008 5:11:14 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

*Sigh* You're all talking American again, and all I can do is play with Google in order to translate!

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 60

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