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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 7:02:23 AM

Jennylu48

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/23/2005
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I don't think it is hard to use a safeword at all. I don't think it matters weather your new or not. Why would you not want to use your safeword? Does it make you less of a woman? Does it make you weaker? It is a sign of failure?? The answer to those questions is a resounding HELL NO !!!. But not using your safeword is the same as saying it is ok. That in and of itself could be not only painful but down right dangerous.

< Message edited by Jennylu48 -- 12/29/2005 7:03:12 AM >

(in reply to Notanaddict)

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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 7:27:34 AM

pettaurus

Posts: 9
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notanaddict

did anyone, as a newbie, find it hard to use the safeword? and in what situations?

My first scene. I was very naive, and never should have played with that Dom. He did not have my best interests in mind. I was simply a "toy" to him, as well I should have been, but, when he changed a puhishment mid way through, then caned the shit out of me, I should have used my safeword, but, I didn't. And I honestly don't know why I didn't. Yes, responsibility on my part, but also on his part. Never should have been caned the first time out of the gate. I was so eager to play, I overlooked warning signs before ever kneeling before him. I thought I had done everything right. Met in public, played at a club<although in a private room>. It was, I didn't want to disappoint him. So, unfortunately, caning is now a hard limit for me.

pet

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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 9:09:31 AM

Nendarye

Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notanaddict

did anyone, as a newbie, find it hard to use the safeword? and in what situations?

When I first met Master, he made me use my safeword ALOT. At first I could not understand why, but he later explained that by doing that, it took away the fear of failure I might feel if I ever needed to actually use it. Now, I hardly ever use it, but Master is very attuned with how my body reacts, and he knows when I have been pushed too far.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 4:45:50 PM

kalstolyn

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, AB
Status: offline

For me the problem is not using a safeword, the problem is with thinkin of one. It would have been much easier if the Dom I was playing with had just given me one, but he insisted I think of something on my own. Never came up with anything, as I tend to freeze when put on the spot. So much for that.

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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 4:47:57 PM

Nendarye

Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalstolyn

For me the problem is not using a safeword, the problem is with thinkin of one. It would have been much easier if the Dom I was playing with had just given me one, but he insisted I think of something on my own. Never came up with anything, as I tend to freeze when put on the spot. So much for that.

Master had me think of my own also; I ended up using my daughters full name .......first, middle, and last....

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

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RE: safe word - 12/29/2005 9:19:20 PM

Difference

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Joined: 12/2/2005
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Long ago, I believed in safe words. I don't any more. If I am a slave to someone I trust them to pay attention. I also trust that if I say 'stop', they will. That being said, no, I never did. Because that's what the word was there for. To slow things down, stop what was happening that I couldn't cope with.

There is only one safe word. Trust. If you don't have it, you aren't safe.

My two cents.

(I think I misspelled happening, but, I'm too tired to see it. LOL)

< Message edited by Difference -- 12/29/2005 9:20:32 PM >

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RE: safe word - 12/30/2005 9:51:54 AM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
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I posted on this very topic some time ago. I had safeworded for the first time, and felt guilty for it, although Master was careful to reassure me and did LOTS of aftercare.
As for something "less severe" than a safeword, i'm not quite sure i understand. A safeword is a safeword, whether it's "enough" or "red" or "spaghetti and beer".
They are there because they're meant to be used, however. Don't feel guilty or defeated because you need to use it. Simply remember that your One gave it to you for that purpose.

_____________________________

"Put your big girl panties on and deal with it."

"Forget love...i'd rather fall in chocolate."

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RE: safe word - 12/30/2005 1:15:41 PM

kalstolyn

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, AB
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yeah the logical choice would be "stop" but apparantly that wasn't good enough.

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RE: safe word - 1/3/2006 6:25:16 PM

lilminx

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Notanaddict

did anyone, as a newbie, find it hard to use the safeword? and in what situations?

Being new and all, I use mine all the time. I am coming to realize though that its fear that keeps me saying it...mostly because the feelings are so intense that they scare me.

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Post #: 29

RE: safe word - 1/3/2006 6:45:50 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Well i have never used a safe word with Master because She's been able to read me very well. However, sometimes we play with a friend that is learning to flog and i am given the option to use a safe word if i feel i need to. i think i said it would be "red" or something. But anywho, i never used it. Instead when i was hit in an area that shouldn't have been hit ( e.g neck, spine, tails flyin by my ear..lmao) i'd say in a frustrated that hurt me tone "I"M DONE", "I"M DONE".... walk off to the bathroom then come out 10 seconds later for more. LOL!! i knew She was learning and i loved that i could be Her guinnea pig. i must have done this like 10 times and Master and our friend actually were really cracking up over it. They actually started mocking me: " I"M DONE, I"M DONE :::: storms off to bathroom :::::" LMAO!! Oh and i almost forgot to mention that they were also practicing single tails on me too. WHOA Nelly!! The sound of a single tail cracking near my ear lobe is quite scarey folks!!!! well lets just say the next time we played they thought it would be fun to restrain me and make me take it.