RE: Deal breakers (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 5:09:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

My grandma used to say that was like trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deal Breakers:
When who they were, who they are and who they want to be don’t line up, it’s a deal breaker.  If someone’s history doesn’t support their current behavior or their future desires, they are lying about something or so confused about life, they don’t know who they are yet.


So let me get this straight. Are you saying that a person's history forever defines what a person is and will be till the day they die?



Icarys -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 5:12:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 5:17:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

My grandma used to say that was like trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deal Breakers:
When who they were, who they are and who they want to be don’t line up, it’s a deal breaker.  If someone’s history doesn’t support their current behavior or their future desires, they are lying about something or so confused about life, they don’t know who they are yet.



Hi Kal, you sexy beast.  I'd be saddened that I'm a deal breaker for you, but I'm too happy to be of service in whatever capacity works for the best of all involved.  (Licks)

Edited to add:  I'm teasing of course.  His remark was in response to mine, but honestly had nothing to do with me.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, all things do not revolve around winsome! [:D]



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 5:27:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.



Hello Icarys,

There is something to be said for consistency in ones history.   And yet, that person who is open and flexible enough to see that someone's history (inconsistent or not) has evolved another into a remarkable and brilliant person with a heart of gold to offer, is wise too in my mind.  S'all good.



oceanwynds -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 6:05:36 PM)

Deal breakers: 1. Not permitting me to believe spiritually as I wish or practice my beliefs.
                      2. Energy vampires
                      3.Criminal record in rape
                      4. Those who will argue for their limitations constantly.

We all have a past, mine wasn't pretty. I do not come from that persona anymore. I have been a recovered drug addict for 25 years, and it is not a part of me. I will not fix you and I do not care where you been. What I care about is where you are today and where your attitude is now.

oceanwynds



Icarys -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 6:43:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.



Hello Icarys,

There is something to be said for consistency in ones history.   And yet, that person who is open and flexible enough to see that someone's history (inconsistent or not) has evolved another into a remarkable and brilliant person with a heart of gold to offer, is wise too in my mind.  S'all good.

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 6:53:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.



Then please allow me to introduce myself.[sm=angel.gif] 



Icarys -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 9:05:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.



Then please allow me to introduce myself.[sm=angel.gif] 

You are an angel to behold for sure but one with leathery wings, a saint you cannot be.



moonvine -> RE: Deal breakers (11/19/2008 10:31:26 PM)

Everyone over the age of 15 or so has some sort of issue.  My brother is an alcoholic who has been dry for many years and is a practicing physician. 

People can and do change - figuring out if they have, in fact changed is difficult.

I went 41 years without any legal problems, including traffic tickets, and then bang, all of a sudden I had some.   I have PTSD and severe depression resulting from said legal issues (thanks so much State of Texas, can't wait to sue the living daylights out of you).   I have an EEOC complaint against my former employer. 

Deal breakers for me include not liking/being allergic to animals, not being willing to live below the Mason Dixon line because I don't do snow.  Poly is a dealbreaker.  Of course lying is a dealbreaker but that's not obvious up front, unless the lies are really really blatant.  Any sort of nonconsensual abuse.  Not being attracted to me the way I am/wanting me to lose weight or become a different size.  That sounds like a lot and I'm sure there are more.



leadership527 -> RE: Deal breakers (11/20/2008 12:21:45 PM)

quote:

Winsome said:
Despite all evidence to the contrary, all things do not revolve around winsome! 
*blinks*  what?  damnit, there goes another perfectly good theory of mine down the drain.



Aynne88 -> RE: Deal breakers (11/21/2008 5:10:48 AM)

 
Cali, I just re-read my post. I don't see any idication that I thought anyone was suffering from this thread. I said, and I clearly added twice, this is just *my* opinion, but I detected a lack of empathy.  It was in reference to the comments re: Des, Mira and slaveluci. As well as a respose to DevonKael.  As far as it being my interpretation, yes of course, aren't all of our thoughts and feelings based on our "own" perceptions and interpretations?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

NuevaVida:  I have found that often when someone introduces the word "bashing", it ramps up the responses, and personally, I find it unnecessary.  I truly didn't see bashing; I saw two of us saying what we have experienced in real life. What boggles my mind is that anybody is offended by that.  Are recovering addicts that aren't doing so hot giving other addicts a bad name or something?? 

Aynne:  If anyone is "suffering" from our comments and perceived lack of empathy, then that is their own projections or perhaps your interpretation.  If it truly bothers you, why don't you start a support thread?


Cali




ThundersCry -> RE: Deal breakers (11/21/2008 8:34:20 AM)

If my family likes them...
 
No deal Howie...



CalifChick -> RE: Deal breakers (11/21/2008 10:12:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Cali, I just re-read my post. I don't see any idication that I thought anyone was suffering from this thread.


Ahh, but for a comma, we would have had better understanding...

quote:


but I did not read this thread yesterday and get a whole lot of empathy for those that are suffering from some of the comments.


So you meant:  but I did not read this thread yesterday and get a whole lot of empathy for those that are suffering, from some of the comments.

And not:  I didn't see a whole lot of empathy for [people who are suffering from what was written here about situations like theirs].

LOL! 

Cali



Aynne88 -> RE: Deal breakers (11/21/2008 10:45:10 AM)

Exactly. Fricking comma. [&:] That is what I meant tho, not in any way did I mean people were suffereing from the exchange of comments on here, I meant suffering from their addications. Sorry for the confusion.  



shannie -> RE: Deal breakers (11/21/2008 6:41:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravesdom

.....  Anyone who has spent any time in prison would also be a deal breaker.


Well, in the modern prisons-for-proft climate, where even Martha Stewart has spent time in prison, you may have disqualified half the candidates available to you!



JustDarkness -> RE: Deal breakers (11/23/2008 1:02:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shannie

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravesdom

.....  Anyone who has spent any time in prison would also be a deal breaker.


Well, in the modern prisons-for-proft climate, where even Martha Stewart has spent time in prison, you may have disqualified half the candidates available to you!


Even the CM idol DeSade spent half his life in prison (which is a mirracle...because I would have killed him for his deeds)



UncleNasty -> RE: Deal breakers (11/23/2008 2:13:03 PM)

I'd rather comment on history than deal breakers.

I believe in the capacity for humans to change. I expect if I didn't I would have jumped off the bridge a long time ago. Does ones history matter to me? You betcha. What is more important to me is the present, and what history someone has overcome.

Uncle Nasty



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