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ORIGINAL: Archer

If you are up to some pretty dry reading you cna get likely the very best researched history of fetish in the US online. It's a very academic phd level dissertation by Robert V Bienvenu II PhD. It's available online in PDF format (but it''s a huge file so download it when you have alot of time).

http://americanfetish.net

I was lucky and was gifted with a CD copy of it several years ago.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

If you are up to some pretty dry reading you cna get likely the very best researched history of fetish in the US online. It's a very academic phd level dissertation by Robert V Bienvenu II PhD. It's available online in PDF format (but it''s a huge file so download it when you have alot of time).

http://americanfetish.net

I was lucky and was gifted with a CD copy of it several years ago.

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee
Its not so much that i find sex unacceptable...i find public sex in a public dugeon unacceptable for the simple fact that if someone is getting a blowjob in front of my favorite cross and they have stopped using the cross....then its princesses turn....so move the head to your car or where ever it is that they sneak off to do that sort of thing...princess needs her beating....

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Actually, at private parties where sex is allowed, the vibe of the play is so different. im not a prude at allll. but i like to play in public specifically because you can watch anyones scene and you can feel safe knowing that you wont be unexpectedly watching things that are more intimate than you might want to see in general. i dont know that i would feel comfortable watching others scenes if they were able to become suddenly sexual.

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ORIGINAL: MissIsis

I was at an S&M get together last night.  We hold it informally in a vanilla setting, & it is similiar to a munch.  It is a great way to socialize with like minded people. 

In talking to one gentleman last night, (I hope he won't take offense.  He is a pleasant, & nice person) I realized just how far apart some of us are in regards to what we perceive this lifestyle to be.  He mentioned that he leads another group that meets a couple times a year for play & fun.  But during the conversation, he mentioned that he holds these events at a nudist camp & how much fun it was for him to have 2 naked girls riding in the back of his golf cart & one riding on the hood.  That was all well & good.  He went on to talk about how he introduced a woman to S&M & made her orgasm 8 times. That to me, is not what this lifestyle about.

But then he began to talk about how the old guard lifestyle never focused on sex, & how the new generation of lifestylers were all about sex.  The conversation made me realize just why it is that sometimes we have so many misunderstandings about the lifestyle between each other.  It may also be why we have so many people coming on to lists like this, thinking that being sexual on cam is part of our lifestyle. 

I really have no problem with sex.  In fact, I enjoy it.  However, it is about much more than tying someone up, paddling them & making them want an orgasm or giving them multiple orgasms as many times as I can.  I enjoy all of those things, the sadism, the masochism of my partner, the many different sensations I can give, & I am happy to use them, but my ultimate quest is the submission of my willing subject, & the desire on both our parts to push through our limits.

To me, it is more about the control & service.  And yes, sex can be used as a part of that.  My submissives have almost always been allowed release, but only as a reward & never as a main part of fulfulling their kink, & never with me actually having sex with them.  Generally, they take care of themselves at my direction every step of the way. 
And you know, they are, for the most part quite fulfilled to serve me, as I am honored to have their service. 

Does anyone care to jump into this discussion?  Has this lifestyle really come to be more about sex & how many times you can make someone come, rather than about the many nuances involved in gaining the trust & commitment towards one another? 


MissIsis,

An excellent subject and post but the fello you spoke with I cannot place in either frame , he seems just vanilla with a randy streak.

CP

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ORIGINAL: Kindandcruel
 I know a lot of you will get pissed off for what I am saying because you disagree with me... but then liberals are the most intolerant people around... not to mention selfish and lazy. You are anything BUT LIBERAL! Anybody that grew up ion the 60's understand what I am talking about... because I was a liberal when being liberal meant something.