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B1gbear -> RE: A Passive/Aggressive Dom>? (12/24/2005 8:51:42 AM)
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quote:
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Dearest B1gbear:
so happy to hear you appreciate the quote from grandma~! But hey it's usually those on the outside looking in that see things more clearly~!
The one thing I did not mention here is I have a daughter who is twelve.....so anything and everything I decide is for us. A Dom that gets involved with me has to realize this.......he simply can't make demands..especially if he hasn't any children of his own....that I drop my life and do as told .I simply requested compromise. In example....give it time....say a year.....of coming to "us" , getting to know "us" and seeing how that would work. This Dom said it had to be his way period.
secret
This is a very relavent piece of information. Children indeed change scope of the dynamic. I have had a slave before who had children. It made a big difference in how she came to me and an even bigger difference on how it ended in the end. Children must be considered by both parties above and beyond personal demands and needs. Thus the responsibilities of parenthood. A Dom doesn't have to take responsibilities for a sub's children, but come on......common sense here. If you take a sub into your home, or intend on merging into her home and there are children she is responsible for (Let's just for a minute make a presumption on the whole 'I love my kids and they come first' thing.)...What kind of selfish bastard ignores the child component and fails to place their best interest among the highest priorities in the solidifying of the relationship??? If a Dom can't take a responsible approach regarding children, then how in the hell would he/she ever take a responsible approach with the sub.
By responsible I mean one of the following: take responsibility for the children as well and a solid parenting role in the lives of children living in the home as they would in any vanilla relationship, ... take a responsible stand on how the relationship goes forward to ensure the children are considered and their well being is looked after in the process, ....or be honest enough to admit that they have no desire to take such responsibilities over another's children or simply don't want children in their lives and end the potiential relationship responsibly like an adult, accepting that it simply isn't the right situation for them.
I don't care what 'his way' may have been, if he was refusing to accept your responsibilities with your daughter, kick his has to the curb and move on guilt free. He doesn't have the maturity or a responsible enough personality to entrust yourself or your daughter's well being to him in a D/s dynamic.
Maybe that came off a bit harsh, so well......ya! That's exactly how I meant it. I have two kids of my own (who don't live with me), and I have no tollerance for those willing to sacrifice the children's needs to fit their own selfish desires. Just my opinion, but I think those kind of Dom's have no one's interest but their own in mind when it comes to the D/s dynamic anyway. Not a Dom in my book.
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