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RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 9:44:03 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


Nominees for the most unintended use of a quote are............

chia* (the pet)


Chia, have I ever told you how much I want to spank you?


The line forms to the right, but I'll limit everyone to two whacks to speed things up.

chia* (the pet)


Glad you warned me.  I'll make sure to bring my nail-studded paddle.


Far be it from me to make it all about my desires, but sure, bring the studs.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 9:44:26 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		I am not going to go there again, ask a few around here and maybe they will share with you both my honest and smart-ass answers to this question.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 9:47:35 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, shoot!

And here I was wanting someone on their knees with some form of chocolate.



How about SHOES and Chocolate? 

**My birthday is the 27th for those of you who have been living under a rock**

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 10:23:49 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Politeness, respectful address without grovelling, and a clear indication that my profile has been read and they seek more information and are willing to go through the application process and understand what we are looking for. I also screen for spelling and correct use of English.

U still looking

versus

Hello, Ma'am and Sir, I hope you are both well. I have read your profile and would like to know more about your requirements. I am (age) (orientation) (gender), in (location). I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely, (Name).


Now, really, guys, which makes you look more interesting, appealing, and more a fun package to unwrap? This is not rocket science.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 10:27:48 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Nice picture, well-written profile which expresses a positive attitude, absolutely no request for sexual service or physical acts in the email, a sign that my profile was read from start to finish, and intelligent or thought-provoking or funny or otherwise worthwhile posts to this forum.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 11:10:21 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Someone who reads my profile PRIOR to writing me so they know what I am seeking/not seeking.
Someone who writes a message with proper spelling and an attempt at being respectful.
No cock pics, I don't want to hear any fantasies/fetishes. Just talk to me like I am someone you would like to be friends with and see where it goes from there.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to randomsubTO)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/19/2008 10:48:11 PM   
randomsubTO


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting answers.
I liked it first sarcastic one about this being asked often - adds a  lot thanks.

I actually liked the post about it being almost impossible to get attentions, I can completely understand that.

I understand down to earth is probably a good thing, and reading a whole profile is of course great. 

I wonder if its a chicken/egg type problem.  If one was able to correspond a bit, one could figure out what might get someones attention, but one needs to get someone's attention before you're able to correspond.

Well just some thoughts!

< Message edited by randomsubTO -- 11/19/2008 11:15:10 PM >

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 5:21:31 AM   
FloridaMistresse


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline 		I think this is a fair question, wether it has been asked before or not, I think it is the first time you are asking it, and therefore deserves an honest respectful reply:

This following is of course from My POV only (Point of View)

~Read a Mistresses Profile first (it will tell you what they seek and their sexual preferences)  for example I am gay, so anything about serving Me sexually from a male slave will simply be deleted.
~Respond to them honeslty and ask what they seek and if and how you may get to know them.
(so in My case, I do not waste time IMing so if you ask if W/we can chat on Yahoo, again that will get denied)
~Be polite and respectful and keep their desires in mind.
~Ask if you might ask their preferences if they are not stated in the profile.
~Have a nice pic.  That does not mean you need to be handsom, it just gives Us a reference to go from and make sure the pic is up to date, and not 20-40 # ago.  LOL
~Be prepared for the response from the Mistress and accept it gracefully. It may not be what you want to hear, but you need to accept her decisions.

A quick snippet: ( meant to help you, hope it does)

I used to own only  females slaves. I was vehement about it. Never males. A lovely male slave emailed Me one day ( I had no pic on My profile) and asked what owning a slave meant to Me, and what that would entail for the slave.
I responded to him that one would have to have a sex change as I only own females, which was right in My profile.  To speed to the point and skip the boring details, he responded rather politely that if a slave were not seeking sex, or play but to only serve a Mistress and to make her life enchanted, how would a male approach Me?   Well, this certainly got My attention as I had never had this response, usually it was all about some form of sex or play the male slave was seeking.  I responded to him about service I expect and protocol etc.  he asked Me for the oportunity to prove that he was sincere and not seeking anything other than to please Me.
I have now owned him for 6 years.  So, he turned My Dogma around by being patient, respectful, sincere, and honest.  So, that is My advice to you. If after being all of those things, you get denied, it is not meant to be, and you must move on. 

< Message edited by FloridaMistresse -- 11/20/2008 5:26:07 AM >

(in reply to randomsubTO)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 5:41:56 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Well I can tell you what does not:
 
1. your cock
2. naked pics of your butt
3. arrogance
4. a list of do me's
5. constant talk about kink
6. bad spelling
7. disrespect not for Me as a Mistress but as a woman in general

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to randomsubTO)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 5:44:22 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		While my response was flippant and sarcastic -- as usual, there was a note of truth in it.  I do actually take notice of someone who takes the initiative to check on things, to do some research before asking others -- that's me. 
Also, because it does get asked often, there is a lot of information you might miss this time around as different people respond at different times, so I thought, if you take a look at others times the question has been asked you'd find a lot more good information.



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to randomsubTO)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 6:39:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No offense, but it does get asked a lot around here.  If you check out the search function, you'll find that many of us have answered it on quite a few occasions.  Here are some common themes that always come up.


Read the profile of the person you are contacting.  When you haven't, it's usually easy to tell.  Follow whatever guidelines are outlined in that profile about initiating contact.  Don't think you are the exception to the rule if you fall into a category that the person your addressing isn't interested in.  (Great example here.  If you're married, and she says no married submissives, pass that Dominant by.  It will save her time and yours.)

When you write, it doesn't have to be a lot.  Three or four well written, correctly spelled sentences will suffice.  Mention something you specifically noticed about HER (not her tits) and say something about yourself (don't make it your cock).  If it's not something you would walk up to a stranger and say on the street, keep it out of the first email.  Most of us can spot a form letter from a mile away, so don't go that route.  If we can tell that you could be doing the cut and paste thing to everyone else out there, it's probably not going to get a response.

For Me personally, there are two things that will almost always get Me to reply.  One is if a person writes to Me because they read and liked something I had to say on the forums.  The other is if they are trying to find BDSM groups or events in My area that I might know about.  By the way, the more you participate on the forums yourself, get to know us here and let us get to know you, the more attention you're going to get.

Welcome.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 10:43:08 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Just treat me like a normal person! Unless someone has a super stick up their butt (you can probably tell via profile) being polite and acting normal can go a long way. And by normal I mean as if you were talking to a woman at work, or at a bar or at a resturant. Imagine that, skills you use to talk to "vanilla" woman can help you talk to a domme. If you lack those skills or think because this is BDSM you don't need them anymore then you're in trouble.

How I would LOVE a decent e-mail from someone who read my profile that didn't talk about them being on their knees, them offering me their ass or how they're so eager to serve.You know what usually happens when I talk to someone like on messenger? They're void of any personality and talk about NOTHING but kink and bore me to death.

Even if you follow all the advice in this thread and any other thread like it, you're fighting an uphill battle. There are more subs than dommes and a lot of those dommes have tarnished the reputation of the light blue e-mail that even seeing one in the mail box brings a feeling of dread. Make sure you have a kick ass profile to match your (hopefully) kick ass opening e-mail, it'll help your odds.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 10:49:26 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Read the profile of the person you are contacting.  When you haven't, it's usually easy to tell.  Follow whatever guidelines are outlined in that profile about initiating contact.  Don't think you are the exception to the rule if you fall into a category that the person your addressing isn't interested in.  (Great example here.  If you're married, and she says no married submissives, pass that Dominant by.  It will save her time and yours.)



Bolded above ~ By Me...This is actually it, in a nutshell, for Me. 
I took the time to be very specific in My rather long profile.  The reasons for such a profile are twofold. 
 
1.  If you can't be bothered to read it and comprehend it, then you are not for Me. (Notwithstanding that if you do read it, comprehend it and realize I am not the one, you would not write...right?)
 
2.  I give sufficient information about Me and what I expect in a slave (since that is what I seek).  I also give a complete outline of what to write in a letter of introduction.
 
It can be done, believe it or not, with a few thoughtful sentences.  If anyone takes shortcuts there, then I know they will take shortcuts elsewhere.  If they ignore what I request in My profile, I feel they will ignore My expectations IRT.
 
What gets My attenton is a thoughtful letter of introduction that shows the person read My profile, understands where I am coming from, and takes the time to write the letter I request.  Everything else gets ignored/deleted.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:15:00 PM   
DGael


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		Intelligence

(in reply to randomsubTO)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:29:46 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DGael

Intelligence



OT

But is it you? Do we know each other via MIB?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DGael)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:30:21 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		One of the things you really need to do is develop a really thick skin. See, what irritates one has a strong chance of making the next one happy. Like this thread? Granted, it IS a question that gets asked often enough. But (because I'm an oddball) I appreciate the new thread with the question from a new person. See, my thinking is that this place has enough influx of new people that just because I'm persistant enough to hang out here for YEARS (lmao) doesn't mean that the newcomers should have to search around to see what has, and has not been asked. And on that same note... the revival of old threads makes me crazy. They're dead.. they died for a reason... leave them dead... you know?
 
Sooo, get a thick skin. You are not going to be able to make everyone of us happy no matter what you do and believe me, each of us are so different individually that trying will only make you crazy. And trust me.... turning into a bitter sour jerk that bashes us because of how different we are won't win you any points either... We've seen that a few times!!
 
Beyond that? Post on the boards, ask your questions and throw some answers out there too. Let us get to know you. This is the internet, words are all we have to see the real, inner you. And it's ok to change your mind on occasion (who doesn't?), but please be consistant in what you say and how you react... there are sharks in these waters and will spot the smallest deceptions.
 
Just be you, yeah, even if "you" is all about the kink and nothing else... it may not be appealing to the largest part of us, but honesty is honesty... right?
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to DGael)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:36:15 PM   
DGael


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		Yes

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:37:17 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DGael

Yes



{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GAEL}}}}}}}}}}}}

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DGael)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 1:40:08 PM   
DGael


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		Why do I have a vanilla ice cream cone next to my name, when, clearly I  prefer chocolat?

< Message edited by DGael -- 11/20/2008 1:41:48 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: So what get's a Domme's attention? - 11/20/2008 2:20:55 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DGael

Why do I have a vanilla ice cream cone next to my name, when, clearly I  prefer chocolat?


I'm sure if you had your real picture up there, you would have a flame that would melt the ice cream ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DGael)
Profile   Post #: 40
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