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LaTigresse -> RE: I want to know what happened to honor and integrity (11/22/2008 5:52:59 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
Just a general reply to the thread concerning integrity: dom/ domme , or what ever the case may be, leads into the conversation about trust, about loyalty, about devotion. If you are sub or slave, such things are what we all want, what we all desire and yet betrayal is not something a sub or slave is expecting, then it comes, sure they are interested, but only as an object, property to be used at their convenience, discarded or even dismissed. The sub or slave's heart sinks, their spirit lessens, all that they are or what to become comes into question. Where do they go from where the individual put them, a future shattered, the sub or slave looks in the mirror, tears in their eyes. What now? Who do they trust now? seek the fiction or seek what is real. They think or they believed that something they most wanted was in fact only an illusion. Someone enjoyed themselves. The sub or slave is now standing in front of the mirror trying to pick up the pieces of their heart and spirit because they believed that the dom/domme wanted them. Integrity.....not! Honorable....hell no! worthy of a sub or slaves admiration and respect....never! Do they care...probably not. Pick up the pieces and start over. Has to be a dom/domme out there that sub or slave can believe in.
To have such values is an investment of self, of identity, for the dom/domme and for the sub/slave.
It's not an illusion, it's a lifestyle, a life choice.
Some would use and abuse, discard and dismiss and continue. Sell the illusion, when the illusion loses its glamour, move on.
Is not the values of this thread what should be emulated if not define the relaltionship between dom/domme and their sub/slave?
Or such values only written in novels, dreamed about, written in poetry and verse, reflected upon within music. Is having such values a falsehood?
No those values exist outside of fiction, otherwise where would the ideal for that fiction come from, no one would know of it.
What I think most of the respondents are saying some of us more harshly than others, is this. IF, you have a string of such, multiple assholes in your life, then you are making poor choices.
Too many people want the relationship so badly that they do not use good judgement in choosing the person they have their relationships with. They do not look at the person realistically in the first place. Instead they place their ideals and expections on that person then cry foul when the person does not meet their false expectations. Who's fault is that, the asshole's? NO!! Of course not, assholes are assholes. It is not their responsiblity to change. Anyone that expects them to be any different is fooling themself.
If you want a prince or knight then you set your filter to find a prince or knight. AND, you quit looking at assholes trying to figure out how you can, by some miracle, turn them into something they are not. It really is that simple.
Unfortunately there are many that are so desperate they settle. They are afraid to be alone and do the work on themselves that they need to do, to be worthy of the prince or knight.
In my short time here I have seen so much damned whining about "no one wants me" "there are no good subs/slaves/doms/dommes" blah blah blah blah.......Well guess what, there are quite a few of them! You name the gender and dynamic and I could give you a name on here that IF that person fit my dynamic, and I theirs, I would be chasing after like a starving dog after a fresh meaty bone. And that is just here in the forums!
No one, and I mean NO ONE, worthy of being with, is interested in the "oh woe is me, I've been soooo badly wronged" person. So, IF that is a person's mindset, my advice to them is to STOP LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP and start working on themself. Get a good vibrator or tub of lube if you have to. Fix yourself. Take some classes and broaden your mind. Do some volunteer work. Get your finances in order. Do something that gets you out of your self pity mode and when you quit feeling desperate to have or belong to, someone, you just might be ready to try again.
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