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Where am I? - 11/21/2008 1:22:42 AM   
ToFindYou07


Posts: 45
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		i'm 22, with half a college credit, and a yeast infection... in a relationship that i love, but is going nowhere... i only have one friend and that's my boyfriend of just about a year... i live with my brother, and i feel like i'm failing at life. 

i wanted, so badly, for so long, to be a teacher... more than anything.  the desire to be in school for the rest of my life faded the second i walked into a college classroom.  now i think i'd be content just doing clerical work that pays well, for the rest of my life, as it's definitely possible, as soon as i find a job that doesn't dead end at $9.00/hr, or require me to try to work at a place where i can't do the job. 

i just sometimes don't know what to do... i'd love to go to school, but i can't until i'm 26, due to the fact that my parents make too much money to allow me to get any financial aid... and they won't help me with school anymore because when i was 18, i tried, three separate times, to go to school, and wasn't successful.  i don't qualify for any kind of finaicial aid,  grant, or anything else that's out there.  i've tried. 

i need a job, but the market sucks... i'm applying for everything i'm qualified for, and everything i find that's retail... and i can't get anyone to call me back... and when i do the calling, to check in on resumes and stuff, i get hung up on, almost every time.  i've even applied at mcdonalds... i've also got temp agencies looking, but they don't have many jobs to sort through these days either...

i'm frustrating my boyfriend because i go to him with all my emotions, and boys don't do well with emotions...

i've tried to make "in person" friends, but everyone i meet smokes pot, or hangs out at the bars a lot, or just wants to have sex with me.  i'm not really into any of those kinds of friendships.  i'd like to have a friend who just wants to go to the mall, or go see a movie... or order in chinese and watch "10 things i hate about you".

my bank account is dwindeling down to the bare bones of what is needed to get by, and i just need a break... i need to get rid of this crappy yeast infection and all the irritation that was caused by it, i need a job to appear that pays well, and i need money in the bank again so that i don't feel like i've got nothing. 

i'm so done sitting in bed all day (as soon as my body returns to its normal state and it doesn't kill me to walk) and i want to be a part of the world... get a job and keep it, pay my own rent, provide the things i need for myself...

it's just a hell of a struggle to get there right now. 


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 1:30:08 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		1) shut up moaning - life is tough, as youre finding out - it doesnt necessarily get any easier and many have it much worse than you
2) get yourself into college; pick something that will always be needed, work at it - this will build the self esteem I suspect youre lacking
3) work a part time job too - most people have to do this - more self esteem
4) at college, find people you'd prefer to have as friends rather than the dimwits youve mentioned; college is a good place to meet friends, many people are there alone, many away from home. More self esteem. However, bear in mind no one wants to hear how bad life is or enjoys negative people
5) stick to it, complete the course. more self esteem
6) dont come out of college expecting anything to be different apart from your earning power, number of wonderful lifelong friends and self esteem
7) prepare to start at the bottom of any place of employment and to rise rapidly to the top
8) live long and prosper

E

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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 1:30:15 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, you know what you wrote there could have been me once i graduated uni. The worst thing you can do is get sucked down into it all. for a year i went from job to job with periods of unemployment. I eventually found a job I enjoyed and am now doing my socond degree to become qualified in a  similar area.

Why did you stop wanting to teach? I dont know much about the US school system but do they have teaching aids over there? Also volunteering in areas of interest really helps your CV and contacts.

Good luck, i know its hard at the moment but it does actualy get better, normally when you really dont expect it to.

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(in reply to ToFindYou07)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 2:03:57 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		You're doing just fine. Remember that when you are young you are supposed to
make mistakes. That's how we learn! So don't be so hard on yourself. You're right on track. Be patient with yourself. Relax a bit. We're all poor when we're young, that's normal.So enjoy what you have rather than focusing on what you lack. You are doing well. 

Set and work toward daily, weekly and monthly goals for yourself. As you accomplish them you'll gain confidence and a renewed sense of self-worth. Don't hit yourself over the head for percieved "failures"! Just learn from your mistakes, and move forward. Explore, and have FUN! 
When I was young and dirt poor, I spent a lot of time in nature because it was free, and brought me peace and joy. Do whatever you need to do to find  your own peace and joy. Ask for help from those who love you, and don't feel bad or guilty about it. There may be someone else who cares about you who would be willing to help you get through college. Look into grants and loans, or if you really do just want to take a break from school that's fine too. Don't feel bad about that either. Youth is fleeting. Take this time to learn about yourself, and to enjoy what you have.

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(in reply to ToFindYou07)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 2:13:38 AM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Crying for what you want is the least likely way to get it.
Whimpers of distress will only bring predators, not friends.
For Heaven's sake, be more positve.

(in reply to ToFindYou07)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 2:49:57 AM   
BbwCanaDomme


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline 		Take a deep breath, slather some yogurt on your vag (apparently that works really well, just make sure it's the plain kind because while strawberry vag sounds great in theory, I doubt sugar is overly yeast friendly), and put your big girl pants on.

Look into scholarships, take out a loan, and go back to school. Get a part time job if you can find one, but the economy is shit,  you might as well use this time to better yourself.

If the boyfriend isn't working, dump and replace. Apply at coffee shops and make friends there. Or join a class, like yoga, and make friends there.

(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 3:39:33 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Courage.
 
Pay attention to Lady Ellen.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i'm 22, with half a college credit,
Half is better than none.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
and a yeast infection...

Get rid of that. Can it be that you got it because of stress? Then get rid of the stress as well.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
in a relationship that i love, but is going nowhere... i only have one friend and that's my boyfriend of just about a year...

Patience.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i live with my brother,

That is temporary. Patience.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
and i feel like i'm failing at life.

Patience again. I have experienced that myself, but I also know myself, my superior ability, and you may have similar ability.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i wanted, so badly, for so long, to be a teacher... more than anything.

So be.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
the desire to be in school for the rest of my life faded the second i walked into a college classroom.

Why?
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i just sometimes don't know what to do...

Prepare. Make a plan. Be determined.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i'd love to go to school, but i can't until i'm 26, due to the fact that my parents make too much money to allow me to get any financial aid...

So get some second hand text books on subjects of your interest and start learning from them.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i tried, three separate times, to go to school, and wasn't successful.

Why not?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
i need a job, but the market sucks... i'm applying for everything i'm qualified for, and everything i find that's retail... and i can't get anyone to call me back... and when i do the calling, to check in on resumes and stuff, i get hung up on, almost every time.  i've even applied at mcdonalds... i've also got temp agencies looking, but they don't have many jobs to sort through these days either...

One of my friends recently got a two day job as a mailman. Stewardess? Companion lady of a rich woman?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
everyone i meet smokes pot, or hangs out at the bars a lot, or just wants to have sex with me.

Avoid those like the plague.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToFindYou07
my bank account is dwindeling down to the bare bones of what is needed to get by, and i just need a break...

Courage again. My bank account has also been dwindling these past four years, so I know the feeling.

< Message edited by Rule -- 11/21/2008 3:40:52 AM >

(in reply to ToFindYou07)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 4:56:45 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		To much whineing going on. I went back to college at 45 and worked a full time job at the time. Without a good education you are going to be stuck in the $9 hr job. If you can't go back to school full time take a couple of classes at a time. One of my co-workers spent 4 years here doing that. He has left and went to a high paying job now. If you can't helpyourself then don't expect help from someone else.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:18:58 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Golly gosh, its amazing how easy it is to preach from up there on your pedistool. Ok differant people cope differantly with differant situations, for some people when something goes wrong life spirals into a black hole and everything seems to be going wrong, often the "pick yourself up" and "dont whine" well obviously thoughtful bits of advice actually doesnt help, neither does "it will get better".  (really its only aimed at two people who posted on here but it got my goat anyways)

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:22:47 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hey, we've all been there - there isnt a lack of sympathy here, merely experienced counsel on the only way forward which if I'd understood it quicker would have gotten me out of the shit a lot quicker.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:27:23 AM   
housesub4you


Posts: 1879
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, can we be any harder on ourselves????

Read LE's message, then read it again and then print it and read it again.

Yup, life is hard and if you keep telling yourself you are going to fail, guess what you will.

The hardest part is getting your ass up and out of the house to get started.

Big deal, you failed a couple of times in college, you live with your brother, so why worry about your parents income when you apply for grants.

Everybody fails in life, not everyone quits. 


(in reply to ToFindYou07)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:28:36 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Oh LE i wasnt aiming at at you, i totally agree with your advice. Its te ones who were just saying sort it out that i was reffering to. That is far easier said than done, you do need realistic goals and you do need perspective, but just being told to stop whining isnt doing either of those things.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:32:00 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Almost everyone goes through something like this. Some of us make bad decisions and wound up moving and getting into disastrous relationships. Others hold on to ideas that drag us down.
Perhaps your problem with the jobs is your attitude. Especially in retail (thats where I am) if you are negative at all you will not be hired. You have to present yourself as positive, friendly and cheerful or people will not want to be your customer. Even if you dont really feel it right away, put on a happy face and pretend you do.  Its the holiday season, retailers are scrambling for help they can actually put out on the sales floor right now. Even if it doesnt turn into a permanent job it is something recent for your resume. Once thats updated, the rest wil be smoother sailing.

Good luck
DV



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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 5:44:07 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		how about grouphome work?   that IS teaching.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 6:19:11 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		See if you can get a position as an aide at a school, or lunch monitor. That would give you the opportunity to see teaching from the teacher's viewpoint. Could you get a CDL-B and get a position as a bus driver? Pay is about $15 per hour around here, but it requires a lot of patience.

That would allow you to go part time for your degree, and you could do a lot of online courses.

Since you don't live with your parents, their income should not matter. If they're not paying your bills, tell them not to declare you as a dependent.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/21/2008 6:25:55 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 6:22:30 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Have you gotten a 'script for the one pill dosing of diflucan?  That will take care of one of the issues in your opening statement.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 7:28:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...Since you don't live with your parents, their income should not matter. If they're not paying your bills, tell them not to declare you as a dependent...


it doesn't matter if they claim her as a dependent(or not) or if she lives with them (or not).
what matters to federal student financial aid is the income and assets of the parents/step-parents she last lived with, until she is 25, unless she is a veteran, both of her parents are deceased, or she was a ward of the court before turning 18.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 7:47:45 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...Since you don't live with your parents, their income should not matter. If they're not paying your bills, tell them not to declare you as a dependent...


it doesn't matter if they claim her as a dependent(or not) or if she lives with them (or not).
what matters to federal student financial aid is the income and assets of the parents/step-parents she last lived with, until she is 25, unless she is a veteran, both of her parents are deceased, or she was a ward of the court before turning 18.


That's what I ran into when at the age of 19 and living on my own without financial help from my parents, I was denied financial aid.

I worked two jobs and went to school, along with a bunch of other people I knew. Hard stuff, but you do what you gotta do. I stopped for the dumb reason that the man I was to marry didn't want me in school. Now I'm back, working, and progressing much more slowly than before, yet still progressing.

It can be done, if you want it badly enough. Your post reminded me of my oldest brother, who, at the age of 35, was married with two little ones, totally broke working at a deli for $8 an hour, and living on government assistance. His wife finished her Masters and got a great job as a speech pathologist and he went back to school, having to drive an hour each way to the nearest university. A few years later, he graduated and now, 10 years later, he is the head of the math department at a local high school, and loving every aspect about his life. His oldest son took 7 years to finish college and is now a math teacher in Southern California and loving it. He finished school at the age of 25 and is in his 2nd year of teaching.

You are 22 and as much as you probably don't want to hear it, you are just starting out. There is plenty of time to make mistakes, to remedy them, and to make what you want of your life. I probably won't get my degree until I'm 50, but I'll still get it! There is so much to embrace about life - open your eyes to it and enjoy!

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 9:06:30 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		I am not going to say anything personally about it, but you should take heed that some took your post as whining or moaning. I'll not pass that judgement because I know there are dfferences in how people percieve things as well as express themselves. However as the communicator, you have to take into account just how you are percieved, and if some people think you are whining or moaning, take that as advice.

What I mean is that a perspective employer may see it that way as well.

Also realize the economy sucks, and if at your stage in life right now in these times you can make $9/hour, take it. It's not the cat's meow but it will keep you out of the poorhouse.

What's more if you can't stand the classroom you probably won't do all that well there. There are other ways to learn. Correspondence and online courses are available which are accredited, which means the credits count. There is also self study you can do aforehand to give yourself a little edge. Also, to that end, Google and wiki are your friend. You don't need to spend hours in a library like in the old days.

If you don't know by chance, if you washed out of college three times DON'T put that down on a job application. Don't take that the wrong way, I have seen alot of pretty smart people make some pretty stupid mistakes.

And I can't leave this out, as it s very important - don't keep doing what doesn't work !. People tend to make the same mistakes over and over, the younger you are when you stop doing that the better. Look at all your options and reevaluate yourself as well. For example I find it a bit ironic that someone who wants to be a teacher would not enjoy the classroom setting. You like standing up in front of a bunch of people ? You could go far that way. There are alot of people who can't do it. You could be presenting seminars.

You could go into commissioned sales, they'll take almost anyone and how you do at it is in your own hands. I know there are some dud jobs out there, but there are some good ones as well. Nothing happens until something is sold. Sometimes the right voice can make you money, a friend of mine went for voice training last year, not for singing, for announcing. He was told that the guy who said "You've got mail" is now a millionaire. Not that he gets royalties every time it's used, but for every copy of their software he gets something, and while they upgrade frequently they have kept that voice for quite some time.

Can you drive well ? If you have a clean license that is an asset, you could even drive a truck. You might not like it but it easily breaks the nine buck barrier. You could also make very good money doing route sales, this is something like driving a bread truck, but more complex and lucrative. No heavy lifting though.

This is before your time, but Mr Spock said "There are always alternatives". He almost got proven wrong once on the show, almost. OK it was only a TV show but I think it says alot.

In other words, you are looking for a job, how bad do you want one ? If you have a clean driving record, don't smoke pot and can drive a full size van you should be able to easily make over $10/hour.

You can't always get what you want. I don't like what I do at all. I have a good job doing it, in other ways. Thing is I would rather do something else but nothing would make me what I want to make. So I do what I do. Even at 48 literally with about 28 years of experience my options are limited.

However in my experience I have found that there are more limitations percieved than actually exist. Hope the time doesn't come when I have to take my own advice :-)

And it doesn't matter, by the time you get to my age you are not going to like anything about work no matter what.

T

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Where am I? - 11/21/2008 9:30:26 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		For one Im not talking from a pedestal. Im talking from experience. The op is just starting her life. If she needs a boot in the ass to get her motivated then give it to her. Looks like her parents already did. Sounds to me like she wants everything handed to her. If she wants to be a teacher and be with kids take a nanny job. See if can handle the kids first. I personally know Nannys who make a lot more money than I do. Get rid of the negative attitude and get a positive one.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 20
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