RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (Full Version)

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Aszhrae -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 2:56:58 PM)

It's quite simple really, it's about fulfillment.
The dominant completes the sub/slave, just as the sub/slave completes the dominant.
Girl is wanting to know if others have found that with their dominants. Or, if dominants have found that with their sub/slave.
That perhaps girl might also find it, as others seem so far to have done.
It's hope and a little optimism of a future possibility for girl.
It has offered girl some insight into some of those here in CM.
Does the dominant find themselves made whole by their sub/slave? (getting to know those here in CM that are dominant)
Does the sub/slave feel that serving their dominant that their dedication has made them whole?(getting to know what the majority of those in CM that currently serve a dominant)
Certainly the purpose of the thread requires a certain measure of reveal, but without getting to deep into the philosophy, psychology and theology of being sub/slave and dominant. (of course reference being made to doctrine, psyche and spirit)
Do you feel whole?





Fizzgig168 -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 3:07:58 PM)

I feel like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.  I feel safe.  I feel complete. 
...Which is, I suppose, to say that yes, I feel whole, lol..  



IvyMorgan -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 3:22:11 PM)

I can be with people who I care for and about, who create a sense of stillness, calm, and peace.  They are few and far between, some of them are dominants.

There are times in a scene, where I do feel connected to the person I'm playing with, or some sort of "spiritual" feeling.  That happens more when I'm on top, but is more fulfilling when I am on the bottom.

Kink is not *always* spiritual for me, 99 times out of 100 it isn't, but, growing up, kink *was* a part of how I expressed myself spiritually, and how some of the people around me expressed themselves spiritually, and so, it's kinda ingrained.



Padriag -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 3:53:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Does the dominant find themselves made whole by their sub/slave? (getting to know those here in CM that are dominant)
Do you feel whole?

I feel whole because I already am.  Having a slave in my life doesn't make me whole, but it can make me smile, it can bring happiness and pleasure to my life... a slave can improve the quality of my life.

But I am whole even while alone... and happy.



oceanwynds -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 4:01:21 PM)

My submissive nature has only recently been accepted by me. There is something within me that comes alive when serving Sir. In his dominance, my whole being comes alive. Sir, gets what he wants, when he wants it, how he wants and where he wants it, and their is something within me that just blossoms with this.

Through this has come a sharper and closer connection for me to the Goddess that I serve. There is a bond there and I have discovered that i am not prone to resisting what Goddess or Sir seeks from me. Mind you Goddess to me means a diety, not a human female. I have lived a pagan lifestyle for over 30 years, and have had very deep connections with the Goddess Pele, who i serve. Opening up and acknowledging my submissive nature, through Sir's help has taken me into a deeper spiritual connection, then I ever had.

One other point though to keep in mind, I could not be with anyone emotionally who does not have a strong spiritual aspect to them. My spiritual idenity is the strongest part of me.

My final point is that Sir and I do have a spiritual cord between us. We both feel it when together or apart.

blessings
oceanwynds



alianora -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 4:01:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Girl has been thinking, inspired by the mistresses that girl has met so far in CM and figuring on starting such a thread about philosophy and spiritualism of being a submissive or dominant.
Speaking as a submissive, girl feels a connection to master, well beyond the physical at times when master disciplines, or when mistress pets girl while girl is sitting at mistress' feet.
Do others feel such things when dominant and sub/slave are together or is it just physical and stayed at distance?


I read through the whole thread but decided to answer your original questions that were posted.
 
What do I ‘get’ when I submit? Well, if you are asking what is exchanged for my submission, then the answer is nothing. I am not submissive because of what I may be able to ‘get’ from the Dominant. I am submissive because that is who I am; a submissive person.
 
Of course, not being in a relationship at this time, I can not with honesty say what I could ‘feel’ towards another; it differs from person to person and relationship to relationship.

All I ask for while in a relationship is the chance to be myself without restrictions; there is no limit to what that could include though.



Lockit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 4:04:10 PM)

I do not need anyone to feel whole.  I do however love how a relationship enhances my life and knowing that I am enhancing someone else's life.  We are all human and we all get something from the person we are with or we wouldn't be with them.  A spiritual connection?  Well that depends on the people.  Can people have a spiritual connection?  Of course.  Can a dominant get as much from the submissive as the submissive does the dominant, sure, but that too depends on the people.

We cannot find our happiness on a whole from another person, but they can make us happy.  If you are not somewhat happy and whole in yourself you will be challenged in feeling spiritual connections with another because you may not even be connected within.  I do believe people can give us fill ups, but we kind of need to have and own the tank and keep it in good repair or a fill up will just leak out.

We are all human and dominant and submissive alike can and do go through the human experience pretty much the same... just with maybe some differences in how we view it or live it.  We have similar emotions for the most part.



persephonee -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 4:51:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Does the dominant find themselves made whole by their sub/slave? (getting to know those here in CM that are dominant)
Do you feel whole?

I feel whole because I already am.  Having a slave in my life doesn't make me whole, but it can make me smile, it can bring happiness and pleasure to my life... a slave can improve the quality of my life.

But I am whole even while alone... and happy.


zactly.



Aszhrae -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 7:22:41 PM)

Is girl to believe that the majority of dominants that replied to the thread do not feel completed by the presence of their sub/slave?
Girl does not believe that for a moment
Girl believes the dominant can not exist without feeling some sort attachment. It can not be all about gratification. There has to be more. Why else would a dominant make such requests as LTR, TPE or request that their sub/slave consider RACK?
You can not have girl believe that dominants have no iota of attachment to their sub/slave? Feeling no benefit from have their sub/slave kneel before them with head  bowed in submission without getting something from that empowerment beyond the physical.



Lockit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 7:35:37 PM)

I do believe you are confusing some word meanings here.  Attachment, emotion and love have nothing to do with feeling complete or being completed by another person.  We of course love, like, respect, are affected by the person we are with. However we may not be completed by them.  We cannot dominate over them if they are not there and in that respect may need them to live out our dominance, but that too doesn't have anything to do with completing us as a person.  We are not dependent upon them to be complete, but may be very attached to them.



MadRabbit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 7:43:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Is girl to believe that the majority of dominants that replied to the thread do not feel completed by the presence of their sub/slave?
Girl does not believe that for a moment
Girl believes the dominant can not exist without feeling some sort attachment. It can not be all about gratification. There has to be more. Why else would a dominant make such requests as LTR, TPE or request that their sub/slave consider RACK?
You can not have girl believe that dominants have no iota of attachment to their sub/slave? Feeling no benefit from have their sub/slave kneel before them with head  bowed in submission without getting something from that empowerment beyond the physical.



Okay.

You gotta us.

We're all lying.

Your quick.

But seriously, forming an attachment with somebody and having it benefit and enrich your life does not quantify to some kind of codepency where we all NEED to be in a relationship or NEED to be with a slave or submissive to find personal fulfillment.

In my not too humble opinion, the dsyfunctionality of relationships stems from this kind of emotional issue. I consider being whole and fulfilled by one's self to be a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. Or the very least, any partner of mine.

At the very least, it's a liability for a dominant for when he has to make the hard decisions.



Lockit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 7:50:31 PM)

Let me ask this.  Do you feel you need a dominant to be complete as a person?  Do you feel that you could respect a boss, parent, leader or dominant if they were only complete if you were in their life?

Personally I believe any submissive or anyone else in my life, enhances my life.  If I am not whole in myself... with of course room for need of some improvement maybe... then I am in no position to be a leader of anything or to be in a relationship.



Aszhrae -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 8:06:16 PM)

Is it considered a weakness to have the sense of being, of belonging that like puzzle pieces that the dominants sub/slave completes them. That the empowerment to be dominated is such that if you (the dominant) and another (sub/slave) started in one room and ended up going through the rooms of the house or apartment. That with such fervor that both were energized by each others presence that exhaustion was not a factor but only a breather before starting another session. Could a dominant even conceive that there was a sharing beyond the physical, though it is the physical that is being pleasured by both involved. The mind loses all awareness of time, as it matters little. The spirit is such that the dominant and sub/slave continue in continued fervor from one session to the next without hesitation.
Have you ever encountered this as a dominant with your sub/slave?
Or is it fear that such a thing might occur that dominants have to steel themselves against it?
Personally, if a mistress made girl feel like that again, girl would be devoted to the will of the mistress without question.



Lockit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 8:36:41 PM)

What makes you believe that a dominant cannot conceive of the idea of more than just physical benefits from their submissive?  I think that most have said there is more... why can you not hear us?



babygirlkitten -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 8:45:08 PM)

I don't feel the need to have a Dominant or submissive to complete me or make me whole. I'd rather have someone that compliments me. That goes with me. That gets me, that meshes well. If I needed someone to complete me and make me whole, I would have to seriously consider whether or not I was ready for any sort of relationship.



Lockit -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 8:47:49 PM)

Bingo!



NihilusZero -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 10:15:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirlkitten

I'd rather have someone that compliments me.

Nice shoes.

[:D]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 10:53:40 PM)

My relationships are complete when those in them are actively involved and true to themselves.

My life is complete by my own choices and sense of self.



Aszhrae -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 11:02:08 PM)

Some have said that, which girl did say that they have mentioned, but others that have replied to this thread have not really answered the thread. It really does make girl consider that where some are concerned what they have replied is genuine. With others, girl is not so sure. Simply put there are those here that girl would trust, as for others, girl has better individuals to serve.



DavanKael -> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? (11/22/2008 11:09:38 PM)

I believe we are not meant to be alone, that we are meant to share our lives with others.  Power dynamics are everywhere and I desire, in my life, the elevation of power dynamics with my partner in a way that venerates the strengths we each have, building together, and tending to and/or transmuting weaknesses together.  Solidity, stability, commitment, love. 
  Davan



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