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Curiosity - 11/22/2008 10:36:27 AM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		As some of you already know, and most of you will find out eventually. I have a fairly insatiable curiosity and desire to learn new things. That being said, this thread is in no way designed to start a fight, I am just curious as to why there are such mixed feelings on certain things.

My question is: Why do some lifestyle dommes look down on the pro's? Or the ones who do financial domination or require tributes? Everyone has their own different kinks, obviously, but I try not to be judgmental about things even if I don't understand the interest in it or it isnt for me. Do those that do not agree feel that money and kink should be kept separately?

Please don't fight or start flinging poop. I just wanted opinions so that I might see the other side of things.
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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 10:44:30 AM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		 
   Having done both - the only real reason I can come up with , is that some folks seem to feel uncomfortable with anything in life that is too different than what they choose to practice , or believe .  And then , for some that's not enough , and they need to take it even further , by spewing disparaging remarks about those "others" . 

     An unfortunate human thing .  

(in reply to mystickoolaid)
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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 10:49:55 AM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		My feeling is...Why not? I don't see any problem with it. It's like people who love animals working at a zoo. If you can do something you love for a living... I say go for it!

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 10:51:14 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I would love to know the answer to that myself.  Personally, I never had a problem when I worked as a professional, my friends in the local scene were kind of surprised that I hadn't been doing it all along.  But, in these parts (metro Detroit) many events, educational, party, etc. are run by or started by pro dominants who also have lives in the scene, personal submissives, etc. 

In the last five or so years, there has been a huge expansion of pro dominants who IN MY OPINION are basically out there for some cash, have no real idea about safety, play, protocol, or anything.  They're often young, hot, and ready to exploit.  As a person who knows what side of the predator/prey dichotomy she falls on, I really can't fault them for that.  There are so many men who say they want to "submit" but mean "I want to have kinky sex while you wear leather", that if the money gals take up some of that slack I can only say thank you. 

I loved being a pro dominant.   I wish I could go back to it.  It was tremendous fun  meeting new people, thinking up new ways to do things, fulfilling fantasies that had never crossed my mind, and learning new things.  (I am glossing over the bad stuff, of course).   As a pro, I introduced more than a few new men to the scene.  I made friends that I still have.  I made enough money to cover my overhead, and then some.   Being a pro did not affect my personal life, or change how I viewed my personal submissives--though it did mean I had a cool place to bring dates! 

There are those that feel that taking money for play cheapens what we do.  I think that those people shouldn't become pro dominants.  I do not think that I cheapened anything, I certainly did not compromise myself, and my clients were for the most part happy with what they got.  (Hey, you can't please everyone!)    I worked pretty hard to bring my clients OUT into the scene (I had a branch of Club FEM for five years) but for whatever reason, many were not into that. 

I would dearly love to be a financial dominant...  but I really don't think that financial submission exists outside of a fantasy!   I've had men want me to be their financial MANAGER, which believe me is work they would have to pay for.  Others just never follow through with what I ask for.  Is it so odd to want money to go to my charities?  Evidently that is not sexy enough!



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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 11:04:21 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Because some people think that being a whore is bad/wrong, and that pro domination = whoring.
Because some people like to have scapegoats, and blaming professional dominants for the shortcomings of the scene makes them feel better.
Because some people are frustrated with their own lives/financial situations and target anyone that they perceive as making "easy money."
Because some people feel intimidated by attractive women.

Basically, faulty logic.



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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 11:08:55 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Lovely!

Funny thing is, so many pro doms are not what I would call attractive...  We always checked out DDI thoroughly before planning our own ads, and some of those gals are downright... well...  unappealing. 

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 12:12:59 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

Because some people think that being a whore is bad/wrong, and that pro domination = whoring.

Basically, faulty logic.




Funny that some of those same people think things like fetish modeling and shoots like the "training of o" videos don't fall under the category of "whoring". A lot of pro dommes never touch anyone in a way that is sexual to them, while in fetish porn, the sub/slave gets violated every way from sunday while getting paid (sometimes thousands) for it. I never understood how some people can make that distinction. Seems backwards to me.

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 12:33:44 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Lovely!

Funny thing is, so many pro doms are not what I would call attractive...  We always checked out DDI thoroughly before planning our own ads, and some of those gals are downright... well...  unappealing. 



That is a lot better than meeting somebody and not recognizing them and they ask you if you haven't seen their add/website, you did but they don't remotely look like their pics... But maybe there are subbies who get off on serving Mistress Airbrushed :)

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:00:39 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Lovely!

Funny thing is, so many pro doms are not what I would call attractive...  We always checked out DDI thoroughly before planning our own ads, and some of those gals are downright... well...  unappealing. 



That is a lot better than meeting somebody and not recognizing them and they ask you if you haven't seen their add/website, you did but they don't remotely look like their pics... But maybe there are subbies who get off on serving Mistress Airbrushed :)


That is so funny.


Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure plenty of men are interested in the BBW's and not so attractive (to most of us)  Dommes, or they wouldnt still be in business.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:04:11 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

Because some people think that being a whore is bad/wrong, and that pro domination = whoring.

Basically, faulty logic.




Funny that some of those same people think things like fetish modeling and shoots like the "training of o" videos don't fall under the category of "whoring". A lot of pro dommes never touch anyone in a way that is sexual to them, while in fetish porn, the sub/slave gets violated every way from sunday while getting paid (sometimes thousands) for it. I never understood how some people can make that distinction. Seems backwards to me.



You know, I saw the original post, and figured you were going to get back to that whoring point somehow.

I figured the OP was a little rich, coming from someone who thinks I am whoring myself out for money and calling it art. ;)

Remember folks, it's ok to WATCH porn... but heaven forbid you ever make one.





< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 11/22/2008 1:07:52 PM >

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:15:42 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I only made private ones... does that count?

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:19:11 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I only made private ones... does that count?


Not unless you sell them! The moment money comes into play, everyone's little moral feelers are hurt.

(feelers---> )





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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:29:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I only made private ones... does that count?


Not unless you sell them! The moment money comes into play, everyone's little moral feelers are hurt.

(feelers---> )




Shoot, once my fees were paid, who KNOWS where those films are!  Could be there are some smother flicks featuring one of my finer views... I want royalties, dagnabbit!

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:41:38 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

Because some people think that being a whore is bad/wrong, and that pro domination = whoring.

Basically, faulty logic.




Funny that some of those same people think things like fetish modeling and shoots like the "training of o" videos don't fall under the category of "whoring". A lot of pro dommes never touch anyone in a way that is sexual to them, while in fetish porn, the sub/slave gets violated every way from sunday while getting paid (sometimes thousands) for it. I never understood how some people can make that distinction. Seems backwards to me.



You know, I saw the original post, and figured you were going to get back to that whoring point somehow.

I figured the OP was a little rich, coming from someone who thinks I am whoring myself out for money and calling it art. ;)

Remember folks, it's ok to WATCH porn... but heaven forbid you ever make one.






I never said that. I don't care if you make or watch it. Neither one is my bag. I was just commenting on something that seems to be backwards logic. It wasn't the point of the original post at all, just replying to someone else who brought it up.

If you don't like me, then just ignore me and leave me alone. Stop finding ways to make assumptions about me and trash talk on the threads.

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:46:23 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Perhaps if you don't like fetish models, porn stars, and all of those other icky people, you should find another website?  Sending them hate mail through CM doesn't accomplish too much. ;)

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:49:32 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

(I finally get to use that icon!!)



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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:50:03 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		I never said I hated you for what you do. Stop putting words in my mouth. Stop being rude to me. This is the BDSM site, not the fetish model site. I don't have to worship at your feet because you have sex on film. What you do, is your business. I'm just not a big fan of porn. Mostly because I have no use for it. 

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:52:01 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65



(I finally get to use that icon!!)




It's not jerry unless there's angry midgets in cake!


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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:53:27 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65



(I finally get to use that icon!!)




It's not jerry unless there's angry midgets in cake!



Must have missed that episode. LOL

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RE: Curiosity - 11/22/2008 1:56:19 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Perhaps if you don't like fetish models, porn stars, and all of those other icky people, you should find another website?  Sending them hate mail through CM doesn't accomplish too much. ;)

Oh hell, Lynn.  For real?  Mystic and I have been getting along great so far, but this would put the brakes on it reeeeeel fast.  If you listed my favorite women in the world, two of them used to be pro dommes, one used to be an escort, and another used to be a stripper.  One now has a boatload of money, and two others have multiple Masters degrees.

On thread topic: it pisses pisses pisses me off when pro dommes and BDSMers in general say that pro dommes are "better" than prostitutes.  I love-as-a-friend a woman who used to be a prostitute, and she's one of the most intelligent, giving people I've ever met in my life.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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