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How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 1:19:11 PM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		I was given a second chance by mistress and were given simple directions to post on the message boards here but didnt take the time to do so and upset her. I feel like a piece of crap for doing so. MY mistress has never done anything wrong to me. All she has done was show me the way and teach me the "ropes". I can honestly say that I dont think she will forgive me. I will do my best to make it up to her. Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 1:34:54 PM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		Didn't she already do that - and you failed to do what she asked? You couldn't follow her simple directions... not much chance you'll follow the simple directions of total strangers.

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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 1:51:40 PM   
SarahnNV


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline 		Was there a legitimate reason you to not obey Her instructions or that She was not your priority?  You need to ask yourself that and you will come up with your own answers.

(in reply to apiercedkitty)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 1:56:11 PM   
EnchantedForest


Posts: 2
Status: offline 		You can start by doing what she asked and asking her what else you can do to please her.

(in reply to SarahnNV)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 1:57:24 PM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		The reason i didnt is because i kept making excuses and didnt realize how important it was. I do care for her very much.

(in reply to EnchantedForest)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 2:06:35 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		If you care for her as much as you say, then you should know that anything she requests you to do is very important, or she wouldn't have wanted you to do the task. Seems to me that obeying is done only when it's convenient for you. Good luck.

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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 2:28:55 PM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		When given a command by your Miss, follow through.  If you want to make excuses, fine, write them down, then throw them away and push past it. 

The command was a rather simple one, read and post. 

The real question is not will she forgive you?  Nor is it why didn't you do it? 
The question you should ask is, "Why was I making excuses?" 

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 2:32:14 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		i don't have a lot to add to the others, except for one thing.  You said you didn't realize how "important" it was to her, which seems more than a bit of a cop out to me.  When our owners make a request, important or not, it should be "important" to us to follow through, and therefore please them, even if only in "small" ways.

Just my take on it...
jiminie

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 3:33:22 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thatstheway

I was given a second chance by mistress and were given simple directions to post on the message boards here but didnt take the time to do so and upset her. I feel like a piece of crap for doing so. MY mistress has never done anything wrong to me. All she has done was show me the way and teach me the "ropes". I can honestly say that I dont think she will forgive me. I will do my best to make it up to her. Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?


So it was the "second" chance and it was pretty simple and straight forward and you blew it?  Your chances may be lost.

I'll offer one piece of advice, or an observation, just in case it applies or if some other sub is reading this who might have screwed up in a similar manner.  You have to take a serious and long look at yourself.  What is it about your inability to obey?  Why is it?  I have had experiences with some subs who were very obedient and always screwed up, in short order, but then in a matter of days came crawling back, pleading for a second chance, or a third, and while they could follow dramatic and intense sexual commands to the letter, they failed miserably at the crucial, tiny little orders.  Like "call me tomorrow," or "send me a short email before you go to bed" or "drop me a line at the end of the weekend and summarize your thoughts."  .

Ok - so why?  Why is this the case?  If you find, that as a sub, your ability to *obey* tends to wax and wane, you have to get a handle on that. You either have to realize that you will never be in a successful relationship with a femdom if you cannot be consistent and are doomed to constant flings. Or, you have to be brutally honest with her and yourself about your flakiness - and figure out why it's so.  Either you are just a bottom, and you don't care enough to want to commit for the long haul (which is fine, but find partners who want the same thing), or your ability and desire to submit runs in cycles parallel to your sex drive. Horny = very able to submit, mostly to fun and sexual tasks.  Not so horny = lazy, the little rules seem boring, hard to focus, oops I forgot, damn I forgot again! Oops!  And the cycle goes on and on...

Honesty and communication are key above all.  Femdoms have a lot of options. If she totally digs you during "playtime" and things gel very nicely, she might be willing to put up with the drama for the short term, but it gets old quickly.  Femdoms are often likely to tolerate a little less lustful connection in return for consistency and a sub who does as told and doesn't randomly turn into a flake.  That kind of drama might work with vanilla women who like a bad boy or a guy who seems hard to 'tame,' but femdoms tend to tire of the bullshit faster.

Akasha


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(in reply to thatstheway)
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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 3:35:51 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

I will do my best to make it up to her. Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?

One way to start would be to stop making it all about you.


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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 4:45:06 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:


One way to start would be to stop making it all about you.


I agree totally Celticlord
Dreamer

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 5:23:50 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Celticlord hit the nail on the head!  If one is so caught up in how they feel... what they think is important or not and are not listening to their partner, they have no partner!  It is all about them.  You can go into what should be done, you can advise and instruct and go over it repeatedly, but until the first problem is addressed, it will continue to be a problem.

If I remember correctly you posted something similar not too long ago.  You felt like crap.  Okay you f up and feel like crap... you f up again and feel like crap, but you know... all I see is a pattern of f'ing up, feeling like crap and claiming you care about her so much you can't bear that you were such a crappy person to her.  Give it a rest dude.  Nobody is buying it and neither should she.  Your public displays of crappy feeling and actions from ignornace isn't showing anything except that you are self focused and can't see past your nose.

Now... if you really want change, you will bring it about without the manipulative 'I feel like crap... I didn't know... I am so sorrry... but I love you's '.  Get real.  I might sound a bit harsh here, but I see a pattern and even if she won't call you on it... you can beat the people around here will.  Most will offer to help... but you first have to see the real problem and be willing to actually do the work to get the help and that doesn't mean moaning on a message board.

Depsite my harsh... I do wish you well... but it is time to stop with the game of it and get on to actually proving any real love you might feel.  Step outside of you or find out why you can't step outside of you.  Do you not trust her or yourself?  Do you fear what is going on or do you think you know better what should be done.  You know.. figure out why you do what you do.  A thread about it every few weeks isn't going to help.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 5:42:48 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		The advice I will offer is pretty simple.  Someone once said, "I'll die for you!"  I said, "That's great, but will you live for me?"  It is not in the grand gestures.  It's in the every day and mundane.

lovingpet

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 5:45:37 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		perfect.

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 5:47:58 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		I think you are far from harsh.   I mean it's so common and so tiring, seems to be all you run into now days.    Mostly I am seeing that they "screw up" because it's just a net game with them, we are  not real people so we don't matter and are far from a priority.   They will crawl back, say a few nice words be accepted back, then blow it all off yet again.    Vicious cycle for Dom/Domme, sub/slave, male/female.

Until people like him realize that people on the other side of the keyboard are real people, and are serious in what we seek, it will continue....so I won't hold my breath...lol

Most just want a virtual mate for about a week and move on, and usually crawl back when they've ticked off everyone else and no one else will speak with them and then they remember that you were actually nice and respectful to them.

sorry for the soapbox....have one emailing me now as we speak that has run this game so many times....I've only given two chances....but he still tries every few months but he can't even commit long enough to get me to trust him enough to give him another chance....LOL

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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 6:06:08 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thatstheway
I was given a second chance by mistress and were given simple directions to post on the message boards here but didnt take the time to do so and upset her. I feel like a piece of crap for doing so. MY mistress has never done anything wrong to me. All she has done was show me the way and teach me the "ropes". I can honestly say that I dont think she will forgive me. I will do my best to make it up to her. Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?


Hi, thatstheway----
I recall responding to your posts on the previous thread that you started. 
Has the Mistress you mentioned offered you another opportunity to earn her forgiveness? 
  Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 7:38:09 PM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Once again it will be said........anything your Mistress asks of you, no matter how inconsequential it sounds to you , is very important.
It sorta off sounds like She may of been testing you to see if you would Her obey this time.
i wish you the best of luck in hoping that She will forgive you.
If She does forgive you this time try OBEYING Her this time.

good luck!
kristi

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 8:02:30 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thatstheway

Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?


Yes.  Ask her what you can do to earn her forgiveness.  
 
Whatever my Master tells me to do is always important to me because He wants it.  Obedience is my primary duty and i wouldn't think of not doing something my Master told me to do. 
 
joy
Master David's erotic-domestic slave

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Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Dr. Howard Thurman

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RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 8:22:57 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's fine to feel sorry for screwing up the first time and she was forgiving and asked you to do a simple act for her. The thing is, you screwed up again which isn't good. In essence, you broke her trust when you followed through on her request at your leisure. In a D/s relationship, we need to fully understand that our dom's needs and wants come first and ours come after.


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How I screwed up... - 11/22/2008 8:44:58 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		My Sir matters to me, so when i went to the supermarket this morning, i bought pumpkin pie and hairspray for him, because he asked me to.  No big deal - but these were things he told me he wanted, and since he matters to me, and i love him - i made it a point to get them.

Seems to me that your lady doesn't matter to you very much.  or at least not as much as you seem to think.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 20
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