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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/23/2005 5:15:28 AM

fldrkhorse

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know thyself grasshopper.

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/23/2005 2:46:14 PM

aurora31

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Thank you all for the wonderful advice and words of encouragement.

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/23/2005 4:31:44 PM

aurora31

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I wanted to take a moment and respond to some of the great advice I have recieved.

IrishMist
I would never let someone else define who I am. I am me and can be nothing more.

Sirandlittle1
I could not agree with you more.

Lady Zephyr
Once again you have given me some excelent advice and things to mull over. I very much appreciate that.

Knight of Mists
Yes you are right in saying I pretty much knew the answer already but I very much wanted to hear others opinions on the subject. I to wish you kyra and alandra a very happy holiday season and hope they bring you much happiness. BTW I still think I can scream louder....lol.

Candystripper
I very much see myself as you see yourself. I can not imagine being a mindless peice of property. I would hope that my future Master would find much joy in my mind and my opinions, but I also know his word would be final.

MasterRobert1
Right now I am very much concentrating on growing and learning. I am in no hurry to rush into something. Yet if the right opertunity presents itself do not think I will hesitate to take it. I am very much of the opinion that I would rather be alone then to be with the wrong person.

B1gbear
Yes I know much paitence is needed...not always the easiest thing to have though. Also I would never start out as a full slave. It will take much time and paitence for me to get to that point but I firmly believe that given the right Master I can and will get there.

Again I thank all who have responded I very much apreciate your thoughts and opinions.

aurora

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/23/2005 5:05:09 PM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aurora31

Let me say first that I am still fairly new to the lifestyle. I have grown and learned much in the last 10 months but feel I still have a long ways to go.

As time has passed I have come to identify more as slave vs sub. Those who advise me also see this tendency in me. I have yet to gain any experiances with TPE. This is something I very much look forward to. Because of this I can only base my thoughts on being slave vs sub on what I feel in my core. I am a very hands on person, I can not know if something is truely right for me until I have experianced it.

When talking to potential Doms/Masters I tend play these tendencies down. I do this mostly out of fear of misleading a potential Dom/Master. I would rather them think I am less submissive with the willingness to grow as oposed to over selling myself as something I am not capable of being. It has been brought to my attention that in doing this I may be selling myself short and that I will be less likely to fing a Dom/Master who can provide me with the level of control/domination that I need to find fulfillment in my submision.

I use Microsoft Word for a spell checker.

Because you have no experience, its impossible for you to really know what you are. You can think you have inklings, people can tell you damn near anything, but until you have some significant experience under your belt it makes complete sense to me that you wouldn't want to "sell yourself" as a slave. Its impossible to know if you are a submissive, let alone a slave.

C~

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 7:01:02 AM

aurora31

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I never said I have no experiance. Just that I have no experiance with TPE. Although my experiances are still very limited they are enough to give me insight into who I am and what I want/need.

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 9:20:15 AM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aurora31

I never said I have no experiance. Just that I have no experiance with TPE. Although my experiances are still very limited they are enough to give me insight into who I am and what I want/need.

I'm not trying to tell you what you are or what you are not. But with ten months under your belt, and even if you spent all of that time actively serving someone I wouldn't still say that you have enough experience to know for sure if you are a slave. So to me it makes sense to not present yourself as X but perhaps say that you think that its something you may have an interest in, with the obvious understanding that what we think we are doesn't translate into us being that. I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but I don't think slave is a label to toss around lightly or without something behind it.

C~

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"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 9:57:29 AM

Delvin

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Selling anything tends to mislead though maybe not the intention there is usually something in the background that "needs" to be sold with the package that isn't normally discussed until after the purchase. Honesty absolutely which for me seems to go against the whole "selling" thing. Never met a salemans I liked.

One of the hardest questions to answer during an interview is; What are some of your bad habbits or less then average qualities? Job interviews tend to be brutal at times.

Who are you? What do you want? Where do you want to go in this life? Answer these, then simply begin the process with people to find the same ideals and goals.

Sometimes we tend to forget that simply sitting down and having a nice chat has a huge impact. Be honest and be upfront, don't worry about selling anything, simply be...you.

I prefer the slave to have the bad qualities as well, this way I know she is still human :)

Best wishes

D

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 10:37:53 AM

aurora31

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The thing I hate most about the forms or chat is that you can not hear tone of voice which tell so much of ones true meaning. No Ofence was taken Wildfluers At this point in time I would never try to present myself as slave as I know I still have a very long road to travel to get there. And the one thing that I have learned more then anything in my explorations so far is that I truely do not know until I try. Something I stated in the OP. All I was trying to say and not very effectivly at that is that I have gotten a small taste and that I want more...every new experiance makes the desire for more stronger in me. I work very hard to temper this with paitence and often make myself step back and look at what I am doing. Or if I feel I am to cuaght up in things I seek out the advice of trusted friends who very quickly get my feet back on the ground.

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 10:46:04 AM

aurora31

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Yes selling was a bad way to state things. I do not wish to hide any part of who I am. But also I do not wish to unintentionally deceive some one based on what I think I may want. Again I can not truely know tell I have tried.

As to the who, what and where those answers are ever changing with each new experiance each new disusion I have with my advisors. And yes nice long chats have already had huge impacts and will continue to do so. I realize I still have a very long road to travel.

aurora

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 10:50:50 AM

brightspot

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quote:

Personally my advice is to just be honest about who you are, how you feel, your doubts and fears included.

I agree with the above statement.

*Brightspot

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 10:59:31 AM

addcted2it

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aruroa 31,

I agree with the others who have replied to your question. It is very important that you be true to yourself, but also that you do not second-guess your potential Dom or partner, because we cannot know what is in other people's minds, or how they will react in certain situations. I am also hard-wired as more of a slave than a submissive, so I can understand your concern and motivation. Again, just relax, be yourself, and enjoy the ride. Good luck to you!

- addcted2it

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RE: Selling myself short? - 12/24/2005 11:19:49 AM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aurora31

The thing I hate most about the forms or chat is that you can not hear tone of voice which tell so much of ones true meaning. No Ofence was taken Wildfluers At this point in time I would never try to present myself as slave as I know I still have a very long road to travel to get there. And the one thing that I have learned more then anything in my explorations so far is that I truely do not know until I try. Something I stated in the OP. All I was trying to say and not very effectivly at that is that I have gotten a small taste and that I want more...every new experiance makes the desire for more stronger in me. I work very hard to temper this with paitence and often make myself step back and look at what I am doing. Or if I feel I am to cuaght up in things I seek out the advice of trusted friends who very quickly get my feet back on the ground.

It sounds like you are doing the right things, and definitely the more patient you can be, the less you'll regret things years later.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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