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Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 3:53:30 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
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So ladies... How important is the orgasm to you?  Is it the number one thing you want from your submissive?  In the top three?  In the top five?

Akasha


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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 3:58:26 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		When I want one, I get it. It isnt in a ranked system, I only worry about them when I am in the mood for them. I have far more on my mind to get from him than orgasms.

DV

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:17:40 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		It isn't a subbies job to be used for orgasms. Sorry.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:18:46 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

When I want one, I get it. It isnt in a ranked system, I only worry about them when I am in the mood for them. I have far more on my mind to get from him than orgasms.

DV

-"I have far more on my mind to get from him than orgasms." true.

-Ya get it when ya want it.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:20:42 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		I have vanilla girlfriends who have a lot of sex with their men. Thats cool. None of my domme friends have sex with their submissives, though if you were catering to a BOTTOMS needs, I suppose as a TOP you would want an orgasm after YOU slaved over him.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:22:09 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Orgasm's are very important to me.  Number one on a list... no.  Hell I can have them by myself if it is that big a deal.  It is everything else that comes with the big O's that matter.  The whole sum of things.  The big picture.  I want it all.

I do not top... my submissive's have and will in the future have sex with me and we will have a relationship.  He is there for my use if I chose to use him.  I tend to love him so use is more an aspect of play.  If some dominant's dont have sex with their submissive's... all good, but at my house... we are having sex!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/23/2008 4:25:21 PM >

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:27:05 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

None of my domme friends have sex with their submissives


Just out of curiosity... why?

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 4:32:54 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		In my case, that's not what I use mine for. I have vanilla males for that.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:01:07 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

I have vanilla girlfriends who have a lot of sex with their men. Thats cool. None of my domme friends have sex with their submissives, though if you were catering to a BOTTOMS needs, I suppose as a TOP you would want an orgasm after YOU slaved over him.


Ah.  Thanks for reminding us about the One True Way of Domination.  It would appear that some of us have been most remiss in thinking that our d/s relationships were about what *we* wanted.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:03:35 PM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		  For me , my sub is also my partner/boyfriend/lover - so you bet there's sex !   As for orgasms - they're delicious - but not the end all and be all of making love .    Sometimes I want 'em - sometimes I could care less .   It's the overall connection that counts - the heat , the trust , the closeness , the touching .     Ah-h-h !     

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:04:40 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Orgasms are never my primary goal.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:12:15 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

quote:

None of my domme friends have sex with their submissives


Just out of curiosity... why?



Because there are lots of things to do with subs that don't involve sex and of ways to reach an orgasm without having it if that's what the Dom/me is in the mood for.

For me, "I don't have sex with slaves/subs" generally means what most would consider vanilla male penetrating female sex.  Submission is not just about kinky sex.  If that is all that a sub wants with me, then I don't want him.  Period. 

If during a session, I suddenly do get 'overwhelmed' and want to climax... then I will instruct my sub how to get me there.  That doesn't mean that HE gets to have any pleasure out of it.  I hope you don't need me to draw you a picture of what I'm talking about.

---And to the original question,  sexual climax is not usually my top priority.  But then, I'm a 'challenge' so I'm used to not 'arriving at my destination.'  If I'm know I'm not going to get anywhere with that, then my boy sure as heck isn't going to have that pleasure either.


< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 11/23/2008 5:14:20 PM >

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:18:35 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

It isn't a subbies job to be used for orgasms. Sorry.


Gee, and I was foolish enough to think that a subbie's job depended on what his/her domina wanted. I guess femdoms can't decide for themselves after all.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:26:53 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

.......though if you were catering to a BOTTOMS needs, I suppose as a TOP you would want an orgasm after YOU slaved over him.


and to THAT testimony, I say 'amen!'.  I did the whole top/bottom thing for awhle - almost made me hang up my crop for good. Oy - never again!

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:28:43 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

Because there are lots of things to do with subs that don't involve sex and of ways to reach an orgasm without having it if that's what the Dom/me is in the mood for.

For me, "I don't have sex with slaves/subs" generally means what most would consider vanilla male penetrating female sex.  Submission is not just about kinky sex.  If that is all that a sub wants with me, then I don't want him.  Period. 

If during a session, I suddenly do get 'overwhelmed' and want to climax... then I will instruct my sub how to get me there.  That doesn't mean that HE gets to have any pleasure out of it.  I hope you don't need me to draw you a picture of what I'm talking about.


Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not that I think all orgasms should be got from male/female penetrative sex, I was just curious as to why *all* her domme friends refused to have sex with their subs. I can understand people not wanting to reach orgasm that way, or not wanting to let a sub get their jollies, but I assume people in a loving D/s relationship would want to make love on occasion?

And nope, no pictures necessary. ;)

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:31:33 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I assume people in a loving D/s relationship would want to make love on occasion?



Haven't you been on the boards long enough to know that being reasonable is a kink we don't tolerate?

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:36:41 PM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

In my case, that's not what I use mine for. I have vanilla males for that.


Which doesn't really answer the question why?

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:39:17 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

though if you were catering to a BOTTOMS needs, I suppose as a TOP you would want an orgasm after YOU slaved over him.


Okay, I may be missing something here, but isn't a big part of being a Top, you know... enjoying taking part in the more physical aspects of BDSM? If not, then why identify as a Top? I'm not sure why you would assume that a Top is slaving over, or catering to a bottom's needs by tying them up and/or beating them. Isn't there every possibility that, in "catering" to a bottom, the Top might actually be enjoying themselves, too? I'm pretty sure that's the reason "Top" and "Domme" are separate labels.


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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:40:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It isn't very high on My list, but it might be in the top ten somewhere.  That's only after it is a long standing D/s dynamic.  Sorry, but all of the other hurdles have to be passed first.  The sexuality or any form of sexual service comes way down the road.  Call Me old fashioned, but I'd rather have intimacy, rather than sex.

Now, ask Me how high on the list things like S/m play, devotion, and service to the dynamic are for Me.  You'll get a much more enthusiastic answer.


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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/23/2008 5:41:54 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:


Haven't you been on the boards long enough to know that being reasonable is a kink we don't tolerate?


Eep. :( I'll get my coat, shall I?

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Profile   Post #: 20
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