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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 4:35:16 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

It isn't a subbies job to be used for orgasms. Sorry.


Gee, and I was foolish enough to think that a subbie's job depended on what his/her domina wanted. I guess femdoms can't decide for themselves after all.


I think she made that decision for herself perfectly well.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 4:43:57 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


So ladies... How important is the orgasm to you?  Is it the number one thing you want from your submissive?  In the top three?  In the top five?

Akasha



It's the "What I absolutely don't want from a submissive", I want that from my partner, would my partner be submissive then yes, it would be with him but not other submissives...

Sexually I am monogamous, when it comes to BDSM I am not (in short, I don't need to date a person to dominate him or her).

Not a rule for everybody, but one that works for me.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 5:21:09 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		For me... it depends .. on who, what and where -- it also depends on my relationship with the person...but overall orgasms are important to me... I like sex and I tend not to deny myself...

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 5:34:17 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

It isn't a subbies job to be used for orgasms. Sorry.


Gee, and I was foolish enough to think that a subbie's job depended on what his/her domina wanted. I guess femdoms can't decide for themselves after all.


I think she made that decision for herself perfectly well.


And also, as it appears, for everyone else.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 5:47:37 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

It isn't a subbies job to be used for orgasms. Sorry.


Gee, and I was foolish enough to think that a subbie's job depended on what his/her domina wanted. I guess femdoms can't decide for themselves after all.


I think she made that decision for herself perfectly well.


And also, as it appears, for everyone else.



I can't see ANYWHERE that she posted with other nicks but her own, and I would assume that anybody who posts something for just him or herself and not for everybody else. Simple logic or do you need a disclaimer with each post?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:28:51 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


So ladies... How important is the orgasm to you?  Is it the number one thing you want from your submissive?  In the top three?  In the top five?

Akasha



It's the "What I absolutely don't want from a submissive", I want that from my partner, would my partner be submissive then yes, it would be with him but not other submissives...

Sexually I am monogamous, when it comes to BDSM I am not (in short, I don't need to date a person to dominate him or her).

Not a rule for everybody, but one that works for me.


It seems there are a lot of femdoms that have the viewpoint that submissives don't get to give them orgasms.  Yet for male subs, the prospect of giving their domina this pleasure is the ultimate carrot. 

Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her?  How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.

Aside from cuckolds, it seems the potential submissive pool may be smaller if you take orgasms (for her) off the table.   True?

Dominant women -- are you able to happily get very turned on, get wet, without having an orgasm, after dominating your submissive partner? Or do you not only take orgasms off the table, you take sexual arousal off as well?

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 11/24/2008 7:29:33 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:32:45 AM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		What woman (especially a Dominant one) can't just do it herself if it is an urgent need? Probably much quicker and easier than someone else. Sometimes (if you have sexual aspects to your domination, some don't for various reasons) or even in a vanilla setting, it's fun to do things like this with another person... but if it were a dire need at some point, I'd probably do it myself so I could get on with my day. LOL

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:34:09 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her?  How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.


I dunno. It will just make me try harder each time.

Hey, if She's okay with no orgasm, its the least I can do.


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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:41:00 AM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

It seems there are a lot of femdoms that have the viewpoint that submissives don't get to give them orgasms.  Yet for male subs, the prospect of giving their domina this pleasure is the ultimate carrot. 

Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her?  How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.

Aside from cuckolds, it seems the potential submissive pool may be smaller if you take orgasms (for her) off the table.   True?

Dominant women -- are you able to happily get very turned on, get wet, without having an orgasm, after dominating your submissive partner? Or do you not only take orgasms off the table, you take sexual arousal off as well?

Akasha


The pool is smaller if you take orgasms off the table on either side. Most male subs AND Doms relationships in this lifestyle tend to be more sexual. I know a lot of male subs who never get to touch their female Doms, while most of the female submissives I know are REQUIRED to service their Master on a regular basis, in whatever way he wants. This is not always true, I have just observed this to be more common.

For the Dominant women getting turned on question... for some just having that control is very "hot", for others they are able to stay cool, even cold, calloused, and calculated in their Domination. Everyone has their own style, which can vary depending on the mood, the sub, the situation, etc.

I think it boils down to everyone doing things their *own* way and hopes to find (or has found) someone who's ideas mesh well for play or otherwise.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:46:51 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Dominant women -- are you able to happily get very turned on, get wet, without having an orgasm, after dominating your submissive partner? Or do you not only take orgasms off the table, you take sexual arousal off as well?

Akasha


I become incredibly aroused from topping someone.  If you take the orgasm out of it, I get even crabbier than I already am, which I know is really hard for some people to believe.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 7:54:32 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah. I won't be surprised if this turns out to be your new avatar 




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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 8:32:38 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

It seems there are a lot of femdoms that have the viewpoint that submissives don't get to give them orgasms.  Yet for male subs, the prospect of giving their domina this pleasure is the ultimate carrot. 

Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her?  How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.

Aside from cuckolds, it seems the potential submissive pool may be smaller if you take orgasms (for her) off the table.   True?

Dominant women -- are you able to happily get very turned on, get wet, without having an orgasm, after dominating your submissive partner? Or do you not only take orgasms off the table, you take sexual arousal off as well?

Akasha


I am not quite clear on the femdom thing, unless you mean a female dominant.

If a sub thinks the only way of giving me pleasure is an orgasm, then that is too narrow minded for me anyway and I'm simply not interested, in fact, letting a sub give me orgasms because he expects it, wouldn't that be rather submissive? Actually if I would have to "pay" with my orgasms, I'd rather give up BDSM completely.

The pool of potential subs isn't too small anyway, even if I take my orgasms away, and yes, I can get turned on without wanting to be sexually serviced by a submissive, but it's actually not what draws me to BDSM, arousal and orgasms are something that you can get fairly easy, good BDSM is much more of a challenge.


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 9:11:32 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		They don't rank terribly high... until I want one. Then I get one.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 9:56:01 AM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her? How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.


It would really depend on the domme in question, and the type of relationship or dynamic we had. When I have played casually with friends there has never been any sex involved. I understand feeling satisfied by D/s and s&m on its own without needing to have any kind of orgasm on my part, so it's not too much of a stretch to imagine a domme might feel the same way.

I guess the whole "orgasms off the table" thing would only be a deal-breaker for me if I had strong romantic and sexual feelings for someone. I'm more than ok with non-sexual play with friends and casual partners, but in a committed, romantic D/s relationship, I would hope that sex would be something we could share occasionally, even if not all the time. Any committed, romantic D/s relationship I would enter into would have to be about more than just D/s and kink, and that would involve physical intimacy (assuming at this point that I have overcome my twitchiness about it, lol).

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:00:11 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Told you you'd been spending too much time with that Peon fellow.  He's in line for a great deal worse than a spanking.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:06:59 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Boy and I are very clear that he put his body, mind, and heart into my service and my control. I can use the height and reach of him so that I don't have to go fetch the stepstool to get the poacher off the top of the cabinet. I can use the strength of him to move the sofa to clean behind it. Given that he comes with a cock and some skill in the manipulation thereof, why should I not use it when I would like some orgasms?

Besides, regular orgasms help with the chronic pain issues I've got, and seem to make my joints run smoother. It's one therapy I can actually afford easily.(grin) 


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:10:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		It all depends on whether or not we have a sexual relationship to begin with. If we do, then my orgasm if very important when we have sex and I generally want sex of some sort three times a week on average.

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RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:28:57 AM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

It all depends on whether or not we have a sexual relationship to begin with. If we do, then my orgasm if very important when we have sex and I generally want sex of some sort three times a week on average.


Out of curiosity, is that PER sub, or just in general, and those 3 times can come from anyone? (I am under the impression you have a poly household, correct me if I am wrong)

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:31:55 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		It seems there are a lot of femdoms that have the viewpoint that submissives don't get to give them orgasms.  Yet for male subs, the prospect of giving their domina this pleasure is the ultimate carrot. 

Subs - if you know you will *never* be able to give your femdom an orgasm, does that make you less likely to serve her?  How about if you know you are able to make her wet and turn her on, but will never get to see the act through to completion.

Aside from cuckolds, it seems the potential submissive pool may be smaller if you take orgasms (for her) off the table.   True?
 
Akasha, if I were to believe that all dominas believed that sex and orgasms were off the agenda with them, I'd sod off back to the land of vanilla without hesitation. 

In fact, when this issue came up recently on a different thread, I made a few shocked enquiries of my domina freinds with that very thought of ditching D/s strongly in mind. 

If there are a lot of men like me in this respect then that pool of subs you mention could quickly shrink into a tiny puddle - one which would barely quench the thirst of one single, femdom hamster!








< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 11/24/2008 10:33:49 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Femdoms: How important are your orgasms? - 11/24/2008 10:39:14 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I guess the whole "orgasms off the table" thing would only be a deal-breaker for me if I had strong romantic and sexual feelings for someone.
 
Of course it would be, Sodsta, and rightly so if you felt that way.  Personally, I'd establish that with a prospective domina at the outset and if I got a 'no', walk immediately.


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Profile   Post #: 60
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