any suggestions as to where i could learn?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

any suggestions as to where i could learn?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> any suggestions as to where i could learn?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 9:03:43 PM

silvergirl1

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

Hello,

Even tho I am not a really new submissive, I dont have a lot of experience either...The 2 previous Doms I interacted with simply allowed me to do as I wanted, so long as I was there when they wanted or needed me...
that being the case, I have never learned the Practicalities of this life... The Rules, The Protocols, The Postures that it seems most Doms/Sirs/Masters want and need and expect from one such as myself...
My question is,, how do I learn these things?... I believe there is general "manners" etc? ones that nearly every sub/slave knows?
I would like to improve myself, learn the basic "manners" of a sub, but i dont want to have to get involved with a Dom to do that... i do not consider myself ready to be with a Dom again yet...
thank you in advance,
silver

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 9:09:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

If you are already a mannerly adult, then there's nothing more to concern yourself with. Everything applies the same. Your particular partner might have specific ideas for you, but really, if you already know good manners, then you're set.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to silvergirl1)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 9:44:57 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

You need to turn this query inward. Find the ideals in degree of surrender that you feel will be most fulfilling to you. Once you find a Dom that can qualify in bringing you these things, you take their lead as to what/how they wish to train you.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 10:06:41 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~fr~

I've been a sub for about seven years now, and have had relationships with several doms. None has demanded that I know any 'universal' protocols - the only ones they care about are the ones that they give me. For example, one dom would expect me to be naked around him at all times, another wanted me to kneel before him and wait for permission to speak if there was something I wanted to say, stuff like that.

There is no universal set of manners and protocols that every good sub knows (unless you're into Gor, then you should search the Gor message board for info) - it's all about how YOUR dom wants to play it.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 10:10:14 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Act the way you think would make your dom proud...until he finds you and makes you his own, at which point he'll give you his own rules to follow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: silvergirl1

I would like to improve myself, learn the basic "manners" of a sub, but i dont want to have to get involved with a Dom to do that... i do not consider myself ready to be with a Dom again yet...

(in reply to silvergirl1)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 10:13:57 PM

ExKat

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline

Nope, no secret submissive protocols that I know of. Please your dom. If you feel like you're missing out on protocol, make sure the next dominant you hook up with enjoys them. If you feel like your last dominants "let you do whatever you wanted", make sure your next dominant has strict 24/7 protocols.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to silvergirl1)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/23/2008 11:05:04 PM

sexisubi

Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

You need to turn this query inward. Find the ideals in degree of surrender that you feel will be most fulfilling to you. Once you find a Dom that can qualify in bringing you these things, you take their lead as to what/how they wish to train you.

Nihilus is right, when you find that special someone maybe a good idea is telling Them you want to try some rules... if it's an online thing, maybe you could look at writing stories to him, not saying certain words, maybe he'll ask you to do something in your real life. These are just some examples that might interest you. If it's in real life throw out some ideas start jotting them on paper, research online, read articals and stories based on bdsm ask other submissives and Masters things they like to do or have done to get the creativity flowing.

However, when looking inward the ideas you come up with remember when/if you have a Master to share them and if S/He comes up with rules to follow them.

< Message edited by sexisubi -- 11/23/2008 11:06:18 PM >

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/24/2008 4:35:09 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Have a browse of the booklist on "InformedConsent" and see what takes your fancy, and get yourself to munches and get talking to people in the lifestyle who'll have more experience than you.

Happy huntin'.

(in reply to silvergirl1)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/24/2008 7:04:32 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: silvergirl1

Hello,
The Rules, The Protocols, The Postures that it seems most Doms/Sirs/Masters want and need and expect from one such as myself...
My question is,, how do I learn these things?... I believe there is general "manners" etc? ones that nearly every sub/slave knows?
I would like to improve myself, learn the basic "manners" of a sub, but i dont want to have to get involved with a Dom to do that

I agree with everyone above but nodody explained why "we" all believe that. Sounds like you are meeting dominants in chat rooms and those that text you through your profile. Telling you that you don't "know enough" or "aren't well trained" is a fucked up seduction tactic designed, as your post clearly demonstrates, to put you on the defensive and make you believe those emailing you are more experienced than you are, neither of which is true.

The reality (broadly defined as how many in the real scene and private players who actually have partners who stick around for a few years) is that each of us crafts our own rules, we may have things in common, most of play with some form of kneeling for example but even there, many don't. So, in short, I might have a vastly complicated list of rules and behaviors I expect but I, in essence, pulled them out of thin air. Someone else may have none. As long as they work for two people, its all good.

(in reply to silvergirl1)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/24/2008 1:29:12 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

If you really want a single way of doing this, you may want to look into Gor.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: any suggestions as to where i could learn? - 11/24/2008 4:31:03 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

I would never say this is the one book or one person to learn from , instead gather info from many people and sources .If you have a Master then ultimately he/she is the main influence and instructor and may wish things to be done in a certain way .You can even go to your local book store and seek out protocol , manners and etiquette books .Attending forums and classes , ask of fellow submissive s / slaves , perhaps even seeking out someone respected locally for mentorship guidance.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 11