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RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:43:51 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Yes, but can you actually BE the motorcycle?


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:43:52 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Did you have parents growing up?  Have you ever been employed?  Were you part of a team with a coach?

Yes, on all three counts. But neither my parents, past employers nor my coach ever flogged me or used nipple clamps or a crop or cane. None of them blindfolded me and dripped hot wax on me. And only my high school basketball coach ever tied me up and forced me to perform fellatio.


You do realize, of course, that what you're describing is bottoming and not submission.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:44:31 AM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

From an intellectual standpoint, you will learn about how you process and interpret what you feel (either physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) which will teach you something about yourself.  Nothing wrong with that at all.  But it won't tell you anything about what it feels like to someone else, particularly someone with an entirely different mindset (ie: submissive).  So I'd have to wonder what value it would (or could) be if that were your objective.

Thank you. That's probably the most salient comment I've yet read.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:45:20 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe I misunderstood. lol That has been known to happen! lol  I think if you are wanting to explore and could entertain the thought that you might want or need more and are not hard core.. I am a dominant and dominant only... it would be beneficial to explore.  You might just find that many doors open and a whole lot of wonderful experiences.

I know I left myself open in my post and didn't cover 'switch', but that is the something more I was talking about.  I do believe one can be switch and I know and love a number of switches! lol  Different situation altogether! lol

I hope you find what you seek!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:46:49 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

When it comes to individual submissives, yes, that is absolutely the way to do it. But I'm talking more about the collective mindset, not about any one individual.


There isn't one and trying to discover what that mythical beast is by actually putting yourself into those shoes isn't going to work at all. At best, you'd simply discover parts of your own nature but you will garner exactly 'zero' information on any collective mindset for the submissive population.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:48:46 AM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you to all (or at least most) who have posted. I think it comes down to this...

You've made me see that doing this is unlikely to make me understand the submissive mindset any better than I do now. It's not going to make me a better Dom.

If I decide to do this, I now know that I'd be doing it just for the experience - because I am "wired that way".

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 11:52:29 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

Thank you to all (or at least most) who have posted. I think it comes down to this...

You've made me see that doing this is unlikely to make me understand the submissive mindset any better than I do now. It's not going to make me a better Dom.

If I decide to do this, I now know that I'd be doing it just for the experience - because I am "wired that way".


 I hope you keep posting. An open mind and refreshing viewpoints are always welcomed by me.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:07:26 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding
Thanks for the creepy Silence of the Lambs imagery. Obviously you have zero insight of who I am or what makes me tick, but that's OK. I explained what I meant by "cannot comprehend the mindset" in a previous post. You took it differently than I meant it. It's more like saying, "I can't understand how anyone could have voted for McCain/Obama." Clearly you can, if you try - but the thought of doing so is utterly and completely foreign to you.


True, zero insight, and the creepy Silence of the Lambs imagery was a bit over the top.  I apologize for that, my style of writing and my sense of humor sometimes comes across as entirely wrong. 

I still don't follow how a dominant doesn't comprehend the submissive mindset.  They are typically so good at figuring out how we tick, that I would be very surprised to find out that it was a common thing for a dominant to not understand the mindset of the submissive.  I guesss I understand that what you were saying is you can't relate or appreciate it on a personal and visceral level. 

The analogy was interesting, and on the surface makes sense....but as Cali said, can you BE the motorcycle?  Taking it apart, knowing every inch of the motorcycle won't make you one....

Hmm, if you get on all fours, and let someone ride you- maybe you can?  The next question that comes to mind...is can you manage to purr between the thighs for the one riding you?

See what I mean about how my thinking is entirely wrong sometimes?

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/24/2008 12:18:08 PM >

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:27:01 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

The collective mindset of the submissive?  Wow, I'm not sure that's a safe place for anyone to go to!  I get scared when two or more of us are gathered together.  Collectively, you're screwed.

LOL!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:31:50 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Yes, but can you actually BE the motorcycle?

Love your wit. The literal answer to your question is obvious, but ask anyone who lives to ride (I've been riding since I was 8) and s/he'll tell you that there is a certain zen-like oneness that you have with your bike when riding.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:34:39 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You do realize, of course, that what you're describing is bottoming and not submission.

Do the semantics somehow reframe the issue? A rose by any other name would still have its thorns.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:41:36 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Did you have parents growing up?  Have you ever been employed?  Were you part of a team with a coach?

Yes, on all three counts. But neither my parents, past employers nor my coach ever flogged me or used nipple clamps or a crop or cane. None of them blindfolded me and dripped hot wax on me. And only my high school basketball coach ever tied me up and forced me to perform fellatio.


Heyyyy...i knew you looked familiar....did he give you an A too???

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:49:05 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You do realize, of course, that what you're describing is bottoming and not submission.

Do the semantics somehow reframe the issue? A rose by any other name would still have its thorns.


Semantics do reframe any issue...but this is not a vocabulary question...you know the difference between bottoming and submission....and if not, google it.



_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:50:32 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

True, zero insight, and the creepy Silence of the Lambs imagery was a bit over the top.  I apologize for that, my style of writing and my sense of humor sometimes comes across as entirely wrong. 

No harm done.
quote:

I still don't follow how a dominant doesn't comprehend the submissive mindset.  They are typically so good at figuring out how we tick

One needs only be a good communicator and observer to figure out how another ticks. Consider the people who do this to an extreme, and for a living- FBI profilers. Surely they understand what makes serial killers tick. They undertand why such people do what they do. Yet surely, they must regularly say (to themselves if no one else), "How can someone do such things?" (And with that, I apologize for the creepy comparison.)
quote:

I guesss I understand that what you were saying is you can't relate or appreciate it on a personal and visceral level. 

Precisely, and well said. Thanks for putting it better than I have thus far managed to.
quote:

as Cali said, can you BE the motorcycle?  Taking it apart, knowing every inch of the motorcycle won't make you one....

No, but the act of doing so can certainly make you feel a connection with the machine. And make you feel as though all is right in the world.
quote:

The next question that comes to mind...is can you manage to purr between the thighs for the one riding you?
Honey, if you're riding a motorcycle that purrs, you're on the wrong kind of bike!  To answer your question, though, I'd sure be willing to give that a try!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:52:36 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Heyyyy...i knew you looked familiar....did he give you an A too???

You got an A?! I got a B-!!! lol

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:57:11 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Semantics do reframe any issue...but this is not a vocabulary question...you know the difference between bottoming and submission....and if not, google it.
Only if you allow the issue to be reframed. Regardless of semantics, I think the discussion here is clear.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 12:58:31 PM   
DannyDemanding


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

 I hope you keep posting.

Happy to oblige!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 1:04:43 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Heyyyy...i knew you looked familiar....did he give you an A too???

You got an A?! I got a B-!!! lol


Yeah, id give you pointers....but we have already established that you couldnt possibly understand completely..... Dont sweat it, he was later fired when they found him in the supply closet of the gym, playing with his balls.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 1:05:58 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyDemanding

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You do realize, of course, that what you're describing is bottoming and not submission.

Do the semantics somehow reframe the issue? A rose by any other name would still have its thorns.


Yes and no.  It's possible for anyone *be* a bottom, including a Dominant.  But it's not possible to *be* a submissive, if that's not your orientation.
 
But you're correct in that even in being a bottom, it would only teach you about how you process the activity.  Not how anyone else may do so.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to DannyDemanding)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Ever try the other side? - 11/24/2008 1:11:32 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Every now and then, a bit...  But I think Rover put it very very well.  I'm not submissive, but I do, on the very rare occasion 'bottom'.

That being said, I HAVE been a sub in the past, when I first began to experience and experiment with this lifestyle.  It wasn't who I am, but, it was a very very valuable learning experience, and I look upon it fondly and it brought me a good understanding of what 'the other side' might be thinking and feeling and wanting I think.

It brings to mind a lovely song...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZdlnqxFWpE


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 60
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