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Padriag -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 5:45:06 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Repost:
This is why I have different "orientations" within submission, some are more obedience oriented (they like being trained and given orders to follow) some are more control oriented (they like rituals and being passive), some are more service oriented (they like doing things and assisting in tasks), and some are more pleasure oriented (they like having fun and being entertaining).
Most subs are some mix of those types, with a prevalence towards one or the other.
It's also important to note that service does not equal submission. I think this gets highlighted when dominants do service towards others and their subs or when subs do service for people other than their dominant.
See, thats the reason why it caught my eye. I've always thought that if you are submissive, especially a submissive in a live in, long term relationship, that service is simply just a part of who you are. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone and saying "I'm not service oriented so therefore I don't cook and clean". I always thought that if you were defining yourself as a "service oriented submissive" specifically, it probably meant that you are there because you just really get off on the service end of it specifically and things like love and play are not as important because you get your needs fulfilled specifically from the service.
So if you are pretty much like most of us that has this component as a part of your make-up, why would you need to make such a declaration?
Because while it could be said that everyone has each of those orientations to some degree... not everyone has each to the same degree. Human behavior is goal oriented and each of these orientations addresses a different set of common goals. For example, a submissive who was particularly pleasure oriented is a way of identifying a group of behaviors and goals, which in this case are related to achieving their own personal pleasure and what they consider fun. Someone service oriented will have a different set of goals and behaviors which are prevalent. Understanding these differences can give a dominant a better understanding of how the submissive thinks and feels, how they react to different things and why, and how to better motivate that particular submissive.
For example, lets say I have two slaves. I have the goal of wanting my house cleaned. I know that one slave is service oriented, the other is pleasure oriented. In the case of the first slave, all that might be required is giving the instruction to clean the house. Being service oriented, this is the kind of task she is already geared for... she finds satisfaction and reward in the task itself, and probably also in being praised afterwards for having a good job (assuming she actually did a good job, she would probably be unhappy with undeserved praise if she did a poor job). The pleasure oriented slave is capable of cleaning the house, but will probably be less enthusiastic about it. To get her to do a good job I've got to provide additional motivation. There are a variety of ways I could do this, harsh discipline is one, the offer of pleasurable rewards afterwards (such as fetish play or sex) are some examples. The pleasure oriented slave may be less responsive to praise for having done a good job, and less likely to care if they get undeserved praise.
Its not that a pleasure oriented slave can't do a good job cleaning the house, its that its not primary among their goals and behaviors. A pleasure oriented can be taught to clean house enthusiastically, but doing so requires a regimine of conditioning so that the slave learns to associate cleaning the house with pleasure in the way that they do fetish play (for example). This requires associating existing natural or conditioned reward (i.e. fetish play, sex, chocolate, etc.) with current neutral or adverse stimuli (cleaning house) until it becomes a conditioned reward, and then fading the previous reward so that the new behavior itself takes over as the reward (i.e. after cleaning house the slave is sometimes reward with something they enjoy such as sex or fetish play until their behavior changes so that they eagerly clean house to get the reward, at which point the frequency of the reward is reduced which allows the praise and satisfaction of doing a good job of cleaning house to take over as its own internal reward).
That got a little more technical than I intended, but hopefully I was clear enough. Bottom line, by better understanding the submissive, the dominant is better able to elicit the behavior they want.
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