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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/25/2008 6:39:18 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		While I tend to agree that the likely scenario is the one most posters have suggested, I find myself thinking that it might also be appropriate to consider that he may actually be trying to do the responsible thing by enforcing a distance that the bulk of the posters here have advised, but which the OP does not seem too keen on maintaining. Hanlon's Razor seems to imply that we might do well to see if other explanations than malice will fit the bill. See, the Y-chromosome isn't an automatic one-way ticket to "Assholeville, population 3 billion," even though it certainly confers a discount on such tickets.

If I did not think I was good for someone, and cared about that person, I would also do what I could to keep that person at a distance, although I would try to explain that and provide some measure of closure. After all, if they are going to trust me to do the right thing with them... well... it wouldn't seem appropriate to do what I believed to be the wrong thing, would it now? That is like intentionally violating and invalidating the trust they have chosen to invest me with. To do the right thing doesn't always mean nobody gets hurt; sometimes, it can mean trying to minimize the hurt for everyone involved.

Health,
al-Aswad.



_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/25/2008 7:46:33 PM   
BLGirl


Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		in the OP there was talk of him causing others emotional pain and that being a track record of doing that.  I would think that this is a reason for concern and might be something to avoid.  I think there are some things that are not being brought out or kept to one's self and that is fine too.  Just odd

Daddy of BLGirl

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/26/2008 5:36:26 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:


Is there anything chocolate CAN'T make easier to deal with?




Yes     -    tripe!!!!!

(in reply to mystickoolaid)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/26/2008 8:39:49 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, didn't think of that... Agreed... unless the tripe is MADE out of chocolate...

hmm

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/27/2008 8:20:04 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		jupiter you need to find someone else that is worthy of your gift, get over this guy, he's not worth it, not worth you investing any more of your effort, his loss, not yours.

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/27/2008 8:31:32 PM   
scottishjason


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/25/2008
Status: offline 		You are getting a lot of very realistic comments from this post.  It’s pretty obvious that this guy wanted to fuck you and didn’t want a relationship with you.  You even stated that from the beginning he made it clear that you shouldn’t expect any kind of relationship.  It sounds like its time to move on.  But from this I think you should really look at this situation and figure out what you want before you get yourself into any situation like this again.  Don’t look at this as a real failure but as a lesson learned.  You now know one thing that you don’t want. 

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 6:58:32 AM   
Jupiterfalling


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/22/2008
Status: offline 		I can't help but have the feeling of ultimate failure. On one hand, I can see where he is coming from in that who wants a girl they think can't handle and please them? On the other, I know I can and hate not being given a second chance after knowing this person so long and both of us having strong desire. It's funny, I have never left a man unsatisfied in the vanilla world. I usually out-do them in bed. Perhaps my fear of always failing this dude has caused by body to shut down when I'm with him? Any other newbie Subs experience this?

(in reply to scottishjason)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:02:42 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

I can't help but have the feeling of ultimate failure. On one hand, I can see where he is coming from in that who wants a girl they think can't handle and please them?


What the hell?  Have you not heard anything HE said, or anything WE said?  Where did you come up with this idea that he thinks you can't handle him or please him? 

Is it easier for you to handle if you somehow convince yourself that he doesn't want you because of the sexual experience???


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:18:12 AM   
Jupiterfalling


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/22/2008
Status: offline 		Well, He doesn't want me SINCE the sexual experience and therefore it must be Because of the sexual experience since he's known me for so long and we have had other sessions. I've also noticed that he has been on this website non-stop all of the sudden. Not because I'm a cyber-stalker, but because I'm here too - seeking answers.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:24:34 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Remember where Cali said that he's just not that into you?   Listen to Cali, she knows stuff.  For whatever reason, this man has moved on.  You should too.  I'm not going to tell you that moving on is easy, I know perfectly well that it is not, but drop this person and look inside yourself for a center of strength.  Then look for someone ELSE. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:39:08 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

Well, He doesn't want me SINCE the sexual experience and therefore it must be Because of the sexual experience since he's known me for so long and we have had other sessions. I've also noticed that he has been on this website non-stop all of the sudden. Not because I'm a cyber-stalker, but because I'm here too - seeking answers.


Is that why you started this post? Hoping he will read it. According to your OP "He farwarned me about not wanting a relationship, which I was fine with" but now you don't seem fine with it. Sorry but I have to agree with Cali, its time to move on. Maybe look for a guy who wants to have a relationship.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:51:32 AM   
Jupiterfalling


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/22/2008
Status: offline 		Sighhhhhhh. I know the simplicity of "he's just not that into you" from the Vanilla world. And I have met jerks who I had sex with and ditched me, even when the sex was good. It's just odd because he was into me before. I'm not seeking a relationship. We agreed upon a friends with benefits D/S thing. No, I don't think he will read this post. And if he did, he wouldn't even know it was me.

(in reply to thishereboi)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 8:59:06 AM   
Jupiterfalling


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/22/2008
Status: offline 		I know..I need to be a lubricated rubber doll with no emotions:(

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 9:10:33 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		No, you need to "man up" (yes, I know you're a girl) and drop the circular logic and the pity party.  Yes, it hurts when you want something or someone and they don't want you.  I get that.  Good lord, trust me, I get that. 

Now put your big girl panties on and stop ruminating on this guy and what happened or didn't happen.  You can even set him to "hidden" on the other side so you don't see him when he's on.  Rip the bandaid off quickly; pulling it hair by excruciating hair is only prolonging the agony.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 10:36:01 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

Well, He doesn't want me SINCE the sexual experience and therefore it must be Because of the sexual experience since he's known me for so long and we have had other sessions. I've also noticed that he has been on this website non-stop all of the sudden.


It is because of the sexual experience. This man wanted to have sex with you. That was ALL he wanted from you. He wanted easy sex, he calls you, you come over, he feeds you, the he fucks you. He didn't want to be your dom, he didn't want to train you to be his sex slave, he didn't want to coddle your fragile emotional needs.

Men who just want sex, particularly if it's relatively hard-to-find sex, may court the woman. They might talk to you, promise to be really good friends, listen to you whine about things.

  And then you broke your end of the deal. You couldn't have easy sex.  You failed to deliver the benefits with the friends with benefits deal, and now the man is looking for different easy sex.

  The dom admits to being a douchebag almost abuser, tells you you're too "fragile" for him, and he doesn't help you through tough emotional shit. Why is this an issue for you? Yes, you failed to please him. You failed as a sub. However, he wasn't your dom, and any real dom wouldn't be a douchebag like that so....who cares?

   What's the issue here?

_____________________________

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(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
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RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 11:11:45 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

Sighhhhhhh. I know the simplicity of "he's just not that into you" from the Vanilla world.

That sentiment is just the same in the BDSM world.

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 11:13:23 AM   
Jupiterfalling


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/22/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting, ExKat. The weird part is, he KNOWS im not easy and neither is he. He has always told me that he doesn't sleep around and took this long to even fuck me.

(in reply to ExKat)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 11:17:39 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Men lie.  Sorry to be the one to break it to you.

Yes, fellows, I know that women lie, too!    Not everyone goes for what they want in an ethical fashion.  I have learned that if a man says something negative about himself, like he is shallow, a user, a Nascar fan... BELIEVE HIM.  That is all the warning you are likely to get, make the most of it.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 11:46:49 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

Interesting, ExKat. The weird part is, he KNOWS im not easy and neither is he. He has always told me that he doesn't sleep around and took this long to even fuck me.



You're still ruminating.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Jupiterfalling)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Thrown into the pile of toy dolls? Help! - 11/28/2008 12:28:47 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hey everybody,
You can lead a horse to water and all that.  She's standing under Niagra Falls and thinks she's in the Sahara.

Good luck to the OP,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to CalifChick)
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