SusanofO
Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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I just got 'round to reading this one, and really appreciated the topic.
*Pro-Flip: I think I'd love to be in a position where I'd say I'd "Do the Flip". The level of trust doing that would require from me is what I'd strive for. I would not mind exploring things I hadn't tried yet if that is what would make my partner happy, at least, not more electrical play, (it's not a hard limit for me).
I originally took for granted when first reading this thread that any Dom-Master would know what he was doing was enough not to seriously hurt me - and am so glad the point was brought out later in the thread that there really needs to be a way for the sub-slave to check out just how much experience a partner has with electrical play Before ANY play takes place - that would be the case for me.
*How Would I know:How would I do that? I'd communicate with them for a few weeks (its situational I think depending on the demands on each person's time) to get a feel for how much they'd done this in real life and ask general questions first of them about it (they'd know I've done next to none). I would also do some reading and research of my own on what they were mentioning (just because I am curious and just because I want to verify what I might be getting into).
*And:I would have someone to contact for a safecall (I do have a vanilla friend who knows I am interested in this life in my own town I could call. I would ask them to call me and also ask someone from the national safecall network I've read about (am sure the phone number is ona thread here somewhere and could find it. if not, I will find someone to ask). I would call both these two safe-callees there a few days ahead to make Sure one or both would be calling me in the room before things got started, (I'm there ahead of time, after all, he isn't there yet. I also have a cell phone I could use).
*Yes I'd Want It: I do know I would be completely trusting with the right person.
*Am Becoming More Aware of This and it's a good thing:The danger for me personally, though, is that sometimes I want to trust so much, and can be so friendly (I like people, I just like people) and it all sounds fascinating. The trust it might require, (even if it had to "deepen" for me to try something) well, I can picture this being what would make it so Good for me (and hopefully for the other person, too). I'd actually relish having to "stretch" if it was something I maybe didn't think I wanted originally, (I am a pretty curious person). I would want to let my partner know I would "go the extra mile" for them. I would. I know I would.
*These Boards Are So Good to Read: In fact, I was thinking about this earlier this week. I read a lot of other people's comments on these boards. I am (or try to be) cognizant of the fact there is a live human being behind the screen, and take for granted other people do the same. Later something they said sometimes just becomes more clear as far as how it fits onto my own life, (even if it was not a long missive). Due to how short time is for me sometimes, my "get to know people" method for now;even though I get mail, and try hard to answer it). Something somebody says will make something in my life all become so much more clear as far as how I'd handle this or that (because I go and think about it).
*Just a teensy thought - something for me to ponder: This is not bragging or anything akin to that, nor am I inviting anyone to mess with my head by stating, and mean this in the most literal way). I was thinking, this quality of wanting to be trusting:
This might make it difficult for someone to even DO a Mindfu_ on me because I can get pretty attuned to someone else as well as myself and it can be "if they're happy, I'm happy." So then what could happen is -
If They thought something was a Mindfu_ , I would forgive them because I care about them and wouldn't want them to "fail". Is that ridiculous? (rhetorical Q) I don't think that takes all the fun out of it. Am sure they could very well still surprise me (I am new, but this weird thought did cross the wild plain of my mind). I guess I'd have to really know them well, and they, me. I am glad i am aware and this topic brought me to some more self-awareness (plus some comments I read last week people made on these boards).
*Aftercare: If I needed it, it would Have to be there (if I needed it and it wasn't, well that Would be a Mindfu_, I guess). I would want to be held and for somebody to not just say "well, go journal about it." I would want to fall alseep in their arms. It is part of what makes me feel safe. I would want them to talk to me or find out if I wanted to talk (but if they were tired, I'd leave them alone).
*Sidenote: Boy do people have to know eachother well, yet still be willing to take a risk. They have to talk or one has got to be able to read the other so well, they just know what eachother is thinking almost (sounds like that meaningful a connection is something I would strive for).
*Setting the Mood:I can really really get caught up in imagining what may or may not take place. As long as I trusted whoever the Dom-Master is, I'd have asked before-hand, maybe about being able to light a few candles around the room (hope it would be darkened) to create a mood, and soft music might be playing on a CD in the room (unless this would prevent us both being attuned somehow to our levels of excitement. I don't think I'd want a blind-fold. If it was a first-time experience I would probably Not pay for the room (sorry).
*Safety and Not Losing Myself Completely: I have this little teensy voice - buried deep inside my head, though, that I am hoping will always be there, no matter how devoted I may become to someone. It tells me when to STOP. It can fade and recede, but is it always there on some level. Maybe it's the part that would make me cry during the experience (if I did, or laugh, but not AT anyone, of course. I think laughing might completely kill the mood).
*That Still Small Voice: But if it gets to feel SOOO intense I am thinking I just Can't do anymore, I just know I am hoping that voice will always be there, and know I have to do what I can to keep it alive. I know I can blend the voice with the desire to please, but if the desire to please is ever stronger than the voice, the other person I would have to know and trust, would be able to pick up that that is what is happening. Yes it does require taking a risk. I know I can have not much problem taking a risk sometimes (that is part of what scares me about myself).
I know that all might sound disconnected, but this thread topic really got me to think, and it's mostly internal rambling (just online. I may start a journal, it might be useful).
Hope everyone had a happy holiday.
"Hope Is the thing With feathers, that perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all."- Emily Dickinson
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/26/2005 3:40:44 PM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: To Flip or Not to Flip - 
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