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sweetwhisper -> RE: What is Monogamy? (12/24/2005 7:45:22 AM)
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i just don't get what the problem is... you want "high monogamy", who is saying different? or rather, who says you can't or shouldn't have that? It'syour choice, if you are a straight female searching for a straight male that wants to remain that way and not seek others outside of your relationship, i don't see who would coerce you or try to change that in any way.
Just because you seek a dom and are in this lifestyle doesn't mean you have to be bisexual or poly, and i don't think anyone really assumes that either. There's someone out there for everyone, just don't settle. A year ago, after being divorced for 3 happy years and not wanting to have anything to do with men, i came to the time in my life where i felt ready to begin looking for someone who would meet my needs. i came to terms with the fact that i could easily spend the rest of my life alone if i did not find the person that had all of the qualities i looked for - It was a pretty long list, and i actually thought that chances were slim to none that i would actually find the right person for me - He had to be local somewhat, because i was not going to relocate outside of the state or anywhere too far, he had to be in the lifestyle, had to be a dom, i wanted someone i could have the right chemistry with, someone i had things in common with, someone with a good sense of humor, and that was a big priority, someone with the same views tho not exact but at least basically the same over all values and views on life, politics, religion, etc etc.... although i was never picky about looks i was very picky about height, (since i love tall men [:)] ) i wanted someone who already had "unmentionables" since i have one and i figured that a.) i don't want anymore and b.) he'd have a better understanding of what it is like to have them and wouldn't have unrealistic expectations as far as that's concerned.... well, there were probably a few other things but i can't remember now. Since i was in no rush, i had no plans on settling (because of the fact my first marriage was so rotten i didn't want to go through that again) i made a promise to myself that if the right man for me didn't come along, screw it - i'd be just fine on my own. A week or so after posting my profile on collarme, i met the man which is now my Master & husband - He is everything i was looking for and much much more - i had my list of limits at the time too, but was open to explore and was open to have those limits pushed if the person was right for me. He certainly pushed all of my limits, i gave myself to Him 100%, i considered myself straight before i met Him and He was sincere with me from the start that He would expect me to explore other women, i have done so and have actually enjoyed it very much.Was i coerced? No. when i gave myself to Him i gave myself to Him entirely, mind body & soul, sounds cliche but that's the way it's been for us - i was very choosy about whom i submitted to but once i did find the right one i let go of all hang ups, limits, etc... because there was trust there and unmeasurable love,respect, devotion, loyalty...All in all, candy, to each their own, continue your search and don't astray from what it is you search for, once you do find the right one for you, you will be glad you didn't settle for another.
Best of luck!
Merry Christmas!
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