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What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 3:16:46 AM

KingBoo

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline

Being a young Dom in a place where there seems to be a lack of a community is rather hard. I was hoping to find some advice or maybe even someone out there. Currently i am living in Rapid City South dakota. Don't know if many of you know about this place but up here, it totaly diffrent from anywhere i ever been. People seem to keep to themshelves and frown on diffrence. The few i found on this site don't even respond to people to often. So what do you all think i should do? Anyone know any form of community for this lifestyle around?

Post #: 1

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 3:33:22 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

When I was in SD, I noticed there was a church on every corner and a casino to match. Most the people I saw drank, gambled, smoked and partied hard. Hell even a news reporter mentioned underage drinking and said everyone had done it and the kids were just out trying to have fun. Those good ol boys were a drinkin and carrying around guns hunting birds and deer and the wemin folk. But they all seemed to be good christian folk! lol Even if they were real cozy with their neighbor's wife.

There were some real nice people there too. As for lifestyle... it is more hidden. But I know of poly families there... I met a lot of submissive men there, but they didn't always call it that. But when god fearing, gun carryin, beer drinkin, casino dashin mama spoke... those suckers were running to do her bidding. It's there... you just have to be brave enough to risk everybody in town and then next one over, knowing it.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 2

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 5:05:20 AM

MasterMatmid

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Joplin MO is also in the bible belt, but we have a great small community of fine bdsmers..maybe you could start your own group..or move.

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 3

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 6:08:52 AM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

Maybe you can find a group on yahoo? That might be a place to start looking. Just a thought.

(in reply to MasterMatmid)

Post #: 4

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 7:26:56 AM

porcelain26

Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

*waves from 3hrs south*

I'm just south of you on 385...believe me...I feel your pain!!

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 5

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 8:28:42 AM

Bratzilla

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

I lived in SD for a while, so I can imagine. Rapid City's beautiful though, you got the Black Hills for camping. Try a nearby college town, that's probably your best bet.

(in reply to porcelain26)

Post #: 6

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 8:44:20 AM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

Your issue is probably your location, not the fact that it's in the Bible Belt (I'm in a large city in Texas, and have no issues). If there aren't many people, you're not going to find many people of any different kind of group.

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 7

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 10:29:17 AM

CFslaves

Posts: 1019
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KingBoo

Being a young Dom in a place where there seems to be a lack of a community is rather hard. I was hoping to find some advice or maybe even someone out there. Currently i am living in Rapid City South dakota. Don't know if many of you know about this place but up here, it totaly diffrent from anywhere i ever been. People seem to keep to themshelves and frown on diffrence. The few i found on this site don't even respond to people to often. So what do you all think i should do? Anyone know any form of community for this lifestyle around?

best bet find someone outta the bible belt and proceed from there cuz i live in the bible belt too and Master is from kansas with pet and such and we are proceeding pretty good other than legalizing and such once me and master get married

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 8

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 10:44:42 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

quote:

Your issue is probably your location, not the fact that it's in the Bible Belt

While his location might be the problem, I tend to think it's really more the fact he's a guy. That's it. He's a guy, looking for a submissive female. Join the hordes. It won't matter whether he's in NYC or in the middle of nowhere (which is, apparently where he really is). He's still a guy. A guy looking for a submissive woman. The fact that he found out most people he contacted "don't respond that often" is what happens to guys. No matter where they live. Hell, I'm near San Francisco, the self-professed haven for BDSM and the genesis of the munch, and I find that most people I contact "don't respond that often". It's what it is. Join the club (of guys, that is).

Now, if you're a guy (and you are), then your job is to go and find a female. You already figured out you're not gonna' get that perfect sub chick by sending out sporadic emails to the Collarme crowd. Likewise, this post, in and of itself, isn't gonna' get you your legions of subs clamoring to get in line to knock on your door, so, um ... what do y' do to get a gal?

Same thing all the rest of us guys do. You look here. You look there. You look damn near everywhere. Somewhere, somehow, in some God-forsaken place maybe even, there's a gal for you. That perfect sub slut or the demure librarian just hankering for a guy to slap her tits around, she's there. She's somewhere. You must always keep that in mind because the minute you give up, you lose. She isn't gonna just stop by and knock on your door. You need to be persistent. You may need to be inventive (starting this thread was a good beginning). You need to be everywhere you can be. You might even turn into a spammer. Hell, it works. It's not for me (I write too much) but it's for most guys. They spam spam spam. They go to events left and right. They lurk. They follow. They leer. They lech (had to throw that one in). If nothing else, they're damn persistent.

Come to think of it, finding a good faithful subbie isn't so different than finding a regular faithful gal in the real world, is it. There is a woman just for you in wherever the hell it is you are from ... but she isn't gonna just jump in your arms 'cuz you emailed her. Good luck to you, to me, and to all us guys!

(in reply to flower2007)

Post #: 9

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 11:20:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

The bible belt really isn't the issue- it's the small size and lack of options that's the issue. Best option at this time might be to find someone online and go meet at a nuetral place for kinky fun until you can meet in your own home.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 10

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 11:28:27 AM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I think it probably is hard - there are lifestyle groups in most places in the US now, even places I never thought there would be - seriously, when I lived in Mobile, AL, I NEVER thought there would be anything within driving distance - now there is - but places that are seriously population sparse seem to still have an issue.

Being as young as you are if you are relatively mobile I might even suggest moving if the need for community is strong for you.

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 11

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 11:32:16 AM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

quote:

Your issue is probably your location, not the fact that it's in the Bible Belt

While his location might be the problem, I tend to think it's really more the fact he's a guy. That's it. He's a guy, looking for a submissive female. Join the hordes. It won't matter whether he's in NYC or in the middle of nowhere (which is, apparently where he really is). He's still a guy. A guy looking for a submissive woman. The fact that he found out most people he contacted "don't respond that often" is what happens to guys. No matter where they live. Hell, I'm near San Francisco, the self-professed haven for BDSM and the genesis of the munch, and I find that most people I contact "don't respond that often". It's what it is. Join the club (of guys, that is).

Most people I contact don't respond that often. They could be busy, or involved and haven't updated their profile, or out of town, or decide after looking at my profile I'm not worth getting to know, or whatever.

I don't think it is easier for anyone being in the middle of nowhere - besides which it is dang cold where he is.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 12

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 1:43:59 PM

CatNmouse2002

Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

"What to do if your in the Bible Belt ?"

My personal advise is :
1. join the club there are a ton U/us .
2. remember , low key is good in public
3. don't talk about kink at work

* shrugs *

Beyond that make close friends who share your interests .

(in reply to moonvine)

Post #: 13

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 1:45:49 PM

aFineLine2tread

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

screw'em all and become a Satanist lol

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 14

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 2:11:51 PM

khalya

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline

Perhaps you could wear a triskelion necklace, or a blue and black striped keyring? When you wear certain symbols, it clues people that are into/interested in the lifestyle as to your leanings.

Where I live, a lot of people wear different symbols to signify their beliefs, political affiliations, or hobbies the enjoy. These people attract the flavors they want, because of the signals the symbols they wear send out.

_____________________________

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Dreams and reality are opposites. Action synthesized them.
-Assata Shakur

A true revolutionary is guided by love.
-Che Guevara

(in reply to aFineLine2tread)

Post #: 15

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 2:28:22 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

pray brother...

pray...

-L-

I was unaware Rapid City was in the bible...belt.

Its a sweet area where your at...

Good luck...

(in reply to KingBoo)

Post #: 16

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 2:29:31 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Your like a rocket scientist...right?

(in reply to aFineLine2tread)

Post #: 17

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 2:36:36 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Bible Belt? As I recall - religlious people were some of the kinkiest and perverted I'd ever known...Some of my best times exploring my sexuality as a teenager were at church camp..

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 18

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 3:10:14 PM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The bible belt really isn't the issue- it's the small size and lack of options that's the issue.

Grins, Happy Holidays LA.

You are right! Here in our small town of 2000 residents we are the BDSM community. But there are plenty of groups all within a two hour drive around us.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: What to do if your in the Bible Belt - 11/29/2008 3:55:18 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I was very stunned when I got into the NC scene at my start when everyone would gripe and get paranoid about being in the "bible belt" when there were like six well established kink groups and some party/munch going on within two hours every weekend. There are certainly still places in the US where there isn't a strong kink presence, but it's really due to there not being a strong human presence more than anything.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 20

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