RE: How do you know when to use a safe word?

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RE: How do you know when to use a safe word? - 12/12/2008 10:41:46 PM

MirrorrirroM

Posts: 35
Joined: 9/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

First, Safe words are not appropriate for everyone. For many types of play they are totally inappropriate. For others they are totally necessary no matter HOW long you have played together.

Second, you mentioned the Red/Yellow/Green system. The description of what you are doing sounds a lot like sadomasochistic sensation play, topping from the bottom. You are being in control of what is going on, despite any outward appearance. There's nothing wrong with topping from the bottom, lots of people really enjoy it.

For that type of play, you use the words whenever you want to. You like whats going on, say GREEN with pleasure. You dislike it a little bit but don't want to stop, cautiously say Yellow. You have hit your limit, then make a nice clear RED!!!!!

I'm still fairly new to the scene, so I still do tend to make sure there's some kind of safeword in use when I play in general. I'm curious though, in your opinion which kinds of scenes might it be inappropriate to have a safeword? Or were you just referring to the non-verbal safeword thing?

I'm not too fond of the times when I catch myself really topping from the bottom...I mean when it comes to doing a scene with anyone I haven't played with before I think the whole system of being able to have a word like yellow to get things to slow down is a good thing, but in general I do try to let the Top be in control as much as comfortably possible.
When it comes to the way I interact with my Master though, particularly when we play, I generally do not use the green/yellow/red system. I mean red is still my safeword regardless if I absolutely NEED to stop the scene, but I do trust him enough that I know things will go much more smoothly and be much more enjoyable for both of us if I don't try to top from the bottom and instead just trust him to read my body language and check in on me if I need it and push my limits in a positive way. And aside from that one time where there were 2 tops I've never actually had to use my safeword with my Master, because he has been good enough at reading my body language that he knows when the scene needs to end.

Anywho hope to hear back soon :)

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Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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RE: How do you know when to use a safe word? - 12/13/2008 7:56:27 AM

leopold322

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

i have used the safewords red and yellow. Green - i think - is a little awkward to me. i use the safewords to let my Domme know that something is wrong: Yellow means a pause and red that something is wrong, let's communicate. To me, safewords are not a mean to top from the bottom, but a possibility to get into the game by screaming NO, STOP etc etc. Because what if that st.... Domme stops? (i'm sorry Ladies, for the expression). Then my Domme can enjoy doing things i plead Her not to do. And if i need to use the safewords for things my Domme did, She has misread my body and the game and should be at least a little sorry. So with an experienced Domme, safewords are used only when other things goes wrong like numb hands, cold feet, dizzyness: Things that makes you forget the game and makes you fear that your hands turn black and fall off.

my first Domme was unexperienced and tried once to whip me into using the safeword without saying so. That's not the way it is meant to be done......

(in reply to MirrorrirroM)

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RE: How do you know when to use a safe word? - 12/22/2008 11:43:26 AM

jen182

Posts: 495
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

i think you are using them the right way, thats the same way i do it

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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Post #: 23