Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/1/2008 8:54:53 PM   
Dalanius


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline 		Curious to hear from maledoms on what they have experienced with their urge to dominatet as they have grown older.  Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged?

I identify as a switch, but I have never truly been submissive.  I have found that my dominant side has only grown more and more over the years.  Today I only submit with love to one person, my current love, but she also loves to bottom on occasion, and from time to time we play, either separately or together, with others.  Now at 34, I find often my mind fluttering with images of an attractive woman in bondage, naked and gagged or spead eagle against a post.  Today a lovely assistant of a client of mine came in during a conference.  I have had her in my mind on and off throughout the day, imaging what her muffled pleas would sound like, her whimperings, and frustrated sighs.  Images of her hog-tied, naked, gagged, and face down have filled my head, replete with images of my partner and her friends toying with her and fucking her with their strapons. 

I find these strong urges and fantasies come almost out of nowhere but often triggered by an occurance as above, in which a chance meeting or catching sight of someone that caught your fancy.  It is escapist, for sure, but the urgency and potency of the drive can at times be distracting, and only with a concentrated effort to shake it off and get back to the affairs of the day, will it recede back into the darkened corners of my mind, awaiting new chance to surface.

When younger, how I would have fantasized about being spell-bound perhaps by that same woman, but now, it is like all I've learned and experienced in bottoming and even when I submited, is there at my disposal.  In talking with other male switches or maledoms, often they had an earlier period when they too were almost exclusively submissive, but it seems to me that in fact they were always dominant in that they sought the experience for the sake of facing and having the experience, which later enriched them as a dominant. 

Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/1/2008 9:02:31 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		As you grow in confidence and skills you become more comfortable with them allowing the other parts of you to come out naturally.

Mike

(in reply to Dalanius)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/1/2008 9:16:08 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		No, that hasn't really changed.  What has changed is that I've gotten more responsible as I've come to understand the real consequences of things I do.  That nixes certain fantasies I used to think were kinky, but also opens up new vistas that I wouldn't have imagined with less experience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dalanius

Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older?

(in reply to Dalanius)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/1/2008 11:30:06 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I have found that the Dom Frenzy I felt as a young man was replaced gradually as I grew into my dominance and maturity by confidence and self awareness that I had nothing to prove to anyone. Interesting this thread, for I was just responding face to facea similar question regarding Rank and Command and my answer was similar.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/2/2008 3:48:41 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dalanius

Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged?


No, but with the passage of time I've become more aware of what I enjoy doing with those urges.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Dalanius)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/2/2008 5:19:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It sounds as though your current relationship isn't fulfilling your needs. You say she will bottom on occasion, but it appears that you need those occasions to be much more often. Perhaps if you were fulfilled at home, you wouldn't suffer from frenzy so much.

I will say that The Man surfs bondage sites a lot more if we haven't had time to play or I've been ill and unable to for a couple of weeks. When the stars are aligned, and we can play frequently, he doesn't seem to bother about it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/2/2008 5:33:51 AM   
SadysticJester


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

As you grow in confidence and skills you become more comfortable with them allowing the other parts of you to come out naturally.

Mike

i agree with this,as long as you keep an open mind and are confident in your own self,allowing yourself the luxuries of experimenting to the other side..theres a debate on whether or not a Dominaqnt submitting makes them a better Dominaqnt..for me it has it has allowed me to experience what it is i expect from my subs/slaves and the struggles they go through.i have also found out that over time in a relationship whether D/s, M/s,,,the longer the relationship the more willing each is to try new and more extreme things,this is because the trust builds over time to the point where there is no reservations period....early on the trust may be there but there is always the lingering fear(whether known or not)..

_____________________________

The fool may seem a Fool to some,but take care to fully explore what the Fool has to say,They are not foolish words...
SadysticJester

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/2/2008 1:47:18 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Master T is older than I am by 12 years...He has been interested in bdsm for most of his life...so I think that it grows stronger or maybe that is not the word, but he does sure as heck know what to do to this slave!

(in reply to SadysticJester)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/3/2008 9:49:59 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think it may grow stronger because you get less tolerant of a lot of things.

(in reply to MasterTslave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/3/2008 10:11:19 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline 		   I think it's that as we grow older, hopefully we gain some wisdom and insight as to what our own needs are, and feel more comfortable expressing them. If you're in a relationship that's has open communication, then all the more ease in expressing feelings.
  Myself, my "urges" haven't grown stronger. But I take a certain comfort that I have a little girl who trusts me completely. With that comfort, comes the knowledge that I can search the darkest parts of my mind. And any urges I may get, she is more than willing to comply.


_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/3/2008 7:03:13 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		When I was much younger, my urges and what I wanted to do were very limited.  In the interim I have decided I want to know more and have learned how to do more.  Now I am at the point where I want to teach others or allows others to have an enjoyable time while with me but I do not expect the latter to be permanent.

So in response to your question, yes they grew stronger as I aged.

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/3/2008 11:47:45 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		naaaa i ust get older as I age

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to mstrj69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/5/2008 9:55:47 PM   
DomDG


Posts: 63
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		Well, to be honest, I think you are comparing apples to oranges in some ways.  Some of us were never switches or bottoms other than in a mentorship.  I never had any desire to be submissive, I have been 'kinky' since my GI Joes tied up Barbie and spanked and whipped her.  So for me my desire to be on top has always been strong.

I think it's very different for a switch.  I think some switches are more bottom oriented and they grow more to that area and vice versa for top oriented ones.  I feel you may be growing in your 'top' parts, and that's a cool thing!

As for me, I don't find my urges growing, I find my ability to do things I thought I would never do growing in many ways.  I also find that my curiosity to learn has never waned.


_____________________________

D
A sub with too much time on her hands should spend more on their knees.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/5/2008 11:19:57 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dalanius

Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged?



Perhaps wiser, or so I'd like to think.


(in reply to Dalanius)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/7/2008 6:33:16 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		I have noticed an improvement in confidence and also a "less willing to put up with shit' quality, in both myself and others as they age.

I think this explains the "grumpy old man/woman" stereotype - they just won't put up with ANY shit at all.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/7/2008 7:21:38 PM   
SirPrizeSD


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/25/2008
From: San Deigo
Status: offline 		It seems to be a common theme, but my experience is alot like those mentioned above.  Domination to me is something that has remained constant.  I have felt an increase in desire at different points in my life.  Perhaps a life change or just biorhythems.  With age, I am wiser but most importantly, I know myself better.  There is a confidence and a peace that comes from being sure.  I don't think there is a replacement for age and experience.  I'm not saying a young man can't be a good Dom, but I don't think we could find anybody who would say they were a better Dom at age 20 than they were at age 40.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/9/2008 6:58:53 AM   
Nogimmicks


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		The problem with the question is that I am not sure how the OP defines dominance.  If by dominance, he means sadism, then I have become less dominant.  If by dominance he means a more controlling instinct, then i have become more dominant.  Twenty years ago, I thought of the obedience side of the relationship as being subservient to the sexual side.  A woman who was sexually submissive was all I really needed.  Now I would almost say that I am the opposite, I see the sexual side of the thing as being a tool to use for the obedience.

Twenty years ago I was terrified of the fact that I was a "control freak", I feared becoming abusive rather than benevolent.  Now I have toned that fear down.  Instead of fearing being a control freak in and of itself, I focus on maintaining strict guidelines for channeling that control so that it can never be abusive or counter-productive.  Frankly, I think I am a better dominant now than I was then.  However, as another person also said here, I have never been a switch or submissive or had any interest in being a "bottom".  I am just plain dominant, I can't help it.  Believe me, I spent many years trying to deny that side of my personality.

(in reply to SirPrizeSD)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/9/2008 6:32:51 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		As a kid, I decide what I wanted to do..and usually did just that..then I went and told on myself...took my punishment, and got on with life.  My mom said I was a good kid, but "thanks Heaven" I wasn't a mean kid..But if I decide I wanted to do something I did it ....I didn't follow the crowd, instead, it seems allot of th crowd followed me..as for being submissive..lol..I don't think I ever thought about it..You lead from the front..as I get older I stay the same...but I've noticed I am more not less tolerant of others..till I hit that point..and then enough is enough

(in reply to Nogimmicks)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? - 12/9/2008 10:37:51 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dalanius

Curious to hear from maledoms on what they have experienced with their urge to dominatet as they have grown older.  Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged?

......Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older?


Speaking as a 53 yo that has been in the lifestyle since my teens, I find the "urges" remained about the same but action on those urges was more frequent as experience and confidence grew over time.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Dalanius)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094