Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Am i being overly-sensitive?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Am i being overly-sensitive? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 8:50:10 AM   
FlyboysOwner


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have been involved in a LDR M/s relationship for the past few months and at first, communication was plentiful and frequent but then the communication slowed down somewhat - it's simply not as frequent nor as detailed.  Questions pertaining to permissions have gone unanswered and though I certainly don't expect every single thought or question to be commented upon and every question answered, i do require guidance and welcome a response on the gist of my emails but it's not always forthcoming. 
 
I recently sent off a long email detailing these thoughts and fears and received a response advising that he needed time to think about my mail and would respond in a day or two.  Well, i've actually seen that line once or twice before, but the responses are never forthcoming.  I know he has a particularly busy job, that he sometimes needs to travel but i can't help feeling a little neglected and have begun questioning whether he has the time for an M/s relationship. 
 
I feel I've said my piece and let him know how i feel about things and do not wish to harp on the subject but still can't help how i feel and i guess i'm also feeling a bit fearful and afraid - this isn't the first 'important' email i've sent that 's not been answered. 
 
Because of the nature of our relationship he has naturally become very important to me and when we chat, we gone on really well on all levels, i do enjoy his company as well as his Ownership.
 
Any thoughts...?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 9:07:17 AM   
sailorfrank


Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline 		    Only a couple of months?  Have you two met in real life?   Sorry to say but the lack of response from him is disturbing after such a short time.

Myself I get upset when I dont hear from my slave on a daily basis.  You may end up having to look again. But dont be upset or blame yourself okay?   It happens people may find themselves in over their heads and dont know how to back out of it?

  Keep looking as you will find the right person for you okay?

(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 10:06:09 AM   
FlyboysOwner


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks Sailorfrank for the advice and thoughts.  We've not yet met in real life - work (both his and mine) have played havoc with our plans; and I've begun wondering whether he isn't in over his head with a hectic work schedule, family commitments and a newbie slave to train.  I have begun to suspect that I'll soon find myself looking again.
 
Regards

(in reply to sailorfrank)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 10:46:31 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Would you prefer that he responded immediately, but in a wrong way that didn't correctly use the new information for future courses of action that were in your and his best interests?

Just chill out. I don't think your being overly sensitive, but obviously you have laid down a big peice of your soul for this guy and the mild anxiety of "How is he going to respond? How is he going to handle it? Is he going to flip out and get mad at me?" is spurring you to want a response NOW.

Him taking awhile isn't necessarily a red flag to me, because I do the same thing sometimes. I'm a pretty calculating guy so when presented with something major, I often take time to reflect and think it over before responding or making a decision.

As far as the aspect of time, rarely ever is anyone in the ideal 100% perfect place for a relationship when one usually lands in our feet and even if he was and assuming that your in this for the long haul, it won't continue to stay like that forever. Life brings hardships, overtime, new projects, deadlines, unexpected catasrophes, and important priorities that put a strain on two people's ability to devote time to a relationship. You either both endure it and can make it work or you can't. Given your response at the end of your second post, I see you have already made up your mind as to which route your going to change.

But that's probably the best anyways. Assuming that he is genuinely caught up in a hectic and stressful work schedule and cannot sincerely devote time to you, then thinking solely of "You, you, you" and adding stress to him in the form of a guilt trip for neglecting you is probably not the best attitude for making a relationship work out.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 11:20:52 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		My former owner always made it clear that he would respond to me in his time, not mine. It wasn't always easy, but once I came to accept it, I could deal with it better.

In many ways, I can understand that. Even with me, sometimes I'll receive a big ol' heavy email from a friend, filled with all sorts of things I could comment or advise on, and I need some time & space with which to process my thoughts to give a well thought out and worthwhile reply. Communicating via email is much different than a give & take verbal conversation, because one person becomes the recipient of all thoughts and feelings in one big dose, rather than piecing it out over the course of conversation.

Oh and there were often times my concerns or thoughts weren't addressed at all by my former owner. I took that as, he is not my savior, god, or fixer of all things - these were my personal demons to sort, and if I took advantage of the time given to me to sort them, I usually came up with some pretty good answers myself. This helped me a great deal to analyze and problem solve on my own, and in retrospect I am grateful for it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 11:46:13 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Him responding in his own time, not yours is one thing. But you state that he frequently says that and doesn't ever respond at all. I have to assume that this cyber romance thing was fun for him but isn't a priority. Up to you to decide if you want to continue to make someone a priority for whom you are merely an option.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 12:57:45 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Perhaps there are differing expectations for each other, and the relationship.  If that's the case, then one or both of you will end up frustrated and disillusioned.  The only way to know is to talk openly and honestly about it with each other.  You cannot find answers, or mutual agreement, here.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 1:36:53 PM   
Gage46Bstn


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/8/2008
From: Master Greg
Status: offline 		Three months is a very short time. I am not sure an on line Master and slave relationship can exist beyond a certain point. Talking and meetimg are too important. It does not sound like your Master is not paying attention to you. More importantly not communicating why?
I try hard to confine my search for a slave to New England when I see profiles. Sometimes the perfect candidate is in somewhere like Utah - it's hard to resist an email to say hello and then he may return it with the perfect response. Where do we go from here?

Give youself a break and look closer to home.

Master Greg 

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 1:53:35 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I know I never answer e-mails promptly. I hate e-mails personally, I'd rather talk via IM or phone. Maybe he's just too busy to deal with an on line only relationship. Perhaps the next time you look it will be closer to home and easier to keep tabs on and control?

(in reply to Gage46Bstn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 2:36:00 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		Being somewhat innovative at times, I had a Dom once who would read my emails and not answer them, at all and I had no idea why. So I once sent a BLANK email to him. He laughed and said to me "Boy, you were full of information!" I replied, That's what if feels like when you don't answer my emails. His reply was "ouch"

Still didn't change anything! LOL That's why HE a Dom I ONCE Had! LOL

Dreamer

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 2:48:05 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I am curious.... have the two of you ever met?  if you haven't is there plans to meet?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 2:52:23 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm confused... are you actually flyboy?  If so, then did your owner change the profile without you knowing, saying he wasn't keeping you any longer?


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 6:13:56 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I'm confused... are you actually flyboy?  If so, then did your owner change the profile without you knowing, saying he wasn't keeping you any longer?


Cali



I read the profile as well   and am confused all to hell


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 6:19:51 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

I read the profile as well   and am confused all to hell



oh the embarassement of it all... One moment your a slave in a life long committed relationship to servitude... and the next minute you read that you have been dumped!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 6:53:32 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		You are being overly sensitive..it is an online thing only and that is like dating on email.  If you want someone committed, get someone you will get to screw at some point in  your life...just don't get the long distance, never meeting, online thing.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 7:00:11 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		After you have actually meet and have problems get back to me.

Mike

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/2/2008 11:15:50 PM   
FlyboysOwner


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		All

Many thanks for the many diverse and varied answers - it has certainly given me lots to think about! 

Re the profile - sorry for the confusion - I'm not flyboy but rather his Owner.  Over the past year I have gone from Mistress to sub (possibly slave) and don't feel that I can devote the time to flyboy hence the exploration for anothe Mistress/Owner for him.


(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/3/2008 6:28:04 AM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		Huh, ok.  Clear as mud.  

(in reply to FlyboysOwner)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? - 12/8/2008 12:51:04 AM   
DomDG


Posts: 63
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		And yes, this why I don't get cyber only 'collars'.  Sorry, not for me.  I don't mind LDR as long as it's not too LD and we can have regular times of together.  But to commit to anyone over the wwweb and even phone is not real enough for me.

_____________________________

D
A sub with too much time on her hands should spend more on their knees.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Am i being overly-sensitive? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078