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Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 10:45:38 PM

Sensualips

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KofM's post regarding the "Flip or not to Flip" got me thinking about mind fucks. If that scenario was intended to be a mind fuck, (which I am not sure it is) it is not the type I would engage in or enjoy. I tend to shy away from anything that I perceive as proving trust by doing something that appears to be very unsafe. It did get me thinking about mind fucks in general.

If you are attracted to this type of play, what are some things you have done or had done to you? Was the desired result achieved?

**I did a quick search and found only one thread devoted to this months ago, but I bet LA may have some more. Sadism or Abuse

Post #: 1

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 10:53:11 PM

michaelGA

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what is the current definition of "mind fuck"?

i know there's many out there...but, i am curious about the basis for it these days.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 2

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 10:54:15 PM

Sensualips

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Well, my definition is creating a situation where there is an illusion something is happening or might happen in an attempt to heighten the experience for the fuckee. It could be tapping into fear, but could be giving it an edge in another way.

For me a good mind fuck is not something that is malicious or an excuse to cross an established limit. Perhaps others define it differently?

I have really only participated in or observed what I would call "mind tweaks." Most recently I went to a play party with a s/D couple, and a "new" submissive. She was anxious/nervous, but also enthusiastic about attending and observing. After we had arrived my Dominant friend summoned "the submissives" to come with him. He proceeded to put his submissive and the new girl in wrist and ankle cuffs (just the cuffs, not attached to anything) and had them both stand to be measured as he prepared the scene area. She returned to me wide eyed, whispering, and off-balance. She did NOT scene that night -- it was never even mentioned or discussed -- but she teetered on the edge of eager wonderment all night long. By the time we all returned home, well, she was certainly "ready." It was so simple, no words exchanged, and quite effective.

I had a non-bdsm partner that did not have bisexuality as a hard limit, but also had some anxiety over it. One night we were playing with another couple when I tied him up and blindfolded him. After some brief sensation play, I whispered in his ear "Are you ready for that first bi experience?" I continued to whisper in his ear and describe the action as he received and enjoyed an impressive blow job. The blindfold was removed and he glanced, half embarassed, down at the man sitting between his legs. It wasn't until the girl kissed him (with a mouthful of "evidence") that he realized she had been the giver all along. Or was she? Hmmmm. Hee hee, that just makes me smile as I recall it.

Tweaks I have had done on me mostly involved hearing an unidentified, or identified and disliked, sound when I could not see what was coming.

< Message edited by Sensualips -- 12/25/2005 11:00:05 PM >

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 3

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 11:00:25 PM

dincubus

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Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
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Personally, i do not agree with mind fucks as a rule. personally i would never do one to my sub nor would i expect her to do one to me. mind games is one of my "hard limits". i have dated women in the past that have been victims of severe and cruel mind fucks and it has been some times before they had trusted me to the point where they would allow me to be intimate with them. so i would not cross those lines ever with anyone. tweaking, i do seperate the two, is another story. i know some here may view the two as one and the same, but to me they are not.
for example, the "flip or not to flip" posting, is in my opinion, a huge mind fuck. where as, building up anticipation of something, a gift, and having it be something totally different but better than what you told the person, would classify as a tweak to me.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 4

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 11:00:34 PM

michaelGA

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as someone who does not desire to have a "bi-experience" i would feel ill after such play, especially if the girl in this situation attempted to give me the "evidence". but that's just me, i guess.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 5

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/25/2005 11:26:57 PM

Sensualips

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Well Michael, if you were a regular play partner of mine I would know this about you. I believe mind fucks -- and most types of play or aspects of wiitwd -- are not one-size-fits-all.

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 6

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 1:22:21 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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From my understanding of so-called mind fucks, I'd bracket them with "practical" jokes and want no part of them....

I recall a simple example I once saw in a BDSM movie - no recollection of it's name, though.

Basically, while binding her, a dom informed his sub that he was gonna put a simple brand on her breasts. To one side but where she could easily see it, a knife was being heated in an open flame. He then blind-folded her and told her to prepare herself for the branding. Then he produced a second hidden knife which was immersed in ice cubes and dragged it across her breasts. She duly yelped from the sensation shock and the "mind-fuck" was complete.

It's also a scenario that was more recently reprised in the non BDSM movie, "The Punisher", as a torture method. Much like threatening a victim with an empty gun, I can see it's merit on a hated enemy but I'd still never do it to my girl. Or leave it for frat boy initiations etc....

Focus.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 7

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 1:30:51 AM

willing2serve

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quote:

If you are attracted to this type of play, what are some things you have done or had done to you? Was the desired result achieved?

Yes, I am very much attracted to this type of play; however, I am a very curious person in search of that ultimate feeling.

disclaimer: i must say the partners that i have engaged this type of play with, extreme trust was involved.

The wildest mind fuck that left quite an impression on me was the illusion of having a lit candle placed up inside of me. I dont know the secret, but it was explained to me it was done as in the same concept of how fire eaters perform.

I truly believe the desired result was achieved because this Dom wanted me to trust him with my safety and yet produce a fear and both levels were achieved.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 8

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 2:14:48 AM

candystripper

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The best i can do is those dumb ass consultant presentations i sat through as a lawyer for the state. They were supposed to alter the agency's climate, which for the most part was "do nothing that another political party might object to". Employees were generally trying to position themselves to survive elections and still be employed. Frankly, it lead to complete paralysis in most employees.

Generally i found these seminars laughable and wondered who was f**king who to get these juicy contracts with the state for all this hot air. Throwing a ping pong ball so it remained aloft; pondering what to do after a plane crash in the desert; leaving the plane or not (i chose remaining) and taking either the water or the gun (i took the gun).

i imagine consultants have their place in the business world. i can certainly see the value of a pair of fresh eyes going over a business' quarterlys. But when they get into "training for teamwork", etc., it becomes sorta dumb -- if teamwork is valued by the supervisors and rewarded accordingly, it will increase. If, as is the rule, supervisors use fear to manage people, teamwork is a pipe dream.

i cannot imagine anything like Lady Zepher described; but She did add the caveat that this type of play was limited to those whom She trusted implictly. Even so, i doubt this is right for me.

i guess i like a cock to be used when i am f**kd, LMAO.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/26/2005 2:22:29 AM >

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 9

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 2:42:10 AM

ExistentialSteel

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A mindfuck by definition is extreme. It has to be totally believed to be a mindfuck. If you are in the habit of often doing tests of loyalty, I submit that you are not doing true mindfucks as the sub knows the parachute will open.

These should be done rarely and only when you want beneficial, behavior changing results. Testing a sub’s loyalty can best be done in other ways. With this she will experience such emotional sways, that she will never be the same.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 10

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 4:45:20 AM

candystripper

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ExSteeel -- sounds like a lot more than some boring exercise is nvolved in a "mind fuck". To me it smacks of gamesmanship; if this is done to test a subbie's loyaty, why not just ask her? If You cannot believe her response and think she's lying, then why are You with her?

As for playing with someone's emotions to the point where a scar is left for life; this seems beyond sadistic and a violation of the Dom's duty to protect the subbie from harm.

Do i have this right, or have i made mistakes in trying to understand?

candystripper

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 11

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 5:34:17 AM

MHOO314

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I agree with the comments about a total "mind fuck"--taken to extremes, it can break an amost fragile psyche--and is nothing to mess with---but hmm I don't know what one would call it--I play mind games with boy--to provide him with the strenght of a regular connection--not phone sex , but unexpected things that pull out his submission at totally vanilla moments ( never where he would be publically humiliated)--for example--I called him on Friday as I was running errands-- he was in the middle of the lighting department at Home depot---we chatted like any other couple, then I turned the talk to "things" heard the submissive silence, and said "on that note, have a great day" and hung up--<wicked grins>--it puts him on the edge--

In play I use the whisper of My voice to tease, torment, create the edge, but never to an extreme that pushes a hard limit, causes extreme fear or extreme anxiety--the psyche is just not something to mess with--no matter how much trust because trust includes the protection of one's mind, heart, soul and body, IMHO--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 12

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 6:40:34 AM

JohnWarren

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

Well Michael, if you were a regular play partner of mine I would know this about you. I believe mind fucks -- and most types of play or aspects of wiitwd -- are not one-size-fits-all.

Very true. In the lecture/demo on mindfucks I give, I start off by telling the class that before doing any of this sort of thing one has to know one's partner very very well.

Next demo will be at SPICE on January 15th www.spicebdsm.com

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 13

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 7:25:06 AM

IrishMist

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I hate mind fucks, always have lol.

While married, it was known that in no way did I ever want to be shared with another...my husband played cards every Thursday, and would take me along. Once, before going, he had mentioned the possibility of me pulling train...put me in such a state that there was nothing I wanted to do more than just kick and scream and say NO WAY. The whole time they were playing cards, I would be tearing myself up inside wondering if this was going to be 'the night' that he requested it.

/shudders

It still brings chills to my skin to think about it lol.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 14

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 9:02:28 AM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

Well Michael, if you were a regular play partner of mine I would know this about you. I believe mind fucks -- and most types of play or aspects of wiitwd -- are not one-size-fits-all.

Very true. In the lecture/demo on mindfucks I give, I start off by telling the class that before doing any of this sort of thing one has to know one's partner very very well.

Next demo will be at SPICE on January 15th www.spicebdsm.com

mmmmmmmm well I am planning to be down there next november.... mmmmmmmmmm maybe another one can be can be planned for then... would love to listen to your lecture on the subject, But maybe someone can take notes in January for me mmmmmmmmmm I wonder who I could get *s* ....

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 15

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 9:05:31 AM

veronicaofML

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From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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with ALL due respect;

i am told to understand...this topic is very real and people enjoy it;
ok
but for ME
i apologize but with MY anger issues..i fear someone could get hurt if i mis qued something someone said...
take care
and play safe

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 16

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 9:13:29 AM

kyraofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Very true. In the lecture/demo on mindfucks I give, I start off by telling the class that before doing any of this sort of thing one has to know one's partner very very well.

Next demo will be at SPICE on January 15th www.spicebdsm.com

mmmmmmmm well I am planning to be down there next november.... mmmmmmmmmm maybe another one can be can be planned for then... would love to listen to your lecture on the subject, But maybe someone can take notes in January for me mmmmmmmmmm I wonder who I could get *s* ....

Marks calendar for the date.... my Lord somehow I knew I would receive this instruction. I have to renew my membership anyway *g*

kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 17

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 10:02:48 AM

Sensualips

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Joined: 10/8/2005
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quote:

Next demo will be at SPICE on January 15th

Sigh, I have to wait till April. But that will give me plenty of time to prepare questions, right?

Well darn it, many warnings (point taken) but not many in this thread are giving me good ideas. I guess I will be forced to rely on my own imagination then and be less lazy.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 18

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 10:25:44 AM

swtnsparkling

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As one who has been fortunate enough to sit on this lecture. It was wonderful and I hope I am able to attend one again. I had no idea what a mindfuck was until that lecture. Any one who isn't sure what a mindfuck is or think they are harmful should try to attend.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 19

RE: Mind Fucks - 12/26/2005 12:18:51 PM

JohnWarren

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

As one who has been fortunate enough to sit on this lecture. It was wonderful and I hope I am able to attend one again. I had no idea what a mindfuck was until that lecture. Any one who isn't sure what a mindfuck is or think they are harmful should try to attend.

Thank you. It's one of my favorites. Sadly it's a bit difficult to do since the airlines are so touchy about people putting blow torches in their checked luggage these days. Fortunately, I can drive to Spice

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 20

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