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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 7:54:29 AM

SassySarijane

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I'm a voracious reader and read for fun as well as to learn. I don't limit myself to what "reflects my orientation" and never would. I think that's narrow minded and stupid. I have quite a number of nonfiction books about aspects of bdsm and they cover more than my orientation most definitely. Why would someone think I'd need to be so limited like that? Wouldn't it be better to get understanding of all or many aspects rather than just one? Seems to me that would be a better rounded understanding then. The guy comes off as intimidated by knowledgeable submissives thinking like that. What is he afraid of? Just my opinion on it.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 7:57:44 AM

sexisubi

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i can see why he thinks it, the sense that the submissive starts to get into the mind set on a more constaint bases. However personally i feel that education of all kinds is importent in a person. i love talking about different things and that includes; different books, movies, art, cooking, oh my god this list could go on and on!

If my Master were to tell me i could only watch the Secratery and read submissive literature, me thinks i would go nutz. Expecially since i am in college, i write music, poetry and short stories.. This new rule would possibly keep my selection for developing new ideas a bit limited if i was restricting myself on expanding my knowlege. i usually am very good! i don't like to do things wrong so i try very hard to get them right, i do everything that is asked to the best of my ability (yes i slip up we all do but i do try very hard) i think this is the one order i would possibly delibratly break.

added note: isn't it kinda like telling my gay friend that he/she should only read gay literature cause it's their orientation?

< Message edited by sexisubi -- 12/3/2008 8:08:40 AM >

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:05:48 AM

alianora

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quote:

If you are talking about BDSM materials then yes, I do think reading a wide range of sources about bottoming and submitting is beneficial. There's a world outside of BDSM.

I'd even suggest you read some books about topping as well to gain better insight frankly. When I've mentored others tops/dom I insisted they read widely without regard to orientation both scene and sexual orientations so they could get the bigger picture and really think about matters.

Yes Ma'am. What I bolded is what he and the others were pretty much siding on; though their idea was that it should be more of this kind of reading and less of other kinds.
If you don't mind me asking please? Why would you make that suggestion though? I can almost understand it from a point of view of being new and attempting to learn, but other than that, is there a specific reason why you would suggest reading of this kind?

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:05:49 AM

DarkSteven

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This bothers me a lot. One of the purposes of a book is to open the reader to a different world. When I read about Harry Potter, I am not a schoolboy nor a wizard nor a Britisher - the book has value because it puts me into those worlds. And what does it say about me that I read Stephen King?

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:06:59 AM

missturbation

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I kind of hope what books you read don't say too much about a person. I've just finished Laurell K Hamiltons second vampire slayer book and before that i was reading love letters of great men. A weird mix i guess.
Not as weird as someone i know though they have just finished barack obamas book and are now reading about a mafia gangster kinda person - worrying lol

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:07:11 AM

Lashra

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This sounds rather silly to me. Does he believe that since your submissive that you should read only cookbooks and Good Housekeeping? Geez, sounds to me like he might be a bit close minded.

Read what interests you as a person, that is what I do and frankly I think it has no reflection whatsoever on ones orientation.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:08:18 AM

mummyman321

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Knowledge is the source of Wisdom. Reading is a great source of knowledge. My opinion is you should read whatever you enjoy reading. Stimulate your mind. Everyone should be able to read whatever they want. Now if you were only reading only books on how to become a serial murder then I might get concerned. Hitler tried to prevent people from reading books. Look where it got him.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:26:29 AM

gumshoe

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Sure reading can alter your world-view to some degree, but that depends upon how persuasive an argument the author offers. Some people write to do just this.

A good example of which must be the Dommes on these boards who seem to be continually putting up posts to dissuade the subbies to stop treating them as fantasy fodder and wasting their time.

That said I think reading The Iliad and The Odysey have about as much chance as making you dominant as reading Mein Kampf has of making you a nazi.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 8:36:58 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: alianora

quote:

If you are talking about BDSM materials then yes, I do think reading a wide range of sources about bottoming and submitting is beneficial. There's a world outside of BDSM.

I'd even suggest you read some books about topping as well to gain better insight frankly. When I've mentored others tops/dom I insisted they read widely without regard to orientation both scene and sexual orientations so they could get the bigger picture and really think about matters.

Yes Ma'am. What I bolded is what he and the others were pretty much siding on; though their idea was that it should be more of this kind of reading and less of other kinds.
If you don't mind me asking please? Why would you make that suggestion though? I can almost understand it from a point of view of being new and attempting to learn, but other than that, is there a specific reason why you would suggest reading of this kind?

It can be helpful to see other people's experiences and looks at their advice much like one can with a mentor or a friend you talk to.

But having it in print allows you to think longer about information. Reflecting on information can be a great way to help you figure out what may or may not work for you with less risk than rushing into scenes with people.

Like I said, I'd also suggest you read things written for tops. That can help you appreciate the other side of things.

I'm a book reviewer so if you want any specific suggestions, just send me a private email and we can see what sorts of things you are interested in learning more or exploring more.

Never stop reading all types of literature outside of BDSM though if you are looking for fiction you might try my books (wink wink, nudge nudge).

Personally I'm far more attracted to someone who can tell me what book he's read last month and his opinion of it than someone who hasn't picked up a book in a year. As an ancient historian your initial choices that your original post mentioned intrigued me but I would never limit myself to only academic or ancient materials either.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 9:00:33 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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I read what ever sparks my curiosity, being a slave has nothing to do with my choice in reading or vice versa. Saying that my orientation is somehow connected to my choice in literature is just idiotic and ignorant.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 9:58:34 AM

alianora

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quote:

It can be helpful to see other people's experiences and looks at their advice much like one can with a mentor or a friend you talk to.

But having it in print allows you to think longer about information. Reflecting on information can be a great way to help you figure out what may or may not work for you with less risk than rushing into scenes with people.

Ahhhh, ok...thankyou. It makes much more sense when put that way. As I said earlier, I could almost understand why he said what he said, but I was having a hard time putting that understanding to a level of ' oh ok, yes, you have a good point and one that I can agree with'

Thank you all so much for your input

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 10:30:03 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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When I say I'm a voracious reader, I mean that I will read anything I can get my hands on. From TV guides, to romance novels, to cereal boxes, to mechanic manuals and yes even The Illiad - which keeps a place of honor on my bookshelf right next to a book on Taoism, a book on Buddhism and a Harry Potter book, among other eclectic reading material. I think there's even a children's book there too. It isn't uncommon for me to have 2 or 3 books going at the same time, one in each of the rooms I frequent the most.

I don't, personally, think the guy is an idiot for thinking the way he does. It is pretty common for people to encourage submissives to read things that 'feed' the submissive mentality. In one househould I was in, part of the slave contract was to read specified books in a specified order. You couldn't even 'graduate' beyond a house slave until you had followed their syllabus. From this particular approach, the belief is that you nurture the mind with things that focus the submissive (slaves) mindset.

Again, I don't think he's an idiot. I just think it is potentially narrow minded, and negates the different ways in which people process their own individuality and personal growth. Besides which, it competely fails to take into account that people often need or simply wan to ENJOY themselves and lose themselves into a fictional realm, and it doesn't have to be all about the hard work of becoming the best submissive you can be.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/3/2008 10:33:13 AM >

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 10:38:48 AM

Lynnxz

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What exactly is a submissive book in the first place?

O.o

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 10:51:37 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

What exactly is a submissive book in the first place?

O.o

Maybe?

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 10:53:27 AM

aravain

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Fast Reply:

When I read to learn it's for school, or to better myself. I rarely 'read to learn' and enjoy it. Thus, I rarely do it unless I need to, or I percieve a need to.

However what I read for pleasure... I read for pleasure. Who cares if I'm reading Homer, Shakespeare, Carey, etc. if I'm reading them for enjoyment? I find more pleasure in reading in the writing styles of authors than I even do in plot and story, sometimes, does that mean I'm not reading 'right' too?

If I were saying 'I'm trying to learn about submissiveness from X book' well, that's a different story, but even then I think it's quite silly to suggest that I should *only* read books that would reinforce submissive/dominant/switch behavior (depending on your identity) even when I read for no reason other than pleasure.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 10:56:12 AM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

What exactly is a submissive book in the first place?

O.o

Maybe?

Lmao!

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 12:47:52 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

What exactly is a submissive book in the first place?

O.o

Maybe?

LOL ok that's hilarious

I guess approved submissive reading would be things like "how to be a better slave 101" or "The Surrendered Wife" (which i just ordered actually lol)

For me I read anything that peaks my interest. News Magazines, medical journals, Harry Potter books,

I tend to gravitate towards mystery and horror. Steven King, Laurel K Hamilton, Dean Koontz, John Grisham, Anne Rice.... etc etc etc

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 12:58:28 PM

kidwithknife

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Wow. How many times can someone read "The Story of O" without losing interest?

(For me, the answer is "about 20 pages").

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 1:13:40 PM

MissAnimus

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I read whatever I want. I read almost anything I can get my hands on. If nothing else it's good to expand my vocabulary although those four letter words are just so convenient and direct.

I know it's not the point of the thread but the first thing that popped into my head was what about Penelope in the Odyssey? She's a minor character but she's definitely a strong one...and it's definitely not her station in life to be dominant.

Personally I'm all about Circe- she's a woman after my own heart. Muahaha.

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RE: Should reading material reflect a persons orientation? - 12/3/2008 1:22:05 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

I should instead direct my reading interests towards books that ‘reflected my station’ in life

You should instead direct your attention towards people who grasp the distinction between a submissive and a subway.

An illiterate/poorly read slave.....had better be a student.

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