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DavanKael -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/3/2008 5:15:47 PM)
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ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad
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ORIGINAL: Rover
Concentrating on the issue in this thread....
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ORIGINAL: persephonee
my point, and i do have one...is that while it is a fundamental tenant of D/s that there be a Master and a slave...Dom/sub....sometimes serving the best interest of the dynamic doesnt coincide with what either party might really want...in this case, an unfortunate ultimatum...
If he is to *be* Master, he has to begin by acting like Master. If he wants to make a choice that's in his own best interest rather than her best interest or the best interest of the relationship, so be it. That's his perogative. If he wants to do what is best for the relationship at the expense of his own best interest, that is also his choice. And finally, if he wants to serve her interests, at the expense of the relationship and his own best interest, that too is up to him.
The point is, no matter what he decides, no matter what reasoning he uses.... HE has to decide (not us). And in doing so, no matter what his decision, he has reinforced the dynamic. And he is, literally, Master.
That's really my point. Though I was much less verbose in my initial post. When you get brevity from me, accept it happily. ;)
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lets help the man decide what to do...shall we?
If he needs someone to reinforce the fact that he can make this decision, and by doing so he's fulfilling his obligation to a power exchange dynamic, by all means let's help him. But if helping him means making the decision for him, or advocating what he *should* decide, then we are (in my opinion) doing him a great disservice.
He knows the issues. He knows the consequences to those issues. He expressed them very well. He just doesn't want to decide. Well, I'm not going to do that for him.
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(wow, im soooo unruly tonite....someone needs a spanking...)
I'm sure there are ample volunteers. ;)
John
I'm using this thread as sounding board for careful thought. Ending a relationship or giving an ultimatum is very serious business. How one goes about laying down an ultimatum or ending things requires equal careful thought.
DogGoneBad----
Except that you haven't provided any important details!!! All you've put forth are some vagaries that people are picking up and running with. Do you needspecific questions asked of you or can you detail your own circumstance a bit more thoroughly so that people can understand what you're actually talking about rather than rattling around in their head about theoreticals?
Davan
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