RE: Ultimatum or end it

RE: Ultimatum or end it (Full Version)

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MsFlutter -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 1:42:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad ...I've been debating about laying down an ultimatum or ending things. The issue this is over is one that I can not deal with anymore. She is aware that I have a problem over this issue. I thought the issue was resolved on her end. Last night during a phone conversation she brought up the fact it was still going on. I'm going to throw some paint at the wall here. Sounds to me like she may have already detached and is just waiting to be 'released'. She's TELLING you its still going on - expecting you to act. So act ! Its never worth making yourself crazy. You'll find relief on the other side of the decision.

LadyPact -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 2:02:29 PM)
There really is very little to go on here. Now that I've read the thread, I've learned more about some having fun little thoughts about David Duchovny more than I have the situation in the OP. However, I'm going to say one thing about the ultimatum concept. Please consider, OP, that there are a lot of folks on both sides of the kneel who see ultimatums the way I do. Unless you do want the relationship to end, they are pointless. You may get what you want by throwing that little gem of "do this or it's over" out there, but at the same time, you're also basically telling the person that whatever "it" is, whether major or minor, is more important than anything you have said concerning commitment to the other person. It cracks the foundation of the dynamic that you have tried to build. So, even if you get what you want from using the tactic, you may also get something you don't want.

NorthernGent -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 3:29:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad This is a new relationship. I did express my expectation already, this is why I debate about ending it instead of giving an ultimatum. Third option? No ultimatum and let her make her choice - in the event of the wrong choice, humiliate her and kick her out of your home.

Rover -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 3:39:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent Third option? No ultimatum and let her make her choice - in the event of the wrong choice, humiliate her and kick her out of your home. Ok, I'm picturing a sadistic Monty Hall playing "Let's Make A Deal".... "Do you want what's behind door number one, number two, or number three? Or the envelope I have in my hand?" Sadly, the spectacle may be lost on you Brits. John

persephonee -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 4:07:15 PM)
i dont know if they consider that a great loss there, John...just sayin

daddysliloneds -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:06:23 PM)
when things are so bad that one party actually feels the need to hand down an ultimatum to another, the relationship is already over in my eyes.

DavanKael -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:26:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eri quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael perse---- I got the vagaries of what he's saying but, I mean if it's a "she cheated for the 15th time" situation versus a "she put the toilet paper on the dispenser with the paper dispensing over the roll rather than behind the roll" situation, these are details that will likely impact my answer to his OP. I'm really not trying to bash the dude, but I've asked him several times for more info and he's not responded...hmmm, wonder if that plays out in his relationships; maybe. I just don't know! But, the post is being made interesting via the side conversations. Davan (Who'd offer to let perse and simpleplan < and mc1234 for making so much sense!!! > have their way with David while she's got him chained up; see, I play nicely with other when treated well :> ) No, this is just you being nosey. It does not matter what actions have caused him to reach this point. He isn't asking you for your opinion on her behaviour. He isn't saying, "If you had a sub and she did -this- would you give her an ultimatum or end it?" He's saying, "I've reached a point where I am considering either giving an ultimatum or ending this relationship." Then he's weighing out the pros and cons. Wow, I hope you're kidding; if you're not, I fear for what you think is an adequate level of communication when an issue arises in a relationship. Regardless, I question your decorum as you make rude statements like calling someone "nosey" who has expressed, several times, in several ways, a willingness to try to weigh in with more information...and, I am not the only one who has asked the guy for more information. I couldn't care less about the dude in question but I do try to offer thoughtful answers to people on threads and he's not given enough information to answer the basic question that youve boiled it down to. The devil IS in the details. Davan (Whose nose, she has it on good authority, is cute)

DavanKael -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:31:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael mc1234---- I tried to perv your profile but was thwarted; it said one was not found; what's up? Ah .... I've just been having a bad run of it lately. Thought I'd found someone, so I took my profile down for awhile to quiet the mail while I concentrated on him. Found out today it wasn't going to work out ... sigh ... back up again [;)] quote: Ambien...aaaargh; makes me think my keyboard is melting and then I am hung over for half the day after I wake up. Hope it does less evil things to you. It does - it works beautifully, though sometimes I get that melty thing going too. Once I thought my dog was under the comforter because it was moving around so much - but he was in the other room! I only take half now! quote: Duchovny iin cuffs and on his knees...far more soothing a thought. :> Davan You know, I don't have much of the Domme in me, but for him .... yeah, I could get into that. lol I'm so sorry that the relationship you'd been focused on isn't going to work out. < sending much sympathy > Glad that you have better luck with the stuff than do I; I'd pretty much make the sign of the cross and back off hissing if someone tried to make me take it, lol! Eh, you know, sometimes that more Dominant side finds focus; I peg him for a subby boy. I think he'd be much fun. :> Davan

simpleplan2 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:33:06 PM)
Ladies, ladies, ladies. I'm no where near being done with the boy yet. And when I am...I doubt there will be much left :)

DavanKael -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:36:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simpleplan2 Ladies, ladies, ladies. I'm no where near being done with the boy yet. And when I am...I doubt there will be much left :) Now why, oh, why, would you want to destroy the boy; just wear him out repetitiously and then bring him on over and 'rinse and repeat' as the shampoo bottle says. Davan

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 5:51:49 PM)
Oh hell. I still don't know what the problem is. I must be like a block of wood. If she is cheating ... dump her. If its a disagreement over some little thing, talk it out like adults. Quite whining and talk to her. To the ladies perving over David D, well, I sure as hell look nothing like him. No wonder I'm alone. There ... I said it.

persephonee -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 6:57:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael mc1234---- I tried to perv your profile but was thwarted; it said one was not found; what's up? Ah .... I've just been having a bad run of it lately. Thought I'd found someone, so I took my profile down for awhile to quiet the mail while I concentrated on him. Found out today it wasn't going to work out ... sigh ... back up again [;)] quote: Ambien...aaaargh; makes me think my keyboard is melting and then I am hung over for half the day after I wake up. Hope it does less evil things to you. It does - it works beautifully, though sometimes I get that melty thing going too. Once I thought my dog was under the comforter because it was moving around so much - but he was in the other room! I only take half now! quote: Duchovny iin cuffs and on his knees...far more soothing a thought. :> Davan You know, I don't have much of the Domme in me, but for him .... yeah, I could get into that. lol I'm so sorry that the relationship you'd been focused on isn't going to work out. < sending much sympathy > Glad that you have better luck with the stuff than do I; I'd pretty much make the sign of the cross and back off hissing if someone tried to make me take it, lol! Eh, you know, sometimes that more Dominant side finds focus; I peg him for a subby boy. I think he'd be much fun. :> Davan HELL TO THE NO....i leave this thread for a piddly little while and suddenly David Duchovny is a submissive?????????? Now, im going to give you all a chance to take that back... [sm=boxer.gif] or else. perse

kiwisub12 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:07:30 PM)
Umm - - sorry perse - i see him omore as a subbie too. now Russell Crowe on the other hand - total dominant! drools on keyboard

simpleplan2 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:10:32 PM)
Russell Crowe? Give me a break! Harrison Ford? Not just yeah, but O Hell Yeah!

persephonee -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:11:40 PM)
alright.... [sm=writing.gif]<----shitlist 1. kiwi

simpleplan2 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:14:01 PM)
Brandon Fraser...not a dom but so fucking cute!

persephonee -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:16:55 PM)
i am going to ignore you until Duchovny's dominant nature is restored to the boards....or until i get home tomorrow. have to leave for work nite all. try to behave.

IrishMist -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:43:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad I've been debating about laying down an ultimatum or ending things. The issue this is over is one that I can not deal with anymore. She is aware that I have a problem over this issue. I thought the issue was resolved on her end. Last night during a phone conversation she brought up the fact it was still going on. If I make the decision to end things, it will be final. There will be no second chances or turning back. If I lay down an ultimatum it gives her one last opportunity or chance. I can not press forward in the relationship as long as this is still going on. In fact, I will end up emotionally detaching from her. She has not taken this issue as a serious matter. From what you say here, it would appear that either way you decide to go, someone is going to be on the losing end. My advice would be to end the relationship now before both of you become so resentful.

mc1234 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 7:57:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I'm so sorry that the relationship you'd been focused on isn't going to work out. < sending much sympathy > Glad that you have better luck with the stuff than do I; I'd pretty much make the sign of the cross and back off hissing if someone tried to make me take it, lol! Eh, you know, sometimes that more Dominant side finds focus; I peg him for a subby boy. I think he'd be much fun. :> Davan Thanks much for the sympathy. I can use it tonight. I'd be feeling all 'woe-is-mee-ish' except for the Ambien. lol And I think you're 100% right on him being a sub boy ... and would be much fun indeed!!

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Ultimatum or end it (12/4/2008 8:40:11 PM)
and you wonder why people shoot other people sometimes we drive people to be nut cases

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