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do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 6:48:47 AM   
offered2u321


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline 		Ladies,

Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching.    Is this largely the case?      If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?    Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too?     Thx
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 6:54:45 AM   
Mistresscali007


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		I personally don't search simply because I have no need to, my mailbox is usually overwhelmed as it is! lol

(in reply to offered2u321)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 7:46:55 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: offered2u321

Ladies,

Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching.    Is this largely the case?      If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?    Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too?     Thx


Right now I'm not looking therefore I'm not looking... get it?

When I was open to expanding my household I didn't look either so much as open myself to the possibilities when I went to munches and events. I keep my eyes and ears open to new buddies and to new potentials and that is how I've found every good submissive I've trained and every good slave I've been privileged to own.

In general though, its a basic matter of supply and demand. If the demand for anything, people included, is less than the demand, those supplying need to do little attract attention to themselves other than put themselves out there in the most basic way. Fair or not, it is basic economics and it works for human relationships on that initial step of finding each other as well as cars, food, and clothes, etc.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to offered2u321)
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RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 8:53:16 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		You'll have to define proactive searching.. I do look, looked at you for example when you first posted in this forum, that said... I periodically get fed up with what I find so I often spend long periods of time not bothering.  I check people out now and then when a photo or name or forum post looks interesting -- but that's about it.  I tend not to write -- my shot across the bow is looking at a profile, if they look back, I figure they'll write if they want.  I will only write if I have something moderately interesting to say... *ahem* for example... to you

nice bike

and to answer the question, I do prefer some sort of interest from the other party... while I'm dominant, I'm not aggressive except in certain situations...


*grin*


quote:

ORIGINAL: offered2u321

Ladies,

Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching.    Is this largely the case?      If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?    Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too?     Thx


< Message edited by Madame4a -- 12/4/2008 8:55:52 AM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to offered2u321)
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RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 8:53:50 AM   
DVsFox


Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		My Owner found me, though she wasn't exactly looking for me.  She did indeed make the first contact.  However, she is always proactive in contacting new people.

DV's Fox

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 8:54:29 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I do a lot of proactive searching, write to those that interest me, all that sort of thing.  Not too many interest me, though.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:03:57 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I will look at profiles when I have time, but I read more than submissive's profiles.  I am not searching when I look.  My life is such that I wouldn't invite anyone to this party and most run from it anyway, so I let them contact me if they are interested in knowing me.  If they read the profile they know that the challenges are there and then... hey... it's fair game! hehe 

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:04:24 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: offered2u321

Ladies,

Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching.    Is this largely the case?      If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?    Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too?     Thx


With the volume of potentials that contacted me first, I didnt have time to make contact for a while. Once that tapered off, I went looking for what and who I wanted rather than waiting to see if someone came to me.
I dont care who makes the advances, honestly, but when I went through my mailbox and the vast majority of those contacting me had made no effort to find out what I was actually looking for before offering themselves to me, I realized I would have no luck finding what I wanted that way. So, I read profiles and made contact myself, and started ignoring the majroty of those contacting me unless it was obvious they read my profile first. Most, amazingly, dont.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to offered2u321)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:20:43 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I wanted to add that while you might find that an old paradigm -- it can simply be a preference for some.  It *is* my preference, but I will contact someone if I want.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:26:39 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I look at profiles, all sorts of profiles. I am a curious person. Sometimes I email interesting looking people. That does NOT mean I want to own them. It just means that something about them interested me in some way. It could have been something funny they wrote on their profile or a photo that caught my eye for some reason.

I certainly do not look at every submissive female as a potential slave for me. That's just silliness. I simply like getting to know, new people.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to offered2u321)
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RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:39:26 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I look; I sometimes message.  It's rare though.  We have very little interest in anyone who doesn't have the initiative or the confidence to message us - if a boy doesn't message us, then that's what we see.  Right or wrong, that's how it is - particularly when, as others have said, we have plenty of messages in our inbox. 

Whether or not it's a supply/demand issue, you have to do something to stand out to someone even when looking for a "normal" relationship ... this is really no different.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:39:31 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		So far I've found the interest search and the unsolicited mails I've gotten have proven to be enough. I will keep open to finding a girl, but right now I'm working on consolidating things with the new Boy.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 9:43:24 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Yep, my Lady found me too.  

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 10:19:30 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I looked... and I like that pic!!! Very nice profile!! And welcome to the boards.
 
Seriously... I do look, I even write on occasion. But being poly makes it a lot tougher. There seems to be waaaay to many misconceptions out there... lol. But yeah, I look. Between that and the fact that I love my frozen north and all the snow that goes with it... well, I do look.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 11:38:43 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have looked for males and females here, so far I've been disappointed with my findings. After a an initial chat, maybe a few email exchanges they want to hook up for kinky sex, or I find out they lied to me about important things. I tell them from the get go I am a slow mover and in no rush so unless your willing to be patient until I feel the time is right, don't waste my time or yours.

So for now I've stopped looking.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to offered2u321)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 12:30:15 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: offered2u321

Ladies,

Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching.    Is this largely the case?      If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?    Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too?     Thx


I do a little bit of poking around, but I am more of a 'falls in my lap' person than a "go out, hunt them down, beat them over the head, and drag them back to the lair by their ponytails" kinda gal.


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to offered2u321)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 1:35:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I have a habit of looking at those who look at Me, if they have a picture on the "who's viewing" list or if it's a name I recognize from the boards.  I'm not a big profile reader, unless it's someone that I want to contact.  I don't cruise the other side much. 

As for contacting potentials, I very much agree with what Jewel had to say.  A lot of people have different ideas about poly (many think swinger) or are strictly monogamous, so I don't tend to make initial contact other than friendship.  I'm more likely to approach someone at a real time event than here through this site.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 2:41:24 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I look sometimes but usually I'm just too lazy to bother. Guess I'm not much of a fisher.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 3:39:42 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Well it seems unlike My esteemed Sisters here, I don't sit and wait, I look as 99% of the petitions I get have not read My profile or don't care. The petitions are no acceptable like: "i know you will be only happy when you have sliced off my balls and penis and stand there laughing with it dripping in Your hand".
 
riiiggghhhhtttt.
 
I look, its safer at times.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to offered2u321)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: do you Ladies do any looking? - 12/4/2008 4:13:27 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I don't go looking for play mates.  I do look at the 'hunk of the day' that pops up on the home page. If a photo pops up that is interesting, either a striking chunk of man meat or just very interesting photography, I will send a short compliment.  I have searched through the ones close to me from time to time actively looking for someone who might want to play... but I've already exhausted most of those possibilities.

Honestly, I'm far more likely to message someone who posts interesting ideas here on the message boards.  If I'm 'looking' for friends, I look HERE - not at profiles.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 20
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