do you Ladies do any looking?

do you Ladies do any looking? (Full Version)

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offered2u321 -> do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 6:48:47 AM)
Ladies, Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching. Is this largely the case? If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too? Thx

Mistresscali007 -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 6:54:45 AM)
I personally don't search simply because I have no need to, my mailbox is usually overwhelmed as it is! lol

thetammyjo -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 7:46:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: offered2u321 Ladies, Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching. Is this largely the case? If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too? Thx Right now I'm not looking therefore I'm not looking... get it? When I was open to expanding my household I didn't look either so much as open myself to the possibilities when I went to munches and events. I keep my eyes and ears open to new buddies and to new potentials and that is how I've found every good submissive I've trained and every good slave I've been privileged to own. In general though, its a basic matter of supply and demand. If the demand for anything, people included, is less than the demand, those supplying need to do little attract attention to themselves other than put themselves out there in the most basic way. Fair or not, it is basic economics and it works for human relationships on that initial step of finding each other as well as cars, food, and clothes, etc.

Madame4a -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 8:53:16 AM)
You'll have to define proactive searching.. I do look, looked at you for example when you first posted in this forum, that said... I periodically get fed up with what I find so I often spend long periods of time not bothering. I check people out now and then when a photo or name or forum post looks interesting -- but that's about it. I tend not to write -- my shot across the bow is looking at a profile, if they look back, I figure they'll write if they want. I will only write if I have something moderately interesting to say... ahem for example... to you nice bike and to answer the question, I do prefer some sort of interest from the other party... while I'm dominant, I'm not aggressive except in certain situations... grin quote: ORIGINAL: offered2u321 Ladies, Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching. Is this largely the case? If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too? Thx

DVsFox -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 8:53:50 AM)
My Owner found me, though she wasn't exactly looking for me. She did indeed make the first contact. However, she is always proactive in contacting new people. DV's Fox

LadyHibiscus -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 8:54:29 AM)
I do a lot of proactive searching, write to those that interest me, all that sort of thing. Not too many interest me, though.

Lockit -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:03:57 AM)
I will look at profiles when I have time, but I read more than submissive's profiles. I am not searching when I look. My life is such that I wouldn't invite anyone to this party and most run from it anyway, so I let them contact me if they are interested in knowing me. If they read the profile they know that the challenges are there and then... hey... it's fair game! hehe

DiurnalVampire -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:04:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: offered2u321 Ladies, Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching. Is this largely the case? If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too? Thx With the volume of potentials that contacted me first, I didnt have time to make contact for a while. Once that tapered off, I went looking for what and who I wanted rather than waiting to see if someone came to me. I dont care who makes the advances, honestly, but when I went through my mailbox and the vast majority of those contacting me had made no effort to find out what I was actually looking for before offering themselves to me, I realized I would have no luck finding what I wanted that way. So, I read profiles and made contact myself, and started ignoring the majroty of those contacting me unless it was obvious they read my profile first. Most, amazingly, dont. DV

Madame4a -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:20:43 AM)
I wanted to add that while you might find that an old paradigm -- it can simply be a preference for some. It is my preference, but I will contact someone if I want.

LaTigresse -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:26:39 AM)
I look at profiles, all sorts of profiles. I am a curious person. Sometimes I email interesting looking people. That does NOT mean I want to own them. It just means that something about them interested me in some way. It could have been something funny they wrote on their profile or a photo that caught my eye for some reason. I certainly do not look at every submissive female as a potential slave for me. That's just silliness. I simply like getting to know, new people.

SweetDommes -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:39:26 AM)
I look; I sometimes message. It's rare though. We have very little interest in anyone who doesn't have the initiative or the confidence to message us - if a boy doesn't message us, then that's what we see. Right or wrong, that's how it is - particularly when, as others have said, we have plenty of messages in our inbox. Whether or not it's a supply/demand issue, you have to do something to stand out to someone even when looking for a "normal" relationship ... this is really no different.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:39:31 AM)
So far I've found the interest search and the unsolicited mails I've gotten have proven to be enough. I will keep open to finding a girl, but right now I'm working on consolidating things with the new Boy.

OttersSwim -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 9:43:24 AM)
Yep, my Lady found me too. [:)]

ShiftedJewel -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 10:19:30 AM)
*I looked... and I like that pic!!! Very nice profile!! And welcome to the boards.* Seriously... I do look, I even write on occasion. But being poly makes it a lot tougher. There seems to be waaaay to many misconceptions out there... lol. But yeah, I look. Between that and the fact that I love my frozen north and all the snow that goes with it... well, I do look. *Jewel*

Lashra -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 11:38:43 AM)
I have looked for males and females here, so far I've been disappointed with my findings. After a an initial chat, maybe a few email exchanges they want to hook up for kinky sex, or I find out they lied to me about important things. I tell them from the get go I am a slow mover and in no rush so unless your willing to be patient until I feel the time is right, don't waste my time or yours. So for now I've stopped looking. ~Lashra

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 12:30:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: offered2u321 Ladies, Maybe this is a really dumb of me, but I get the feeling that alot of Dommes don't do much searching themselves; that they primarily deal with "potentials" that contact them instead of proactively doing the searching. Is this largely the case? If so, isn't that kind of counter-intuitive? Does the old "males are supposed to make the advances" paradigm persist here too? Thx I do a little bit of poking around, but I am more of a 'falls in my lap' person than a "go out, hunt them down, beat them over the head, and drag them back to the lair by their ponytails" kinda gal. [;)]

LadyPact -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 1:35:18 PM)
I have a habit of looking at those who look at Me, if they have a picture on the "who's viewing" list or if it's a name I recognize from the boards. I'm not a big profile reader, unless it's someone that I want to contact. I don't cruise the other side much. As for contacting potentials, I very much agree with what Jewel had to say. A lot of people have different ideas about poly (many think swinger) or are strictly monogamous, so I don't tend to make initial contact other than friendship. I'm more likely to approach someone at a real time event than here through this site.

Usako -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 2:41:24 PM)
I look sometimes but usually I'm just too lazy to bother. Guess I'm not much of a fisher.

CatdeMedici -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 3:39:42 PM)
Well it seems unlike My esteemed Sisters here, I don't sit and wait, I look as 99% of the petitions I get have not read My profile or don't care. The petitions are no acceptable like: "i know you will be only happy when you have sliced off my balls and penis and stand there laughing with it dripping in Your hand". riiiggghhhhtttt. I look, its safer at times.

MsStarlett -> RE: do you Ladies do any looking? (12/4/2008 4:13:27 PM)
I don't go looking for play mates. I do look at the 'hunk of the day' that pops up on the home page. If a photo pops up that is interesting, either a striking chunk of man meat or just very interesting photography, I will send a short compliment. I have searched through the ones close to me from time to time actively looking for someone who might want to play... but I've already exhausted most of those possibilities. Honestly, I'm far more likely to message someone who posts interesting ideas here on the message boards. If I'm 'looking' for friends, I look HERE - not at profiles.

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