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RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 3:01:54 PM   
Naga


Posts: 147
Joined: 10/11/2008
Status: offline 		In some ways you are doing too much. You are setting and enabling a pattern of behavior that feeds her needs. Do you ever get the impression that you keep going in the same circle over and over again? That is because you are.

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 4:15:15 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

 ...i know she is a good girl because she has been my submissive before... it is the Dominant that makes a submissive/slave...


frenchbitch,
 
this slave wholeheartedly disagrees with your assumption above (in bold).
 
it takes (at least) two to tango.
 
quote:

...The most messed up part about all of this is that they aren't having sex and he yells at her for not f_cking him but then when she anniciates sex, she gets rejected...


again, this slave disagrees with you. the most fucked up part of your little story about your friend is this gem:

quote:

...she has a kid and nowhere to go or anyway to support her kid if she leaves him...

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 4:53:18 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		A person has to save themselves, Op. You can't wave a magic wand and fix her, because she will never be fix that way. To many women without jobs, and having children have made it on their own. It might have been one of the most challenging period of their lifes, but they did it.

oceanwynds

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 5:28:45 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		there's plenty of places for people like her to go and plenty of options to be had, but those who don't go, choose to be the professional victim in my mind's eye. i'm starting to believe that the professional victim is the one that guys like the most these days.  it makes them feel all manly, powerful, and a white-knight.  so perhaps your friend likes the attention she gets from being the victim, but refuses your help because she's waiting for a white knight to come and save her; i see it happen all the time.

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 6:23:14 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

there's plenty of places for people like her to go and plenty of options to be had, but those who don't go, choose to be the professional victim in my mind's eye. i'm starting to believe that the professional victim is the one that guys like the most these days.  it makes them feel all manly, powerful, and a white-knight.  so perhaps your friend likes the attention she gets from being the victim, but refuses your help because she's waiting for a white knight to come and save her; i see it happen all the time.


I wish I could say you were wrong on that daddysliloneds, but unfortunately I have seen it way to much myself. White knight, saviour, or any other word you can think of seems to be some womens focus. sigh

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 6:38:52 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		She's in a abusive relationship. I know....

Tell her about that part. she may not leave but you never know.

Dreamer

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 7:14:13 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Emotional abuse is soul destroying, and having been through a marriage that encompassed physical abuse for some time, but emotional abuse for longer it is the sort of abuse that makes a body doubt themselves the most, robs them of all esteem, and leaves them a wreck without the inner strength to impel the initial steps to leave.

It is emotional abuse that saps the life essence out of a person, and the type of abuse that is the hardest to escape from. Everyone understands the imperative for escaping physical harm, because short of locking a victim up everyone they come into contact with sees the abuse writ large on the body. Emotional abuse is invisible for the most part, and insidious with it.

i am afraid that apart from being there when she needs to cry, to gather her thoughts, and offering her a tangible way out with somewhere safe to go to there is nothing that you can do to help her.

If, given all the times you have talked her through what is happening and the fact that the offer of safety has been made, she does not feel able to pick herself up and move out you cannot force the issue.

What it took for me was not only the feeling that i was in danger of impending physical violence but also someone i respected with all my heart giving me a deadline and gently but firmly encouraging me towards the day agreed for the move.

i don't know that your relationship with this woman gives you the gravitas to issue that kind of ultimatum and have it adhered to, but it might be worth thinking about and maybe letting her know that from a certain date there will be a room with her name on the door somewhere safe, thus giving her time to plan a dignified and safe escape.

Other than that you can only carry on being there, bolstering her flagging self esteem and encouraging her that life would be better away from such an environment. Not what you want to hear, i know, but you are not in a position to make demands of someone who is in even the worst kind of relationship with someone else.

All anyone can hope is that she gets the courage to sort her life out for the best.




(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 9:05:00 PM   
frenchbitchchris


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		thank you all for your feedback. a therapist? come on. seriously?! what is she going to tell her Master when she requests to go to a therapist? that she is unhappy so they can have ANOTHER fight? go to a woman's shelter with her kid? what kind of life would her child have?

you people think its so easy. she IS stuck. she is a stay at home slave and mother. her choices are pretty limited.

sexisub, thank you for your input. i appreciated your posts because you truely know how it feels and is putting that into account.

pinkwind, thank you to you as well. your post was very caring and obviously spoken from someone with some experience. i agreed with everything

she is NOT a professional victim. in fact, she is the strongest woman i have ever met. she holds her house down, makes sure her child is well taken care of, gives an outer appearance of a strong woman with the heart of gold WHILE being brokendown consistantly. No one would know what goes on in her house, it is just she is my best friend. i know everything about her. she is in a f_cking hell... and unfortunately i think you are right pinkwind, there isn't much i can do about it but be there for her. i was kind of afrain of that.

i am not trying to make a pass at her. i have already done that. i am an owned slave.. i have nothing to give her. i just want her and her kid to be happy. they both mean a great deal to my whole leather family and i. i just thought there would be a few people on here who have been in the same situation.

what does a stay at home mother/slave do with a child who isn't old enough for school? -sigh-

YES she does want out. it's more difficult then saying bye.

--french bitch

< Message edited by frenchbitchchris -- 12/4/2008 9:12:04 PM >

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 9:25:53 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchbitchchris

thank you all for your feedback. a therapist? come on. seriously?! what is she going to tell her Master when she requests to go to a therapist? that she is unhappy so they can have ANOTHER fight? go to a woman's shelter with her kid? what kind of life would her child have?

you people think its so easy. she IS stuck. she is a stay at home slave and mother. her choices are pretty limited.



Well, the child wouldn't live in the shelter forever (and neither would she).  And I'll tell you what kind of life her child would have - a life knowing that the child's mother was strong enough to leave an abusive situation and make a life for them. 

I know exactly how difficult it is because I've done it - minus the child - but if I had had a child I would have wanted to do it even more, so that my child could have a decent life.  And yes it is hard, but I did it and others have as well.

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 9:28:59 PM   
frenchbitchchris


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		okay.. ill suggest it... thanks

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/4/2008 9:40:03 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		/sigh

Once again, I am going to be the bad person here. What can I say, I can't resist being honest.

Going by what YOU have put here....she's playing you...she's playing on your friendship, your emotions, and your willingness to cry for her.

IF she truly wanted to leave....as you state she does....then she would. End of story. From what YOU say here...she cries and moans to YOU about how unhappy she is, how he is 'abusing' and using her...blah blah blah ( to steal Aileen's favorite quote ).

You reached out a hand to help her...she refused it. She would rather bitch and moan about her fate than actually do something to actively change it. That says to me that she does NOT really want to change it.

There is always...ALWAYS ...somewhere to go if a person needs to go.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 4:40:21 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Cause you're talking about a sex therapist not an actual one right?

Actually sex therapists ARE real therapists they just specialize in the sex department.

OP I think your friend needs to sort out what she wants and where she wants to go with her life. It sounds to me like she is miserable but who really knows? If she wants out its up to her all you can do is be there as part of her support system.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 5:03:23 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

quote:

Cause you're talking about a sex therapist not an actual one right?

Actually sex therapists ARE real therapists they just specialize in the sex department.


tee hee that's true!! =D

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 5:04:37 AM   
polyamory2


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/29/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings sexisubi,
                           first of all you are not your friend...so stop deciding what she needs. You have been given some great advice and you say she does not need it, she does not need it. As her friend you get the information that you have been given here to her and let her decide. And being shouted at has another name verbal 'ABUSE', guess what, that is as bad and at times worse then being beaten. The shelters are there for ABUSE victims, not just PHYSICAL ABUSE. And before you say one das not know what she is talking about...this one has been on both sides of the line. Do not judge what your friend needs, let her do that. Just get the information to her and show her that you are there for REGARDLESS of what she decides...even if she stays with him. She may need you in the future if she ever leaves him, that is the most important thing you can do...BE THERE.

estah

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 5:24:02 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: polyamory2

Greetings sexisubi,
                          first of all you are not your friend...so stop deciding what she needs. You have been given some great advice and you say she does not need it, she does not need it. As her friend you get the information that you have been given here to her and let her decide. And being shouted at has another name verbal 'ABUSE', guess what, that is as bad and at times worse then being beaten. The shelters are there for ABUSE victims, not just PHYSICAL ABUSE. And before you say one das not know what she is talking about...this one has been on both sides of the line. Do not judge what your friend needs, let her do that. Just get the information to her and show her that you are there for REGARDLESS of what she decides...even if she stays with him. She may need you in the future if she ever leaves him, that is the most important thing you can do...BE THERE.

estah


mmm estah,

have you read all my posts on this thread?

and i am not the OT, as i stated before if she thinks it's that bad and takes the option... then awesome.

i do not understand where your hostility (if that is what the caps are for...) towards me is... but again this is actually not my topic, sorry to confuse.

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to polyamory2)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 5:26:56 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		dude, i guess you only want to hear what you want to believe, so even though i'm a single mother that has been in exactly her situation before and managed to get out, i'll keep my mouth shut, because apparently, in your eyes, the ones of us that have gone through this shit before, don't know anything, and you know it all!!!!!

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 5:55:38 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		How about minding your own business and letting her take care of her's?
 
And if you are an owned slave, you ought to know what to do: consult your master and do as he commands.

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 6:14:09 AM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchbitchchris
what does a stay at home mother/slave do with a child who isn't old enough for school? -sigh-

YES she does want out. it's more difficult then saying bye.

--french bitch


It depends on what kind of a wage she would make if she re-entered the workforce.  I've got 3 children, so I know what I'm talking about.  Daycare can be very expensive, and if she doesn't make enough to cover it, it makes the situation very difficult.  On the other hand, if she does make enough money to make it worthwhile, then daycare is an option.  Not optimal for those who feel their place is to be home with their children, however, in this situation, optimal doesn't seem like an option. 

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Over Angry Master's and how it effects their slave'... - 12/5/2008 11:21:26 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		But she does have a place to go as a stop-gap...........she has a place with you and your Master?

She's not physically 'stuck', as you said , she's emotionally 'stuck'.

It's hard to see *abuse* in your OP..........certainly a crap relationship but abuse?

agirl

(in reply to frenchbitchchris)
Profile   Post #: 39
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