How To: expressing your sadistic desires

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TheVoiceofOne -> How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 12:56:45 PM)
Hello all, I have a question or ten, directed at the self-proclaimed sadists among us. What causes you to have sadistic urges? Is it the same trigger every time? Or, is it a constant need? Is it a combination of many differing factors, depending on your mood, the weather, how spicy dinner was, etc. or what? How do you know how far to take your urges? What is the line for you, between expressing your sadism in a "healthy" way, and abuse? A bit about me, I am a lifelong dominant personality type of a guy. I have been involved in 3 D/s and 1 M/s relationships, totally about 12 years. I am more and more realizing that semi-regularly, I have strong urges to cause suffering, and that these urges are pleasurable to think about. What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days... These feelings do not entail anything criminal, or anything that would make me the week's star on criminal minds... Just stuff some of you people do. Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self?

Rover -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:00:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne What causes you to have sadistic urges? *Why do I like pizza more than liver? Some things just are.* quote: Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self? Being odd is something everyone has in common. John

TheVoiceofOne -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:03:10 PM)
Interesting, but less than helpful.

celticlord2112 -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:05:36 PM)
quote: Am I odd, and in need of immediate help You're very odd....quite perverse in fact. This oddity has created stress within you which only the sounds of a screaming slave will release. Find a slave and make her scream. Then you'll feel better.

Rover -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:12:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne Interesting, but less than helpful. There's valuable advice in that post. It's up to you to make it helpful. John

Cuffkinks -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:20:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days... This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there.

DesFIP -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 1:26:21 PM)
Akasha talked about this a while back in Ask A Mistress. How she will indulge her sadistic urges and once having sated them, not be interested again for a few weeks. But that after a period of time, the need to play would build up and she couldn't focus on much more than doing something devilish to someone. From a sub's point of view. If we don't play for three weeks, I get short tempered and/or weepy. I need the release. Last week we played five out of seven nights. I'm not sure I was getting anything done during that time but I sure was happy! On those rare occasions where we have hours available we're both walking around laughing and looking like we're drunk the next day. So yeah, having cyclic urges is not uncommon.

KnightofMists -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 2:09:04 PM)
For me.. it's always there. I either choose to sedate it or not. It doesn't control me.. I control me.

SailingBum -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 2:32:33 PM)
Yep I don't quesiton why I enjoi it. I just do. What the OP describes is a anger management class. When I get pissed off I do NOT have the urge to hurt ppl. BadOne

LadyPact -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 2:47:31 PM)
In the OP, you specifically mentioned prior D/s and one M/s dynamic. My first question back to you is, was there an S/m element involved in those? It's completely possible that there was, and you get that little desire to do those things again from time to time. The other possibility is that there wasn't, but you are now starting to think of sadism as a fun little way to do things and it's become an urge for you. That information might have helped Me to construct a more helpful reply. As for My own case, I really look at My sadism that way many people see their sexuality. I get urges to hurt people very much the same way people see getting horny. Sometimes, it's because a stray thought has wondered through My head because of something I've seen or heard and it linked to another thought. Other times, it's just because it's been a while since I've played and I feel the yearning to do so. It could be because there's an upcoming event where it would be a good idea to bring My toybag along for the ride. Yes, I also tend to get a bit cranky if I haven't let My sadist out to play in a while. There are people in My life who know Me well enough to tell Me that I need to go beat someone to get an attitude adjustment for Myself.. It's not something I can ever argue with because I know they are right. As a fellow sadist, I wouldn't say anything is wrong with you. It's more a case of wanting to have your urges satisfied.

TheVoiceofOne -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 5:00:01 PM)
My question was not originally about myself.... But, I got to typing and went too far. I simply wanted to know if you sadists had particular triggers in life, or urges, or if it was a constant need. Thank you for your input, you were only one of three who were actually useful. PS. How do I edit my original post?

DesFIP -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 5:57:09 PM)
I read the cranky bit as that he gets cranky if he hasn;t played for a while. Not that he uses s & m to take out his anger at the world. Which is it? You can only edit for about an hour after you put up a post. After that the edit button disappears. Irritating to have to look at your typos for all time! If you want to elucidate, do so now. Some people won't read down to your second post, but some of us will. Or start a new post if you want to refine your question.

ItalianSMistress -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 6:24:51 PM)
I consider myself to be rather sadistic and think I have been that way for a long while. For as long as I can remember. I find its always there, the urge to be sadistic, however, there are certain times that it is stronger than others. For example, I am a sexual sadist, so if I am turned on, the urge increases. The more turned on I get, the more intense the need for sadism. Other things can trigger it too, like if I see something…first thing that comes to mind is Hostel or Hannibal, that kinda thing. The suffering does not always have to be sexual, but it usually is linked to my sex drive somehow. However I am not JUST a sexual sadist, I find I am a sadist in general, so even things unrelated to BDSM or sex itself can trigger it. If I am having a bad day, or am pissed off at someone, that totally ruins it, I don’t feel the urge at all, as I am more consumed by what is going on to make me feel that way….. To the OP, I started my reply a while ago, and was interrupted, so I peeked at the page again, and noticed you said it was not about yourself, but in the post, you say its you. And if its not, why are you writing about it? I have a feeling it is about you, and like many sadists, you learn to hide it……. I have become sick of hiding, I know even on here, many of the sexual sadists do not understand the triggers that have nothing to do with BDSM………but, I can only be myself!

glori -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 8:02:28 PM)
I sure can relate. I have feelings of wanting to be hurt, whip, knives etc. Seems the major hangup of others when they hear of me is the fact that I AM NOT into oral sex. Just need the pain at times.

SailingBum -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 8:07:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne A bit about me, I am a lifelong dominant personality type of a guy. I have been involved in 3 D/s and 1 M/s relationships, totally about 12 years. I am more and more realizing that semi-regularly, I have strong urges to cause suffering, and that these urges are pleasurable to think about. What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days... These feelings do not entail anything criminal, or anything that would make me the week's star on criminal minds... Just stuff some of you people do. Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self? Ya know whenever I post on here and I don't like the advice given it's always about a "friend of mine" who has issues. jeez you can't even take responability for what you said. Man up dude. I take quite a few hits here for my post and I own each and every one of them. BadOne

BitaTruble -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 8:25:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne Hello all, I have a question or ten, directed at the self-proclaimed sadists among us. What causes you to have sadistic urges? I honestly don't know. There are just some folks who would make lovely targets and I'd like to beat the crap out of them or at least make them bleed a little. [:D] quote: Is it the same trigger every time? Or, is it a constant need? Not for me. Different days I have different moods. Sometimes it's person oriented, sometimes it's a timing thing (never underestimate opportunity!) and sometimes it's something else. It's not constant for me though and if I can't engage, it's not a big deal. quote: Is it a combination of many differing factors, depending on your mood, the weather, how spicy dinner was, etc. or what? How do you know how far to take your urges? What is the line for you, between expressing your sadism in a "healthy" way, and abuse? The line for me is the consent. As long as my victim.. er.. um.. partner says yes, it's all good. quote: Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self? Those are not exclusive so it could be both. If you're worried, talk to someone professional about it and then go from there. Won't hurt.. might help.

xxblushesxx -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 8:34:20 PM)
If you go to the B site and go to the Technique section, you will find a question that is very similar asked by TheEnlightened1. (I'm just sayin'...)

OrionTheWolf -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 8:55:42 PM)
Alabaster skin, obsidian hair, ruby lips, crimson rivers drawn with a sharp instrument to the pleasant sound of agonizing screams. Nah, I have no problem with my sadistic side. Any volunteers?

IrishMist -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 9:04:04 PM)
quote: This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there. Why is it not quite right? If he is doing/getting what he wants, and his partner is doing/getting what he/she wants....what makes it wrong? a bit off the original topic.........all this talk of pain, blood, pain...beatings...sadistic urges............shit....ya'll sure know how to stir up the enthusiasm [:D][:D][:D]

OrionTheWolf -> RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires (12/4/2008 11:05:04 PM)
I agree. As far as the talking, I want to do my crimson masterpiece to Snow White Queen by Evanesance. Just too hot. quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there. Why is it not quite right? If he is doing/getting what he wants, and his partner is doing/getting what he/she wants....what makes it wrong? a bit off the original topic.........all this talk of pain, blood, pain...beatings...sadistic urges............shit....ya'll sure know how to stir up the enthusiasm [:D][:D][:D]

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