quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress

I consider myself to be rather sadistic and think I have been that way for a long while.  For as long as I can remember.  I find its always there, the urge to be sadistic, however, there are certain times that it is stronger than others.  For example, I am a sexual sadist, so if I am turned on, the urge increases.  The more turned on I get, the more intense the need for sadism.  Other things can trigger it too, like if I see something…first thing that comes to mind is Hostel or Hannibal, that kinda thing.  The suffering does not always have to be sexual, but it usually is linked to my sex drive somehow. However I am not JUST a sexual sadist, I find I am a sadist in general, so even things unrelated to BDSM or sex itself can trigger it.  If I am having a bad day, or am pissed off at someone, that totally ruins it, I don’t feel the urge at all, as I am more consumed by what is going on to make me feel that way…..
 
To the OP, I started my reply a while ago, and was interrupted, so I peeked at the page again, and noticed you said it was not about yourself, but in the post, you say its you.  And if its not, why are you writing about it?  I have a feeling it is about you, and like many sadists, you learn to hide it…….  I have become sick of hiding, I know even on here, many of the sexual sadists do not understand the triggers that have nothing to do with BDSM………but, I can only be myself!

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists



The root of the feeling.. be it persistent or in spurts is rather irrelevant.  It's what you do with that feeling matters.  One can just let it drive you into actions regardless of any consideration of consequences.. positive or negative.  Or one can Choose with consideration of the consequence one wish to achieve to sedate those feelings.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

So, you see your sadism as a kind of drug, to sate the beast for a time?

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

So, you see your sadism as a kind of drug, to sate the beast for a time?

There is no beast! not in my world.  I don't need to distant my desires with idolizing it as "the beast"  My desires for sadism is just a part of who I am just like I get hungery so I will eat to sedate the hunger.  But... just like I want to eat some things and not other things or I will eat later and not now or only this amount instead of that amount.  My sadism is the same way.  My hunger doesn't control me.. I control my hunger and sedate it in the manner that I desire.  My sadism is no different.  It is just one of the many wonderful things that make me, ME

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

MR, I have a question about compatibility. See I want to know that I'm compatible sexually and playwise before I totally commit. If you need the commitment first, then what happens if she needs to know about the compatibility first, and also what happens if after commitment you discover you aren't compatible?

Actually, I was using "wear my collar" less literally. No one has actually worn my collar yet in the sense of a committed relationship.

It really has nothing to do with commitment, but there is, at least, for me a mental connection between me and someone who is submissive to me. It just has to be present.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

MR, I have a question about compatibility. See I want to know that I'm compatible sexually and playwise before I totally commit. If you need the commitment first, then what happens if she needs to know about the compatibility first, and also what happens if after commitment you discover you aren't compatible?

Actually, I was using "wear my collar" less literally. No one has actually worn my collar yet in the sense of a committed relationship.

It really has nothing to do with commitment, but there is, at least, for me a mental connection between me and someone who is submissive to me. It just has to be present.

Thanks for clarifying. I don't do casual either but there's a difference between genuinely liking a person, being friends of some degree and being collared, committed. I read it a little too literally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

I guess it's important to note there are different forms of sadism, too. In the simplest sense, there is sexual and non-sexual sadism; they don't always live together in the same house and don't have to involve causing physical pain. The essence of forceful operant conditioning itself is a high, but dissecting only the physical nature of the machine isn't quite where the pleasure is at from my perspective, which is why sadism or masochism without context is meaningless—at least for me.

As for expressing sadism in a "healthy" way, I tend to balk at moralizing there. There are plenty of Popes of Rope and self-important celebrity leatherists who have written and spoken extensively on what is and is not abuse. One could get past parsing the tea leaves there and say much of it is abuse, technically. Based on what you've written here, I don't think you're odd. I would just say you're expressing a drive honestly and openly. Take what the "collective" thinks within reason, too. There is a lot of politically correct claptrap in circulation, even among those who should know better.

Thank you mucho lots, your post was very informative, interesting and helpful. I fall into a very similar camp of thought on the matters you brought up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

ok. that is just lustful and droolable. my stars!!

lee

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

So, you see your sadism as a kind of drug, to sate the beast for a time?

There is no beast! not in my world.  I don't need to distant my desires with idolizing it as "the beast"  My desires for sadism is just a part of who I am just like I get hungery so I will eat to sedate the hunger.  But... just like I want to eat some things and not other things or I will eat later and not now or only this amount instead of that amount.  My sadism is the same way.  My hunger doesn't control me.. I control my hunger and sedate it in the manner that I desire.  My sadism is no different.  It is just one of the many wonderful things that make me, ME

quote:


. I use the term "the beast" so that others may understand ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:


. I use the term "the beast" so that others may understand ...

And what are you trying to get them to understand when you use the term.  I find it not at all useful, infact,  If I used it I would find it to create more a lack of understanding of my world and viewpoint of sadism.  Often I even have to make sure that a person understands that I don't have this seperate distinction of my Sadism in "the beast".  So many have projected this viewpoint that it has become a common place of understanding.  Many people have accepted that this "beast" is a part of them... but few have accepted that "the beast" is them!!  I have found those that do, find it rather silly and even miscommunicating to use the term in reference to their sadism.

In short... MY sadism is like a hunger that I feed.  I choose how I feed my hunger! and as such live with the consequences of those choices.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I don't walk around calling it that, but have considered that term from time to time as a result and at times referred to that part of me (to my former owner) as my inner beast. He called me "animal girl" which I thought was cute (in its context).

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I don't like this concept of disassociating oneself into parts that are like a seperate entity.  This is not different that slut role or etc etc.  I believe sometimes this dissassociating is almost on the verge of resisting responsibility for ones choices. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I don't walk around calling it that, but have considered that term from time to time as a result and at times referred to that part of me (to my former owner) as my inner beast. He called me "animal girl" which I thought was cute (in its context).

To me there is a huge distinction to be made saying  "the beast" as compared to "my inner beast"  I don't like this concept of disassociating oneself into parts that are like a seperate entity.  This is not different that slut role or etc etc.  I believe sometimes this dissassociating is almost on the verge of resisting responsibility for ones choices.  We are indeed complex individuals with many parts to ourselves... beast, slut, etc.  but using the labels in a way that disconnect them from ourselves is not to me a constructive... in fact I think it inhibits a deeper enjoyment of this part of ourselves.  Accept that part as you and enjoy it.... and try to do it responsibly would be my hope.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I have no idea if that makes any sense at all, putting it in writing like this! Hopefully it does. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I have no idea if that makes any sense at all, putting it in writing like this! Hopefully it does. :)

It makes perfect sense. 

quote:


I have to wonder how many submissives have disassociated their submissive selves as well. 

quote:


It seems more than a few have struggled with this and when they have accepted it as a part of themselves they have found "freedom" or peace.  I don't see this as being any different for Dominants or Sadists etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

But that after a period of time, the need to play would build up and she couldn't focus on much more than doing something devilish to someone.

From a sub's point of view. If we don't play for three weeks, I get short tempered and/or weepy. I need the release. Last week we played five out of seven nights.