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What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/slave t... - 12/26/2005 11:48:55 AM   
SirEbonyDlite


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/8/2005
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I have a query for all the experienced Doms/Masters: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a potential submissive/slave they might consider? Should they ask them about their job, if they have children, limits in the lifestyle, etc.? Any sound, constructive and POSITIVE advice is welcomed. Thanks!
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 12:57:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The same things any person would ask any other person if they wanted to form a relationship with them.

Even more importantly is taking the time to get to know them and see how they ACTUALLY operate in life and where they ACTUALLY see their life going.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 1:53:33 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		You should start by asking yourself what you're looking for....

Your examples suggest at least 2 separate types.... So, are you looking for a full relationship founded on on a D/s dynamic or are you looking for a "piece of meat" where limits are a priority issue?

A relationship means things like job and kids as well as *connecting* all have to be considered. And assuming you've had vanilla relationships, you should already know what to ask. Personally, I think this is the easier path to travel as most of us have some experience at communicating with another *human-being* with mutual interest and attraction.

If you wanna go down the "hard limits" path, then you'll probably have some experience with a "something on the side" kinda relationship that may or may not involve honesty with each other.

So I suspect you know what to ask as it really depends on what *you* seek - human or meat? No matter which, I'd strongly suggest being honest with any potential you contact....

Focus.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 2:52:31 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a potential submissive/slave they might consider? Should they ask them about their job, if they have children, limits in the lifestyle, etc.?


I agree all of the normal compatibility relationship questions, but also let me throw out some food for thought. It is my belief that you must be compatible on the maturity of your D/s journey.

When i first got into the lifestyle i was a bratty "make me do it" sub, if i had met my Master during those times, we would not have been compatible at all. Even though our relationship compatibility status is the same.

I had a Dom attorney for 2 years, our lives paralleled beautifully. Except, I was growing and maturing and needed control. He was capable of being a very effective Dom; however circumstances were not right for him to take on this responsibility. We still remain wonderful friends.

But again, lifestyle maturity and goals should be very similar for the consideration to even begin in addition to the day-to-day compatibilities. IMHO, you may want to gear some questions about maturity and goals in the lifestyle.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

< Message edited by willing2serve -- 12/26/2005 2:54:59 PM >

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 4:54:27 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyDlite



I have a query for all the experienced Doms/Masters: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a potential submissive/slave they might consider? Should they ask them about their job, if they have children, limits in the lifestyle, etc.? Any sound, constructive and POSITIVE advice is welcomed. Thanks!


Hmmm...I would expect any potential Dom/Master to ask me the general questions. Such as: how many hours do I work, do I have little ones, how do I fit my schedule around them, etc, etc. If they did not, then how would they understand if I had to suddenly cancel for some reason relating to this.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 8:08:38 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Why not make a list of what's important to YOU? From that list formulate a reasonable set of questions that you can ask without sounding like a member of the Inquisition. Be prepared to ANSER these questions (and more) about yourself to the person you are taliking too. One of my first questions to a prospective Sub is: "What are you looking for and what would you want to receive from a relationship with me?" Make it a point to listen carefully to the answers and try not to be too judgmental until you know why they say things. Also be sure there aren't going to be any immediate problems that can't be solved (like one person who smokes and the other can't stand the smell of smoking). Be very forthright and honest when you answer questions and don't lie. If there is going to be a problem, this is the time to find it.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/26/2005 10:07:09 PM   
bloodredrose


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I agree totally with the above advice...especially given my encounter this summer with a Dom who was aware from my profile that i sought a one-on-one permanent relationship for which i was willing to relocate overseas,and who omitted to tell me that he was actually married!Honesty is KEY above everything else,and if you don't show this respect then a relationship is sinply not workable, IMHO.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/27/2005 2:29:23 AM   
millisande


Posts: 182
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		In addition to all of the above, it would also be helpful if you made sure that you understood what the potential sub was actually saying, as opposed to simply hearing the words they speak.... i have watched numerous relationships go down the hole, only to find out later that it was all an issue of semantics.

Just my humble $0.02.

Respectfully,
adrianne

_____________________________

[img]http://www.swampreclamation.org/forum/images/avatars/gallery/home%20made/camelback-mountain.jpg[/img]

(in reply to bloodredrose)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/27/2005 3:34:14 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		I make certain I'm speaking with an authentic submissive by a series of questions regarding their visions and ideals and open-mindedness. Outside of this, I am often concerned with interactive compatibility. For example, I like slapping and having my feet kissed and worshipped. If a prospective has trouble with these things, chances are she's not going to add to my happiness. I am quite up front about what their intended place in my life will be, and if that's a problem, ciao.

Basic questions of compatibility help, too. Namely, what type of music / art / literature / future dreams / lifestyle (and so on) does she favor, and does it jive with you?

A lot of questions can be answered before the phone call by simply looking at a girl's profile. Does it click with you? I've spared myself from hours of "getting to know you" conversation by simply taking the time to read profile data and notice the one who just contacted me is looking for nothing more than an over glorified husband. No, thanks.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/27/2005 4:50:16 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Two questions.
Are you poor?
Are you rich?




_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to amayos)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/27/2005 5:32:32 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		i think they should ask each other those (and other) questions. Given today's medical and political environment not to be as open as we can with each other can be just down right dangerous -- mentally, emotionally, economicly and physically.

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to fastlane)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 2:50:14 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Two questions.
Are you poor?
Are you rich?



Such borderline questions tell more about the questioner than the respondent.

(in reply to fastlane)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 8:53:10 AM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyDlite



I have a query for all the experienced Doms/Masters: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a potential submissive/slave they might consider? Should they ask them about their job, if they have children, limits in the lifestyle, etc.? Any sound, constructive and POSITIVE advice is welcomed. Thanks!


Though I was introduced to Master through friends, he took a very heavy interest in my life. He asked me about my past, my family, friends, my kids, my job...how I felt about each and every one of them, he asked me about my hobbies and interests, and why I liked each of them. He went out of his way to integrate himself in MY life so that he could understand me more, and my desires, wants, and needs.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 9:17:10 AM   
MasterLark


Posts: 249
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyDlite



I have a query for all the experienced Doms/Masters: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a potential submissive/slave they might consider? Should they ask them about their job, if they have children, limits in the lifestyle, etc.? Any sound, constructive and POSITIVE advice is welcomed. Thanks!


Many many many questions. To dominate you must know (her) better than she knows herself.

Ask many health history questions -- that is the beginning of playing safe.

her profile and every response is a source of more questions.

The questions never stop.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 9:30:50 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		Can she make good bragiole

Does she appreciate and understand the perfection of 90 feet to first base?

Can she swing dance? East & West Coast Swing!

Does she play cello, naked?

Sartoris





_____________________________

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)
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RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 9:37:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Does she play cello, naked?


You are really narrowing the field with that one!



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 10:04:53 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		3 out of 4 ain't bad!

Sartoris

_____________________________

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 10:11:07 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801

Can she make good bragiole

Sartoris



Oh...I haven't had really good bragiole in years.
Damn you! Now I have such a craving.

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 10:13:25 AM   
Sartoris32801


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen,

How's it feel to want?



Sartoris

_____________________________

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What questions should a Dom/Master ask of a sub/sla... - 12/29/2005 10:21:59 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Wanting puts me on a mission.
Little Italy here I come!
It's so delicious when a craving is perfectly satisfied, isn't it!

And of course I'm not talking food. :)

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 12/29/2005 10:23:30 AM >

(in reply to Sartoris32801)
Profile   Post #: 20
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