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sexisubi -> what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:21:03 PM)

ok.. so i know already that i might get riticuled for asking this but that's ok :) it's my birthday so i can handle it.

So i was looking at profiles today just because the picture topic made me think and i thought i would run around and veiw some pictures. i also have a thing with journal entries, i think they are fun to read and it tells you a lot about a person. However, many of them are soo negitive and i was wondering... first: i was thinking of writing a journal entry about it but before i do...

For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?

And if it doesnt turn you off, does it make you more intreged and make you want to message them?




xxblushesxx -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:25:03 PM)

Turn off.

Sheesh, if they can't manage to be positive and interesting in their journals (depending on what they're writing about) I doubt they can do so in rl.



sub4hire -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:25:41 PM)

If I were looking and reading journal entries...all were negative.  Yeah, it would probably make me take a step back.
Yet, at the same time a journal entry is an easy way to start to get to know another person...that is if they are being negative.
You could always pad your entries to be something you aren't.  Though I doubt many are smart enough to do that.

Too much negativity gets to a person. 



Rover -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:27:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?


I'm not sure what consitutes "negative writing", or whether I would find that a turn off or not.  I guess it depends upon what they were writing about and how it's written.  But it is certainly the case that what someone writes is meaningful to me.

quote:


And if it doesnt turn you off, does it make you more intreged and make you want to message them?


Sometimes that happens as well.  Everyone doesn't write the same thing or the same way, and how I respond depends upon the specifics of each case.
 
John



Padriag -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:33:15 PM)

If I see several journal entries with a pattern of negativity, or only a single entry that is very negative... I will probably not take an interest in that person.



Usako -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:38:22 PM)

A profile is what catches the eye so it should be positive and inviting. A journal, however, is just that...a journal. It's supposed to be a place where people can write their inner thoughts, feelings, desires, likes and dislikes. If you can't rant and scream irl then hell yeah do it in your journal. Writing helps the soul. But then comes the issue...this is a public site, your journal is linked to your profile; EVERYONE can read it. So should you tone down your inner thoughts to try and attract someone? When people kept journals irl, none of the online garbage, they kept locks on them. Locks to keep people from reading it...now people "blog" and EXPECT people to read it. It's utterly backwards.

I really wouldn't believe someone who had 100% positive journal enteries. They're either censoring themself for the sake of others or way too happy for my liking.



CreativeDominant -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:39:04 PM)

When I read someone's profile, the whole of what they write is more important to me than just bits and pieces.  If their entire profile is negative and all their journal entries are negative, then it turns me away from the idea of getting to know that person...though my insatiable curiosity may lead to questions in my head as to why they are so negative.

But...not everything in life is positive.  Sometimes there are lessons to be learned and what is written about these lessons won't always come off as positive.  Sometimes, we have negative experiences and it confirms something for us or forces us to look at something in a different way or it might just feel bad and that writing is not going to come off as happy either.

When I read through my own profile, I see a mix of what I seek in a relationship, something of my views on dominance and submission, some lessons learned and, in my journal, there is an entry that is not all that positive.  That does not mean that positive stuff, as it happens, won't be noted though.



MrQwerty -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:45:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
ok.. so i know already that i might get riticuled for asking this but that's ok :) it's my birthday so i can handle it.


Happy birthday.
 
I got the ridiculed joke very good.[8|]
 
The majority of journals are used for moaning or describing the "day in the life of..." Those that moan can't write a good "the day in the life of.." because they don't have one. Moaning is the second option after considering if you have a life to write about. This is just a general observation and an opinion I am very humble about.[8|]



marie2 -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:53:09 PM)

FR

The single biggest turn-off to me are profiles that scold the reader:

"Unless you are A, B and C do NOT waste my time."

"If you're not ok with X, Y and Z don't bother me."
 
"If you don't like blah blah blah stay away from me"
 
There are so many creative and non-offensive ways to state what you are and aren't looking for.  And when I see someone who can't do it by any other means than laying down a bunch of angry and defensive orders for their reader, I conclude that they wouldn't be very good at effective communication in a relationship.



NuevaVida -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 2:57:46 PM)

A negative attitude is a turn off for me. Bad stuff happens to people. What they do about it and how they respond to it is what catches my interest...or not. Someone presenting a hopeful and (mostly) positive attitude even in the midst of duress is going to catch my attention. Public self pity will not.



HalfShyHalfWild -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:00:29 PM)

Instant tune out for me. Now if they are biting, sarcastic and funny, I like that.
But the ones with journal after journal about all 'the loser and fakes', I'm clicking out there as quickly as possible.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:02:22 PM)

I won't ridicule you, but I might just spank you  since it's  your birthdday* winks playfully* [:D]
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

ok.. so i know already that i might get riticuled for asking this but that's ok :) it's my birthday so i can handle it.

So i was looking at profiles today just because the picture topic made me think and i thought i would run around and veiw some pictures. i also have a thing with journal entries, i think they are fun to read and it tells you a lot about a person. However, many of them are soo negitive and i was wondering... first: i was thinking of writing a journal entry about it but before i do...

For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?

And if it doesnt turn you off, does it make you more intreged and make you want to message them?





sexisubi -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:03:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrQwerty

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
ok.. so i know already that i might get riticuled for asking this but that's ok :) it's my birthday so i can handle it.


Happy birthday.
 
I got the ridiculed joke very good.[8|]
 


Thank you! and Thank you, i'm glad someone else got it! =D =D =D


ps: still observing and thank you all for answering it's good to see this info and also can posibly help others write their own profiles if we extend it to that which i guess leads me to my next question.

if negitivity doesnt turn you off what does?

thanks again all =)   



celticlord2112 -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:07:58 PM)

quote:

For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?

Not looking currently (was looking and found one here)

Major turn off. The idea is to find someone who takes the beatings, facefuckings, and public humiliations with a SMILE.[;)]



hopelesslyInvo -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:10:48 PM)

it's fairly rare i make it to their journal, i only read the journals of people i am interested in past a certain degree.  i like to read profiles on the other hand, but i'm often stopped by the profile at some point as to not have interest in continuing on to read their journal.

when i do read them, i would say no, it's not a turn off necessarily because it depends what they might be bickering about.  so much of the time though, whenever i find a woman that i want to know more about, the first thing i see is NO MEN!! and it's pretty rare for me to read their journals lol



akisha -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:16:45 PM)

Someone that is always negative or always whining just irritates the heck out of me. Major turn off. Right up there with negativity are those that never take accountability for their actions. When something goes south it is always someone elses fault.

You get what you give. If you choose to only see the bad that only thing you will experience in life is the bad because you constantly turn your back on the good.

I do not need to voluntarily bring excessive negative energy into my life.



CatdeMedici -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:19:58 PM)

Anyone who is constantly negative for Me is a turnoff as is someone who is always Polyanna--someone who faces lifes challenges, tackles them, resolves them and learns from their mistakes--I will look at and ponder.



Rover -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:37:11 PM)

Silly me... Happy Birthday.
 
John



sexisubi -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:42:13 PM)

thanks John! =D

one more question, is there anything that turns you off when you look at a profile? (that was my next question... directed to anyone who wants to answer really.)



Rover -> RE: what do you think? (12/4/2008 3:46:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
is there anything that turns you off when you look at a profile?


Too numerous to list.
 
John



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