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collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 2:44:19 PM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		Just curious to know how people see this:
Assuming that collaring implies ownership, what do you think is more important... the decision/committment to 'collar' a sub/slave or the physical collar itself?

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 2:49:15 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		The relationship is more important to me than a symbol of it.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 2:49:57 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I wouldn't say either.  The decision to collar clip was just Mine.  However, it wasn't complete until all three of us were there in the moment.  It was when all three of us knew we wanted to be a family, and made the decision to be so.

The collar on his neck is never more important than the bond between us.


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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 2:54:31 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		The collar was $16.95 from petco.  I could go buy a hundred of em if I wanted.  The slave girl, on the other hand, is a bit tougher to come by.  I'm pretty clear which is more important to me.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 3:01:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		One of the easier questions out there- anyone who assumes a collar means anything is asking for trouble.

The physical symbol is great, but meaningless without the internal commitment.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 3:13:14 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Quick Reply

Agreeing with the other posters, the inner commitment has to be there. Sometimes though symbols are a significant representation of elements of that relationship, for example, I have a collar, love it but my nipple rings signify being owned to me more than the collar cuz having them done was a really big deal for me. Makes my slave self smile everytime I see them, even 5 years down the track. I think if I ever had to take them out for any reason, Id be really sad!

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 3:15:13 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		There is no collar on me,and that is alright. It has no meaning for Sir or me.

I will be forever grateful for cm threads on collars. When I first got into D/s, I thought there was something wrong with me for not being collared. Many of the posts though have given me comfort to realize I am just fine. Sir and i have a relationship that works for us. Some people have a need for collars and/or wedding bands, while others find no significance in them.

blessings

oceanwynds

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 3:17:42 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides

Just curious to know how people see this:
Assuming that collaring implies ownership, what do you think is more important... the decision/committment to 'collar' a sub/slave or the physical collar itself?


The physical collar is worthless without the commitment to the slave. Fox's collar has been changed out several times, he has worn a total of 4 different variations since I got him. The fact that he has something around his neck doesnt make him more or less commited to me, it is just the symbol of that commitment. Just like not wearing my engagement ring, which I occasionally leave home when I am doing scheduled maintenence at work so I dont damage it, doesnt make me less engaged.

DV


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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 3:48:52 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Which is more important, the wedding band or the marriage?

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 4:03:33 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides

Assuming that collaring implies ownership, what do you think is more important... the decision/committment to 'collar' a sub/slave or the physical collar itself?


It really depends upon the individual relationship.  I have seen plenty of power exchange relationships in which the owner did not place much value at all in either the relationship, or property they owned.  I'm not saying that's wrong... it may work perfectly well for them.  But in terms of importance or value, I'm not sure which was more prized; the relationship or the collar.  The value of any relationship is only as much as each of the partners make of it. 
 
Similarly, as a symbol of ownership, a collar's value or importance is highly relative.  Not usually for it's monetary value or cost, but for what it represents.  Those who value their relationships often place great value on the symbol of that relationship.  But in general, I believe that a collar is considered an object, and no matter how symbolic and valued, it's worth does not exceed that of a partner or relationship (as might be the case with a religious artifact or symbol, for example).
 
As to the value of collars in general, I often hear rhetorical references to them being more meaningful than wedding rings.  And while that may indeed be the case for some folks, it's obvious to me that it is not the case for the majority of folks.  And no, it's impossible for everyone to be the exception to that generality. 
 
I have always asserted that when collars come with the same responsibilities as wedding rings.... when dissolving a power exchange relationship means parting with half the house, half the retirement fund, half the the assets... there will be considerably fewer collars being offered. 
 
John

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 4:08:05 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
I have always asserted that when collars come with the same responsibilities as wedding rings.... when dissolving a power exchange relationship means parting with half the house, half the retirement fund, half the the assets... there will be considerably fewer collars being offered. 

*laughs*  Yeah, I'd guess that also. 

Insofar as ring vs. collar, for me, it's about 50/50.  They are both symbols of my marriage.  If I had to choose to only keep 1, it'd be the ring.  For Carol, it's a no-brainer.  The collar means nothing to her other than I like seeing it on.  The ring is everything.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 4:12:53 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
I have always asserted that when collars come with the same responsibilities as wedding rings.... when dissolving a power exchange relationship means parting with half the house, half the retirement fund, half the the assets... there will be considerably fewer collars being offered. 

*laughs*  Yeah, I'd guess that also. 

Insofar as ring vs. collar, for me, it's about 50/50.  They are both symbols of my marriage.  If I had to choose to only keep 1, it'd be the ring.  For Carol, it's a no-brainer.  The collar means nothing to her other than I like seeing it on.  The ring is everything.


Ring, collar; that's my ideal.  Commitment's the important part; not the symbols we wear. (Though they're cool too  :>  )
  Davan

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 4:36:22 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		Without the commitment between two people, a collar (whatever form it takes) means absolutely nothing.  To me anyway.  I can't and won't say what it means to others.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 7:03:09 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		i can live without the collar.

No contest, committed relationship wins hands down.


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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 7:06:52 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides

Just curious to know how people see this:
Assuming that collaring implies ownership, what do you think is more important... the decision/committment to 'collar' a sub/slave or the physical collar itself?


Both.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 7:43:43 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

The collar was $16.95 from petco.  I could go buy a hundred of em if I wanted.  The slave girl, on the other hand, is a bit tougher to come by.  I'm pretty clear which is more important to me.


Apparently, we browse the same fetish stores. Doesn't petco totally beat any online kink shop in terms of selection and design?

And they are far more comfortable!

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 8:54:10 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The collar, any collar means precisely what the person who places it about the neck of another decides it shall mean.  No more and no less... 

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 9:06:48 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline 		To me, the collar is symbolic of the relationship/commitment (similar to the engagement/wedding rings)... an outward visible symbol of the bond between the two people.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 9:11:45 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides

Just curious to know how people see this:
Assuming that collaring implies ownership, what do you think is more important... the decision/committment to 'collar' a sub/slave or the physical collar itself?


Ownership and acceptance of such implies a behavioral, cognitive and emotional decision to commit. The decision to collar is for folks who like the concept of collar and what ever intent or purpose it represents in its meaning. 
Assuming collaring implies ownership, is backwards.Personally, I could not collar my Bichon until I paid the moola for him.I could not collar my Shepherd until I adopted him from the SPCA.Own then do whatever. As the submissive, I decide to accept ownership.  That is the decision. My Sir says a collar is like a marriage ring.That is him getting down on his knees and asking me to accept.   Collars of trainingcollars of considerationcollars of speculationcollars of potential collaringvelcro online collarsIt's the meaning to the individual, not the masses.

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RE: collar - is it literal or figurative - 12/5/2008 9:16:42 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

The collar was $16.95 from petco.  I could go buy a hundred of em if I wanted.  The slave girl, on the other hand, is a bit tougher to come by.  I'm pretty clear which is more important to me.


Apparently, we browse the same fetish stores. Doesn't petco totally beat any online kink shop in terms of selection and design?

And they are far more comfortable!

I MUST get my Owner to Petco next time he buys his cat food and request he venture into the toy section.  A plush toy is far softer than a crop on my hinny!! 

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