stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
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Okay, so let's see, so what are the considerations?
First thing, you only have one life, this is it, no rehearsals, no practice, this is the real deal and as you get older and older the opportunities and chances for happiness get fewer and fewer.
You are responsible for your own decisions, actions and choices. Always have been, ever since the moment you were born, you took the decisions, to the responsibility for your own sexual fulfillment lies not with your Master, not with us, it lies fairly and squarely with you.
What is a successful relationship? A successful marriage? To me it's one where both parties in the relationship take care of each other to ensure each other's welfare, happiness, love, fulfillment, and if you both care to remember back to your wedding day this is all the stuff you signed up for, good and bad, in sickness and in health, and so on and so on.
Submission has got more to do with putting the needs of your dominant first before your own needs, rather than putting the needs of your dominant first at the expense of your own needs. A dominant is someone who ensures that the needs of his submissive are met. It all comes back to responsibility and communication. This however isn't any different from any other successful relationship on this planet.
Fucking around, as you put it, doesn't solve the situation, but from what I can see, further complicates it. If you are happy with those complications, with the feelings of guilt, and with the possibility of further consequences which none of us here can predict then go ahead, but I don't see any solution here.
But the bit about responsibility and communication applies just as much to your Master as it does yourself. Being a dom isn't just about calling the shots and having control, nor is it a licence to be selfish or inconsiderate, for having control gives one freedom over a submissive but also within that freedom carries its own responsibility.
Let's not forget that in order to consummate a marriage you are required to get down to some plain old barra barra. Therefore in my mind it would follow that there is a responsibility in being married with ensuring that you are in a situation always to ensure that you and your spouse both have ample opportunity to barra barra. Understood there are medical conditions and other reasons which may prevent barra barra from taking place but here from what I can see it's a case of a lack of communication and short-sightedness on either or both sides.
But you (the OP) also have your own responsibility, and it doesn't matter whether you call yourself a wife, a submissive, a slave, or the Queen of Sheba, you are responsible for ensuring that you find yourself in relationships which fulfill your needs and provide you with that level of feelng loved, cared for, happy, and satisfied which you as a human being need, want and desire.
I think you both need to communicate more effectively and to discuss this. You say he works away from home for 8 months a year, is there no way you can be with him? Can he not change his job? How about you both relocate so that home and work can be in the same place?
I also see another possible solution. If this situation were reversed and there was no possibility of barra barra, a better solution to me than fucking around with someone else and threatening a marriage would be going to see a prostitute, and this is what I feel a better solution is - a male prostitute or escort.
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RE: troubled sub - 
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