RE: Submit to me, bitch! (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 2:56:35 AM)

I'm starting to wonder if this would be one of those good revolving threads.  Whenever we get one of these entertaining folks writing us, we could add the chosen pick up line and reply.  Might be a good idea for the mass mailing, form letter types.  It would be hilarious if we all started using the same reply to the form letter guys!



MsStarlett -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 3:51:03 AM)

I'm liking that idea.

Shall we start with the "Your dick is smaller than my strapon" or "What's the matter, cupcake?  All the subby girls laughing at your dick?"



wickedondine -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 8:20:12 AM)

It always amazes me when people do this. With me, for some reason, it's always men. Women seem mostly to know better. I tend to get about a minute of amusement out of it, followed by annoyance. Generally I say things like 'Oh! My Gods! Obviously I should totally rethink my predilections for your convenience! How may I serve, O Master?' if I'm feeling snarky, or 'I'm not a submissive to begin with- why would I submit to someone I could break?' if I'm irritable.



VampiresLair -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 8:55:56 AM)

OK so I'm a little late on this one.
My favorite response to the "You havent met the right Dom" is "You are right, and I still havent"
And there is always the "You cant be a proper domme if you havent submitted." I love that one.
So, my response is "OK, you first, I'll see how it works for you, then I might think about it."

Personally, though, I have many more offers with the dominant men wanting to submit to me than the ones wanting me to submit to them.

DV



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 6:05:41 PM)

Depends on my mood, I usualy ignore them.

Either that or I will say something like wow your powers of reading comprehension must be very very poor, if you can't tell by reading my profile I have a Daddy dom, and he's the only one I take orders or instructions from.


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

What do you ladies do when approached by another dominant, I will assume male, who gives you the whole: “Do you have the courage to submit to me?”, “You haven’t met the right dom, get on your knees.” bullshit.  Do you just ignore them or do you have a good come back?



Lynnxz -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 6:24:20 PM)

I just offered to throw on a strapon, and swordfight him. Pew pew! Bring in onnnnnnn[sm=boxer.gif]



Madame4a -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 6:24:55 PM)

~FR~  a quick and non siginificant survey of my "who's viewing me" shows approximately 75% male dominants. ... of that number, way fewer message me, though some do... the gist of it is.. "hi" .. LOL... and a few want to 'submit' or 'switch'.. 0% have gotten past a few messages ... so far



MsStarlett -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 6:50:38 PM)

Oddly enough, I have a new 'Admirer' who is a very hot Dom.  He has never sent me a note of any kind.  What a pity.  He would look SO GOOD chained to my wall.  *yummy*



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 7:25:32 PM)

I got an email from a dominant female once... she told me that my profile didn't sound very submissive and offered to help me "fix it"...  I wrote back to her and said "Gosh... that's good... I worked really hard to sound dominant". lmao
 
She wrote back and said she realized her mistake the instant my nic in bright red in her inbox... lol. She was nice enough though.
 
And I like the idea of keeping this thread going, you know... for those moments when someone goes brain dead and needs a good come back...
 
Jewel



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/11/2008 11:54:36 PM)

I've had good luck with the tall, thin, ectomorphic build. Plus they also tend to have narrow hands.



LadyPact -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/14/2008 11:07:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

And I like the idea of keeping this thread going, you know... for those moments when someone goes brain dead and needs a good come back...
 
Jewel

In that spirit, here's a new one.

Freshly typed into a CM mail.

"Are you a complete twit or are you still working on finishing the project?"



MissAidan -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/15/2008 12:01:02 AM)

I think the best one I have dealt with was clearly looking for a sub who is a devout Christian, and my profile clearly states that I am Pagan.  In his first email to me, AFTER having viewd my full profile, he stated how perfect he thought I was for him.  I pointed out that no, I am not.  He then began to rip in to me about how I needed a good, strong Dom in my life to "bring me forth from the darkness of unorganized paganism and into the true light of Christianity" and how he planed to turn me into the "perfect Christian slut slave".  I actually kept that one around for a while...makes for an interesting conversation piece of drinks with friends, and has been the source of many laughs for me.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/15/2008 12:19:30 AM)

Oh don't even get me started on reliving that nightmare.   I had a very bad ending to a date with a devout christian (previously fun, now braiwashed/judgemental/conflicted twit)  once.   [sm=axe.gif]  M



MistressDaraine -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/15/2008 9:10:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAidan

I think the best one I have dealt with was clearly looking for a sub who is a devout Christian, and my profile clearly states that I am Pagan.  In his first email to me, AFTER having viewd my full profile, he stated how perfect he thought I was for him.  I pointed out that no, I am not.  He then began to rip in to me about how I needed a good, strong Dom in my life to "bring me forth from the darkness of unorganized paganism and into the true light of Christianity" and how he planed to turn me into the "perfect Christian slut slave".  I actually kept that one around for a while...makes for an interesting conversation piece of drinks with friends, and has been the source of many laughs for me.


OMG!  That is hilarious!  I have yet to get anything trying to change my religion.  Unorganized paganism?  And Christianity IS organized?  And how stupid do you have to be to think that you'd want to bring a "Christian slut slave" into the "true light"?
I am so glad you shared this one.  It's probably one of the best I've heard yet.



MissAidan -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/15/2008 9:12:13 PM)

You know, I try not to think to hard about what the hell this guy was talking about.  It just makes my brain hurt.  Sometimes I wonder how much this guy had to drink before typing!



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/16/2008 4:30:17 AM)

Oh I've had the Bible thumpers email me too. One guy insisted on chat... I told him I don't chat and asked what was so important. He told me he wanted to share the Bible with me, to show me the error of my ways and save me from going to hell. I wrote back to him and told him he does NOT want to argue the Bible with me!!
 
Strangely enough I never heard from him again.
 
Jewel



MsFlutter -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/16/2008 6:45:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

..."Do you spit or swallow" thrown in...'


I can never resist answering that one with 'I buy my own jewelry - I don't have to swallow'



MsFlutter -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/16/2008 6:50:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

This local dom wrote me, "I am ready to serve."  I responded, "In what capacity?".  Never heard back, wonder why?  Seemed like a reasonable question to me!


LOL - I got a similar one. My response: " excellent - be here Saturday at 8 a.m. and bring your power washer !'



mydniterose -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/16/2008 6:36:32 PM)

Not to make it sound as if it's only the men that are guilty of this nonsense...I just got one from a Domme the other day.
 
The first message I ever got from her was:

"Locks collar on your neck"

WTF!?!?

I wrote to her after looking at her profile and it sure looks like a woman...and then I looked at my profile just in case it had somehow morphed into one for a submissive fem looking for another Domme to control her....but nope! It still says I'm a Dominant woman looking for a submissive.

Sooooo, I pointed out that either she was 1) dumb, 2) rude, or 3) just didn't read.

Her very pissed off reply was "I read it, I just didn't care"!  Of course when I looked at the log of who had read my profile,you guessed it, she hadn't looked at it at all!

So it's not just the guys that get all befuddled by the pretty pictures. lol

Oh and Lockit?  I got that same invite to Egypt...did you want to go together? Safety in numbers sugah!




beeble -> RE: Submit to me, bitch! (12/17/2008 1:30:26 AM)

quote:

mydniterose write:
Her very pissed off reply was "I read it, I just didn't care"!  Of course when I looked at the log of who had read my profile,you guessed it, she hadn't looked at it at all!

If you read somebody's profile on the front page of collarme.com, you don't appear on the `Who's Viewing Me?' page.  Your profile starts,
quote:

Before writing to me be sure you have actually read my profile....ALL THE WAY THRU!!

but, according to `Who's Viewing Me?', I've never read it.  Admittedly you have quite a long profile so it only shows the start and then gives a link to the full profile page so you know that she hasn't read it all.  But I have a short profile so I have no way of knowing who's read any of it.

beeble



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