How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/9/2008 3:48:22 PM)

I have always wanted a very sexual relationship, since I have issues I'd like to over come and I wanted to learn to be multi orgasmic and stuff, so sex would be very important, but I was always leary of advertising the sexual side, for fear of attracting even more insta submission and insta sex dom types.

For me I feel a relation ship is like baking a cake, and you follow the same steps to bake a cake as you do a relationship. You decide what kind of cake you want, then you go shopping for the cake batter then you mix it and prepair it, then you put it in the over, bake it and frost it. With eating it being the final outcome. Sex to me would be the final outcome in making a kinky relationship.

How did you when you were single, or how do you now, advertise sexual needs up front in the profile and at the same time find people who had the qualities you wanted and were not insta sex "doms" ?




FRSguy -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 3:51:42 PM)

You will probably get that to some degree no matter what you do.  Its just a matter of weading through the trash until you find something you like wether you say just hi on your profile or state that you want wild kinky sex.




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 3:56:13 PM)

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags..  You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.  




E2Sweet -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 3:56:52 PM)

I don't include much along the lines of sexual interests in my profile at all... In my experience, it just draws out the trolls and is not worth the hassle it brings.




lally3 -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:04:21 PM)

hey hun,

bottom line is most of us are after sex to some degree or another, we're adults and its pretty much a given unless its stipulated from the start that there will be no sex atall, so i dont really think you need to underline that side of it particularly, other than to say you enjoy sex and want to explore orgasm control, etc.

youre going to get kinky sex guys for sure - the best way to avoid that, i fnd, though it doesnt make you immune sadly, is to project yourself as the experienced, switched on subbie you are - the kinky sex brigade tend to approach the newbies i think.

edited to add:  way to go on that title - i had no idea you could write an essay on there too.. [:D]




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:05:11 PM)

Who cares if you get more wankers?  Just means more clicks on the delete button.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:06:01 PM)

Well of course you gotta do the work, but let met ell you that ever since I said I have a Daddy and I WILL NOT play with you email has slowed to a stop lol.


I was getting 10 to 15 emails every few weeks, and now it's more like 2 each month, unless it's friends I emailed:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags..  You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.  




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:14:39 PM)

Now I am just confused.  You say that your profile says you have a Daddy, wont play, yadda yadda.  But you are asking how to advertise a sexual relationship?

Or are you just asking in a hypothetical sense?




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:44:01 PM)

Yes, like how you * other people*  managed it when you were single or if you are now still looking. Basically a chance to have a very good discussion thread also.


you not being slang for m
quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

Now I am just confused.  You say that your profile says you have a Daddy, wont play, yadda yadda.  But you are asking how to advertise a sexual relationship?

Or are you just asking in a hypothetical sense?





MsWolfPrincess -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 4:50:02 PM)

People see what they want to.  You can leave a profile completely blank and someone will simply see that you are female and run with that on its own.  I've posted on a profile in the past I was in no way, shape or form into animals.  So I get messaged by some doofus looking for a kennel slut and attaches a photo of what he was looking for.  I about lost my lunch, breakfast and dinner from the night before.




DesFIP -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 5:00:07 PM)

I figured out what I wanted in all areas; morality, ethical values, and compatible sex. Most men didn't read what I wrote and didn't match any of it. They were easy enough to know I wasn't going to click with them. Within the first two or three emails they had shown themselves to not be someone I wanted to be with.

I have a weird hard limit, I'm terrified of duct tape gags. Almost all emails I got were from doms who announced their first action would be to cross that line. They didn't approve of the hard limit. They didn't ask why I have it, just said that the way they would prove themselves trustworthy would be to do the one thing that would make me run screaming into the night. Okay, next.

One man was respectful of my limits and curious as to why. Only one bothered to ask what the hell is it with duct tape. He didn't ask with the intention of saying my answer wasn't good enough, just that he was dying of curiosity. Out of all those guys who write when you're new, only one showed me any respect. When he started pushing me a little too fast, I told him so and his response was the only apology I ever received, plus instructions to tell him if he did it again. We're still together almost six years later.

When your bottom line is respect, it's real easy to see who gives it, and deserves it, and who doesn't.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 5:00:20 PM)

Hehehe MsWolfPrincess, tha is true, people will aways read what they want into something.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 5:02:49 PM)

LOL Yup, there are those dim "doms" who proove they're not any one you'd wanna pass on the street let alone play with them, and they do typically show themselves very soon in talking.

I had one guy who thought my really traumatic anal sex experince was hot and told me he'd frequently be having anal sex with me in ways I didn't like.

Plus he totaly ignored my statement that when in little girl headspace I'm anti sexual, by asking if I wanted Daddies black lolipop for bedtime when going ni ni lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I figured out what I wanted in all areas; morality, ethical values, and compatible sex. Most men didn't read what I wrote and didn't match any of it. They were easy enough to know I wasn't going to click with them. Within the first two or three emails they had shown themselves to not be someone I wanted to be with.

I have a weird hard limit, I'm terrified of duct tape gags. Almost all emails I got were from doms who announced their first action would be to cross that line. They didn't approve of the hard limit. They didn't ask why I have it, just said that the way they would prove themselves trustworthy would be to do the one thing that would make me run screaming into the night. Okay, next.

One man was respectful of my limits and curious as to why. Only one bothered to ask what the hell is it with duct tape. He didn't ask with the intention of saying my answer wasn't good enough, just that he was dying of curiosity. Out of all those guys who write when you're new, only one showed me any respect. When he started pushing me a little too fast, I told him so and his response was the only apology I ever received, plus instructions to tell him if he did it again. We're still together almost six years later.

When your bottom line is respect, it's real easy to see who gives it, and deserves it, and who doesn't.




xxblushesxx -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 8:50:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags..  You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.  


I like rainbows.
Big...strong...hard...
erm...rainbows.
Yanno?
Rainbows.
Pretty colours and stuff...




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/9/2008 8:53:07 PM)

I found that making references to ducks and cuddling is a sure fire way to ward off the trolls...No clue what scares them more, but I'm thinking of getting an attack guard duck to see if it works real time too.

WinD




sexisubi -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/9/2008 9:31:38 PM)

i think i put something along the lines of hi, im looking for someone who is dom, out for a commitment not casual... here are my intrestest... and in the likes and dislike catagory all my sexual intrests. i didn't really put anything in my profile cause i always get emails like...

'Hey

I read your profile and you sound great, I'm looking for a serious girl in the lifestyle so message me.'

When my profile clearly states i am already in a D/s relationship and am here for friends...

Come on, the scum don't read the profiles anyway it's a lets throw as many emails as we can, as fast as we can and see what we can reel in.




kidwithknife -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/9/2008 9:48:53 PM)

My sexual interests are in my likes and dislikes.  My profile only vaguely touches on them.

Mostly because I'd rather be sure I can carry on a conversation with a potential sub and check whether we're sexually compatible later on, then check I'm sexually compatible with someone then find out I have nothing else in common.




njin -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same t (12/9/2008 10:48:36 PM)

##warning; unhelpful post##

one surefire way of generating very little response from putting 'i want a helluva lot of wild sex' on a profile is to list yourself as a straight male who won't relocate...

but even i got a message or two from american male doms.

i think the advice above sounds very reasonable - particularly @winsomedefiance & @kidwithknife...




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/9/2008 10:50:20 PM)

It sure can be tricky, my x and I were compatible in a lot of ways but sex, and it drove a huge wedge in between us, cause he was very immature and didn't have the maturity to handle rejection and would pester me untill I saw red about sex, knowing he was doing so. One time he pissed me off and pushed me to far and I told him pack your bags I am sending you home I am sick of you pestering me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kidwithknife

My sexual interests are in my likes and dislikes.  My profile only vaguely touches on them.

Mostly because I'd rather be sure I can carry on a conversation with a potential sub and check whether we're sexually compatible later on, then check I'm sexually compatible with someone then find out I have nothing else in common.





moonvine -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/9/2008 10:51:25 PM)

I didn't advertise sexual things in my profile at all - then I thought to go back and add limits because if someone is really into X and X is a limit for me there's no use going there.   Then someone complained all I had was limits...oh well at least that means they read the bloody thing!




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